The Overwhelmed Brain

Emotional Intelligence for Critical Thinkers

Where There’s Shame There’s Strength

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strength in vulnerabilityOne of the hardest steps in any personal growth journey is the leap into vulnerability. To expose your fear, shame, guilt, embarrassment and other emotional wounds to the world, you risk judgment, ridicule and even rejection. Even the word itself means the ability to be injured or wounded. Why would anyone ever want to go there?

Because vulnerability is a path to happiness and freedom. When you choose to be honest about what’s going on inside of you with someone else, that’s being vulnerable. When you face punishment, knowing it will hurt, that’s vulnerable. When you fess up and admit that you’re wrong, that’s being vulnerable.  [Read more…]

Strength in Vulnerability – What if Divorce is a Mistake? – Never Happy Without Someone Else in my Life

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Strength in vulnerability – What if divorce is a mistake? – Never happy without someone else in my life
Strength in vulnerability – What if divorce is a mistake? – Never happy without someone else in my life
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Strength in vulnerability – What if divorce is a mistake? – Never happy without someone else in my life
July 31, 2016
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Vulnerability is the final step toward your strength. Your emotional core contains all of your emotions, your shame, fear, guilt, embarrassment, and sadness, but also your joy, happiness, peace, and a lot of other good feelings too.

In childhood, we learn to close off that core and only let in and out so much because we’ve been emotionally wounded. Letting those defensive walls come down lets both the bad and the good out, but only the good sticks around when you do it right.

Also, I read a letter from a woman who doesn’t want anything to change except maybe her marriage, but that means a lot of other things have to change as well. So she’s not sure if getting a divorce is the right decision.

Finally, I read a second email from a 24-year-old who has chosen a career path that he is unhappy with. On top of that, his girlfriend left him and he is not happy unless someone else is in his life. Lots to talk about today. Thanks for listening!

What Emotionally Abusive Communication Looks Like

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manipulation

The number of manipulative people in the world is probably a lot higher than you might imagine. Of course, maybe I have that perception because the majority of my clients are in manipulative relationships, and I just don’t see too many other types.

Back around 2010, I realized I was a manipulative person for most of my life. I used masterful communication skills to get my selfish needs met by those closest to me.

In every relationship I’ve ever been in, I found ways to manipulate my partner. It took several breakups and finally a divorce for me to realize that my behavior was the reason for all of the heartaches that kept appearing in my life.

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The Choice to Confront – Release the Pressure of Negativity – Can Long Distance Love Work?

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The choice to confront – Release the pressure of negativity – can long distance love work
The choice to confront – Release the pressure of negativity – can long distance love work
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The choice to confront – Release the pressure of negativity – can long distance love work
July 17, 2016
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Confrontation can feel dangerous. It can cause anxiety, fear, and panic. But why?

Why would we fear expressing our true thoughts and feelings to anyone in our lives?

If your repress what you want to express, you probably have a challenge confronting people. But what happens to all that emotional energy that builds up that never gets released because you never confronted it? There are ways to dissipate that energy that I share in this episode. 

In the final segment, I read a letter from a woman who left her ex-husband behind because she was learning, growing, and evolving, but he was staying where he was. She was energetic, he was not.

The rift kept widening between them so she left. Now she’s happy, but she’s in another relationship where her loved one is 1000 miles away and neither of them can move. Can long-distance relationships work?