The Overwhelmed Brain

Emotional Intelligence for Critical Thinkers

Stop Justifying Your Poisonous Beliefs – The Curse of Denial

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img-0How many times in your life has something happened that was so hard to believe, that it actually hurt to believe it? You know what I mean… it’s that truth you don’t want to hear. It’s like the people who can’t believe the holocaust happened because it was just so atrocious. Or, like the email I got from a woman who found out her husband is cheating on her. It’s very hard to accept a truth that hurts us, but if we don’t, we systematically destroy ourselves.

Denial is the topic for the day.  [Read more…]

Codependency: The Subtle Erosion of Love and Connection

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Codependence is when two or more people fulfill a need for each other that strengthens a dysfunction between them.

You’ll often see this kind of dynamic between several different types of people:

  • The Rescuer and the Addict
  • The People-Pleaser and the Abuser
  • The Highly Sensitive and the Insensitive

There are many more types and they all have a complimentary nature to them. Recognizing them is usually fairly easy as well. Just look for someone who seems to give a lot to the relationship but never receives enough. Toxic relationships such as this almost always build resentment because the giver becomes tired of always trying to satisfy the needs of the taker. 

It’s the perfect imbalance of love and energy.

No matter what type of codependent relationship it is, the theme is usually the same: The dysfunctional behavior of one person supports the dysfunctional behavior of another.

Important: If you believe that you may be doing emotionally abusive behavior and would like to change that about yourself, sign up for the life-changing Healed Being program over at healedbeing.com).

If you are currently in a relationship with someone who is codependent and is hurtful to you, listen to my podcast Love and Abuse to help you navigate through the difficulties.

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Personal Boundaries: Protect and Honor Who You Are at Your Core

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Boundaries are the rules we set up that dictate the people and experiences we allow into our lives. These rules also drive our decisions and behaviors, so that we can achieve a certain level of comfort and stability.

In other words, if you feel comfortable with someone, you share and give more of yourself. You can allow yourself to be more authentic, and feel vulnerable yet safe. These are the people you allow into what I like to call your “castle walls.”

If someone makes you feel uncomfortable, and they’re asking or pressuring you into doing things you don’t want to do, these are the people you keep out beyond the moat that surrounds your castle. You don’t let them cross the drawbridge, because if you do you’ll certainly compromise the integrity of your castle.

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