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Emotional Intelligence for Critical Thinkers

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Laughing at Criticism – There Are No Terrible Children – Fixing Your Own Toxic Behavior

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Laughing at Criticism – There Are No Terrible Children – Fixing Your Own Toxic Behavior
Laughing at Criticism – There Are No Terrible Children – Fixing Your Own Toxic Behavior
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Laughing at Criticism – There Are No Terrible Children – Fixing Your Own Toxic Behavior
October 16, 2016

Can you laugh at criticism? Do you believe in yourself enough so that when someone calls you anything less than you really are, you can shrug it off without those sometimes hard-to-avoid feelings?

When you get to a place inside where you are proud of yourself no matter what, then you’ll find yourself genuinely laughing instead of reacting when someone is being critical of you.

Children can seem to do awful things, but they are a result of the programming adults have fed into them since birth. Is it really their fault they are acting in the way they were nurtured and influenced?

Finally, is it possible to change manipulative, toxic behavior, and repair the damage to your relationships because of it? Both can be achieved but they require serious introspection. Heal yourself and both situations can improve and evolve.

Filed Under: Ask Paul, Behavior, Human Potential, Negative Emotions, Podcast Episode, Relationships Tagged With: Fixing Your Own Toxic Behavior, Laughing at Criticism, There Are No Terrible Children

The Silent Treatment – How Emotional Withdrawal Dissolves Love

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We’ve all done it. At one time or another, you’ve emotionally withdrawn from someone who set off some sort of emotional trigger in you.

The Silent Treatment is a protection mechanism that kicks in when you feel hurt, unsafe, or triggered in some way. When someone does or says something that betrays your values, morals, or beliefs, you may withdraw and put on your “emotional armor.”

Some information may be so hard to accept or understand that you just want to slip back into your shell so that you can process it and figure out what to do next.

Important: If you believe that you may be doing emotionally abusive behavior and would like to change that about yourself, sign up for the life-changing Healed Being program over at healedbeing.com).

If you are currently in a relationship with someone who uses the silent treatment to make you feel guilty or sad, listen to my podcast Love and Abuse to help you navigate through the difficulties.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: abuse, anger, Behavior, Codependency, Dysfunction, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Withdrawal, Human Potential, Manipulation, Marriage, Negative Emotions, Podcast Episode, Relationships Tagged With: Dealing with Emotional Withdrawal, How do I deal with the silent treatment?, I'm getting the silent treatment from my girlfriend, The Silent Treatment, What is the silent treatment?

Measuring Your Worth and Esteem – Jealous and Insecure in the Relationship

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Measuring Your Worth and Esteem – Jealous and Insecure in the Relationship
Measuring Your Worth and Esteem – Jealous and Insecure in the Relationship
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Measuring Your Worth and Esteem – Jealous and Insecure in the Relationship
October 9, 2016

Self-esteem stems from the level of self-worth you have about yourself. How do you raise either or both so that you can walk through life confidently and assert yourself when needed?

There’s “street knowledge” then there’s book (academic) knowledge. Street Knowledge is having real-world experience. Book knowledge is when you know what to do but don’t necessarily know how to do it, or have the courage to do it.

In the Ask Paul segment, I read a letter from a jealous husband who doesn’t like it when other people look at his wife. He can’t figure out how to get past these feelings.

Insecurities abound in this segment so it’s a great segue from the last one. There’s a little bit of ego involved, a leap of faith, and a lot of trust that may need to be built up in order to allow the jealousy to go away.

Filed Under: Ask Paul, Behavior, Human Potential, Insecurity, Jealousy, Marriage, Negative Emotions, Personal Boundaries, Podcast Episode, Relationships Tagged With: I don't feel loved or important, Jealous and Insecure In Your Relationship?, Measuring Your Self-Worth and Self-Esteem

The Silent Treatment – The Drawbacks of Non-Confrontational Behavior – Permission to Hate

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The Silent Treatment – The Drawbacks of Non-Confrontational Behavior – Permission to Hate
The Silent Treatment – The Drawbacks of Non-Confrontational Behavior – Permission to Hate
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The Silent Treatment – The Drawbacks of Non-Confrontational Behavior – Permission to Hate
October 2, 2016

The silent treatment is like an acid that disintegrates trust and love because of the withdrawal of emotions (emotional withdrawal). It’s hard to trust someone who gives you the silent treatment because when they withdraw, you might feel betrayed and abandoned.

I also talk about the drawbacks of non-confrontational behavior and how choosing not to confront disintegrates love and bonding. When you choose to be non-confrontational, it’s like telling the other person “I don’t want to tell you the whole truth”.

And what about hate? Are you allowed to feel hate? Should you? I think it’s important to acknowledge and accept every part of you and every thought instead of resisting your thoughts. Otherwise, you go around holding on to a lot of negativity which you eventually unleash on those you love.

Tune into the Love and Abuse podcast to help you learn how to navigate difficult relationships

Filed Under: Behavior, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Withdrawal, Hate, Human Potential, Negative Emotions, Personal Boundaries, Podcast Episode, Relationships Tagged With: How do I deal with the silent treatment?, I don't know what to do when my husband gives me the silent treatment, Permission to Hate, The Drawbacks of Non-Confrontational Behavior, The Silent Treatment

The Fate of Indecisive Squirrels is a Life Lesson for us All

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flat-squirrels-indecision-2

A few days ago, I received a newsletter as part of an email subscription* I’m on. The subject of the newsletter was The Road of Life is Paved with Flat Squirrels Who Couldn’t Make a Decision. 

I thought, wow, that paints the perfect picture of indecision.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Human Potential, Podcast Episode, Relationships Tagged With: decision and indecision, making the right choice

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