Emotional Intelligence for Critical Thinkers
When it comes to visiting family, who you are can sometimes regress into the child they remember you as instead of the fully capable adult that you are now.
How do you know this is happening? When you’re afraid to be yourself around them, it’s happening.
When you were a child, whatever fear came up, you figured out a way to survive the moment. These survival skills were very handy in adolescence simply because they worked to keep us alive!
Sure, we probably weren’t going to die, but it felt like it! Then, years later we became adults (well, some of us did 😉 ), and soon we were put into situations that caused similar fears and once again, that old survival mentality kicked back in.
Our brains went, “Oh yeah, I know how to get through this! I learned it as a child, this is an easy one. I’ll just… (fill in the blank).” We took the belief system we developed as children into our adult world and suddenly we feel stress and pain and hurt, and all kinds of things we didn’t expect.
That’s because we stuck to the old system of beliefs we created as children. And these beliefs are deep, so it’s no wonder we rarely question what we believe. But, isn’t it time to do just that? Especially if the results you are getting in life simply aren’t what you expected them to be?
Sounds like a trip to the subconscious mind is in store today! [Read more…]
If you don’t know what’s missing in your life, then you’ve been asking yourself the wrong question.
Perhaps you should ask “What’s present in my life that’s preventing me from getting what’s missing in my life?”
It may sound like an odd way to ask the question but the way you phrase questions to yourself will dictate how you think about everything. And if you change the way you think, you can change your results.
When you don’t know what’s missing, you don’t know what to focus on to obtain what’s missing. So maybe it’s time to change the questions you ask yourself.
“What’s missing in my life?”
No… How about: “What is in my life right now that, if it were missing, would help me get what I need to feel happy?”
How your phrase your language changes how you think about a problem.
The above question sounds weird on purpose. And in order to understand it, you need to reach inside yourself a little deeper than you normally would. This will help you access your innermost resources that will help you come up with a solution.
How many times in your life has something happened that was so hard to believe, that it actually hurt to believe it? You know what I mean… it’s that truth you don’t want to hear. It’s like the people who can’t believe the holocaust happened because it was just so atrocious. Or, like the email I got from a woman who found out her husband is cheating on her. It’s very hard to accept a truth that hurts us, but if we don’t, we systematically destroy ourselves.
Denial is the topic for the day. [Read more…]
When you suffer from perfectionism based in fear, you become more and more miserable as time goes on. In fact, the more perfect and controlling you are, the more disappointed with life you get. Does it make sense to be perfect? Is it actually more destructive than helpful? Many times yes.
There is a healthy perfectionism and an unhealthy one. The question is: Are you suffering or evolving? How you answer says it all. If you’re a perfectionist and are suffering because of it, continue reading. [Read more…]