The Overwhelmed Brain

Emotional Intelligence for Critical Thinkers

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Starting the Healing Process From Child Sexual Abuse

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Welcome Home Fiona music video by Asha Lightbearer

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In this special episode of The Overwhelmed Brain, I talk with abuse survivor, songwriter, and my partner, Asha Lightbearer, about the realizations of her sexual abuse and what you can do to start your healing today.

If you aren’t a childhood sexual abuse survivor, you know one.

Survivors of childhood sexual abuse may not even be aware that they are a survivor. I had no clue that what I went through as a child, the trauma of receiving an enema at seven years old was considered a sexual violation. It was prescribed by a doctor and administered by a member of my family, so it sounded like a completely legitimate medical procedure that should have only caused a minor discomfort.

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Filed Under: abuse, anxiety, childhood, Control, Depression, Family, Forgiveness, Manipulation, Negative Emotions, Personal Boundaries, Physical Health, Podcast Episode, Relationships, Sex Tagged With: asha lightbearer, Child Sexual Abuse, CSA, The Fiona Project

Do You Invest Too Much Into Your Relationship?

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I received an email from someone who is still obsessed over his ex even though they broke up long ago. Not in a “stalkerish” kind of way, but in a “I’m hurt and can’t stop thinking about her” kind of way. He cries almost daily and can’t get over the loss. According to him, she was everything he wanted in a girl.

He invested his time, energy, and emotions into the relationship, and even though it seemed to be going well, she decided to emotionally close off from him.

Eventually, they split. Since then, he has been unhappy. 

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Filed Under: Abandonment, Codependency, Divorce, Family, Human Potential, Marriage, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Self-Worth Tagged With: Do You Invest Too Much Into The Relationship?, When The Happiness Leaves With The Relationship

The Meaning of Communication – Guilt by Manipulation – Obsessing Over the Ex

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What you say isn’t always what they hear. What they understand isn’t always what you conveyed. Who is responsible for the communication, you? Them? Both? Neither? It’s time to explore this topic.

In Ask Paul part 1, I read a message from someone who got out of a manipulative, abusive relationship with a malignant narcissist. It was a crazy time for her, and she is healing, but she shares a lesson for us all.

In Ask Paul part 2, I read a letter from someone still obsessing over his ex. They were together a short time but he’s still grieving over the death of their relationship. What can you do when you’re in that state?

Tune into the Love and Abuse podcast to help you learn how to navigate difficult relationships

Filed Under: Ask Paul, Behavior, Guilt, Human Potential, Obsession, Podcast Episode, Relationships Tagged With: Do You Obsess Over Your Ex?, The Manipulator Makes You Feel Guilty, The Meaning of Communication

The Pattern of Anxiety – Saving Anger Only For Those Closest to You

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With General Anxiety Disorder (GAD), is there a chance of getting free of the consistent feelings of anxiety and panic? Is there a remote chance of feeling better or even making it go away completely? Maybe…

Also, I get a letter from a girl whose boyfriend gets jealous so she gets angry, which causes him to insult her, which causes her to react, and so on. I talk about a possible resolution. I’ll cover jealousy and anger and the fact that we often direct that anger at the wrong people.

Stop anxiety when it starts with The S.A.F.E. Empowerment System

Filed Under: Ask Paul, Behavior, Human Potential, Negative Emotions, Podcast Episode, Relationships Tagged With: Anxiety and Panic, Directing Anger at Loved Ones

Laughing at Criticism – There Are No Terrible Children – Fixing Your Own Toxic Behavior

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Can you laugh at criticism? Do you believe in yourself enough so that when someone calls you anything less than you really are, you can shrug it off without those sometimes hard-to-avoid feelings?

When you get to a place inside where you are proud of yourself no matter what, then you’ll find yourself genuinely laughing instead of reacting when someone is being critical of you.

Children can seem to do awful things, but they are a result of the programming adults have fed into them since birth. Is it really their fault they are acting in the way they were nurtured and influenced?

Finally, is it possible to change manipulative, toxic behavior, and repair the damage to your relationships because of it? Both can be achieved but they require serious introspection. Heal yourself and both situations can improve and evolve.

Filed Under: Ask Paul, Behavior, Human Potential, Negative Emotions, Podcast Episode, Relationships Tagged With: Fixing Your Own Toxic Behavior, Laughing at Criticism, There Are No Terrible Children

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