The Overwhelmed Brain

Emotional Intelligence for Critical Thinkers

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How to Make Your Relationship Last Almost Forever

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Do you value what your partner values? If not, you may be in for a rude awakening when they suddenly get upset with you for seemingly no reason.

What’s important to you may not be important to them, and vice versa, but it might be a good idea to make what they value important to you since your relationship’s longevity may depend on it.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: anger, Ask Paul, Divorce, Fears, Marriage, Personal Boundaries, Podcast Episode, Relationships, Values, Vulnerability Tagged With: Valuing your partner's values, what's important to your partner?

When you can’t enjoy life because you’re always waiting for the other shoe to drop

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When you can’t enjoy life because you’re always waiting for the other shoe to drop
When you can’t enjoy life because you’re always waiting for the other shoe to drop
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When you can’t enjoy life because you’re always waiting for the other shoe to drop
May 5, 2019

It’s hard to enjoy life if you are weighed down with the belief that something bad is going to happen. How can you appreciate today if you believe tomorrow will bring misery?

There is a path to a better today. This episode will give you some tools to make that happen.

Filed Under: abuse, anxiety, Ask Paul, Fears, Insecurity, Obsession, Overwhelm, Relationships, Toxic Thinking Tagged With: Always waiting for the other shoe to drop

Wanting your partner to just stop doing that thing. Are Jealousy or other feelings creeping in?

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Wanting your partner to just stop doing that thing. Are Jealousy or other feelings creeping in?
Wanting your partner to just stop doing that thing. Are Jealousy or other feelings creeping in?
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Wanting your partner to just stop doing that thing. Are Jealousy or other feelings creeping in?
April 21, 2019

What do you do when you’re partner does something you don’t like? Do you stay focused on their behavior and try to make them change it? Or do you shift your focus on what you can control and do what you can for yourself so that your partner can no longer use the excuse that you’re giving them a hard time?

Jealousy, self-worth, and self-esteem make an appearance in this episode. Sometimes the people we love do things we hate.

Filed Under: Ask Paul, Control, Emotional Abuse, Jealousy, Marriage, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Self-Worth Tagged With: I just want them to change, Why won't they change?, Why won't they stop doing what I hate?

Is your compassion killing you? What you think is compassion could be self-destruction

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Is your compassion killing you? What you think is compassion could be self-destruction
Is your compassion killing you? What you think is compassion could be self-destruction
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Is your compassion killing you? What you think is compassion could be self-destruction
April 7, 2019

If you show compassion toward someone who then takes advantage of that compassion, do you back off on being kind, helpful, and accommodating?

Or do you try even harder by showing them even more compassion in hopes they will finally “see the light”?

In order for compassion to work, it has to come from an even deeper place of compassion in you… not for others, but for yourself.

Then, when you are abundant in self-compassion, you will be able to show genuine caring and compassion for others without the drain on you.

To make sure your compassion doesn’t kill you in your relationships, be sure to tune into the Love and Abuse podcast. 

Filed Under: anxiety, Codependency, Compassion, Depression, Dysfunction, Emotional Abuse, enabling, Family, People Pleaser, Personal Boundaries, Podcast Episode, Relationships, rescuer, Toxic Thinking Tagged With: compassion for others, is your compassion killing you?

8 Steps to Becoming the Ultimate People-Pleaser

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If you find yourself people-pleasing for love, attention, or fear of confrontation, then this article is for you.

As a former people-pleaser, I’ve learned exactly what it takes to become proficient at it. I’ve gained much wisdom since growing out of that phase of my life, so I thought I’d share with you my tips on how to become the best people-pleaser possible.

Of course, if you are already a people-pleaser, you may gain some extra skills by reading this article.

This article is meant to be tongue-in-cheek but also contains an important reminder about how people-pleasing almost always leads to unhappiness.

Are you ready? Here are the eight steps to becoming the ultimate people-pleaser:

[Read more…]

Filed Under: anger, Behavior, Codependency, Depression, Dysfunction, enabling, Family, Insecurity, Negative Emotions, People Pleaser, Personal Boundaries, Podcast Episode, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Self-Worth, Toxic Behavior Tagged With: How do I stop people pleasing?, Is people pleasing bad?, What is people pleasing?

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