The Overwhelmed Brain

Emotional Intelligence for Critical Thinkers

Building emotional deficit – Can’t find or keep friends – In Love But Still Cheated

2 Comments

Building emotional deficit – Can’t find or keep friends – In Love But Still Cheated
Building emotional deficit – Can’t find or keep friends – In Love But Still Cheated
Episode play icon
Building emotional deficit – Can’t find or keep friends – In Love But Still Cheated
August 21, 2016

Should you receive something in return for everything you give? You bet, but maybe not in the way you’re thinking.

You can build an emotional deficit by giving and giving and not receiving in the way you’d like. Resentment can build and you can get very tired of being a people-pleaser.

Also, I receive a letter from someone who feels socially inept. He can’t make or keep friends, and he feels awkward on dates. Sometimes being yourself is the best solution, but who are you really being during those awkward silences?

Finally, I talk about a woman who is deeply in love with her husband and has a great sex life, yet still cheated anyway. She can’t figure out why so I explore why even a good marriage or relationship experiences infidelity.

My Partner Changed But Is It Too Late – Guilt About Leaving the Marriage – More Manipulative People

Leave a Comment

My Partner Changed But Is It Too Late – Guilt About Leaving the Marriage – More Manipulative People
My Partner Changed But Is It Too Late – Guilt About Leaving the Marriage – More Manipulative People
Episode play icon
My Partner Changed But Is It Too Late – Guilt About Leaving the Marriage – More Manipulative People
August 14, 2016

In this episode, I talk a little more about manipulative people and share with you what might make them that way in the first place.

Association and dissociation may play a role in their behavior. If you’re not familiar with those terms, you will be after this episode.

And, what if you do a bunch of healing and growth but you realize that your partner doesn’t want to change? In fact, what if they’re happy exactly the way they are, dysfunction and all? Accountability may be the only course of action.

In the last segment, I talk about someone who worked hard on their relationship for two years. Their partner finally grows into the person they wanted them to be, but are they still in love? Is it too late now? I get a letter that addresses that very question.

How about guilt for thinking about leaving your abusive spouse? Yes, people can actually develop guilty feelings for thinking about leaving someone that disrespects and even abuses them. That’s an important topic to discuss, so let’s dive into that too.

Click here for the six reasons you may feel guilty for leaving an emotionally abusive partner.

The Dysfunction of The New Normal – Offending Defensive People

Leave a Comment

The Dysfunction of The New Normal – Offending Defensive People
The Dysfunction of The New Normal – Offending Defensive People
Episode play icon
The Dysfunction of The New Normal – Offending Defensive People
August 7, 2016

Has dysfunction become the new normal for you? Are you in a relationship where your tolerance for bad behavior is so high that you don’t even recognize what’s bad for you anymore? That sounds like a topic for discussion if you ask me!

Also, I read a letter from someone who wants to know how to deal with defensive people. There is a path to working with those types, and becoming aggressive or offensive back is not typically the best way to handle their behavior. You may have to become a bit of a sleuth. I talk about that and more in today’s episode.

Strength in Vulnerability – What if Divorce is a Mistake? – Never Happy Without Someone Else in my Life

Leave a Comment

Strength in vulnerability – What if divorce is a mistake? – Never happy without someone else in my life
Strength in vulnerability – What if divorce is a mistake? – Never happy without someone else in my life
Episode play icon
Strength in vulnerability – What if divorce is a mistake? – Never happy without someone else in my life
July 31, 2016

Vulnerability is the final step toward your strength. Your emotional core contains all of your emotions, your shame, fear, guilt, embarrassment, and sadness, but also your joy, happiness, peace, and a lot of other good feelings too.

In childhood, we learn to close off that core and only let in and out so much because we’ve been emotionally wounded. Letting those defensive walls come down lets both the bad and the good out, but only the good sticks around when you do it right.

Also, I read a letter from a woman who doesn’t want anything to change except maybe her marriage, but that means a lot of other things have to change as well. So she’s not sure if getting a divorce is the right decision.

Finally, I read a second email from a 24-year-old who has chosen a career path that he is unhappy with. On top of that, his girlfriend left him and he is not happy unless someone else is in his life. Lots to talk about today. Thanks for listening!

The Choice to Confront – Release the Pressure of Negativity – Can Long Distance Love Work?

Leave a Comment

The choice to confront – Release the pressure of negativity – can long distance love work
The choice to confront – Release the pressure of negativity – can long distance love work
Episode play icon
The choice to confront – Release the pressure of negativity – can long distance love work
July 17, 2016

Confrontation can feel dangerous. It can cause anxiety, fear, and panic. But why?

Why would we fear expressing our true thoughts and feelings to anyone in our lives?

If your repress what you want to express, you probably have a challenge confronting people. But what happens to all that emotional energy that builds up that never gets released because you never confronted it? There are ways to dissipate that energy that I share in this episode. 

In the final segment, I read a letter from a woman who left her ex-husband behind because she was learning, growing, and evolving, but he was staying where he was. She was energetic, he was not.

The rift kept widening between them so she left. Now she’s happy, but she’s in another relationship where her loved one is 1000 miles away and neither of them can move. Can long-distance relationships work?