The Overwhelmed Brain

Emotional Intelligence for Critical Thinkers

Do You Invest Too Much Into Your Relationship?

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I received an email from someone who is still obsessed over his ex even though they broke up long ago. Not in a “stalkerish” kind of way, but in a “I’m hurt and can’t stop thinking about her” kind of way. He cries almost daily and can’t get over the loss. According to him, she was everything he wanted in a girl.

He invested his time, energy, and emotions into the relationship, and even though it seemed to be going well, she decided to emotionally close off from him.

Eventually, they split. Since then, he has been unhappy. 

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The Meaning of Communication – Guilt by Manipulation – Obsessing Over the Ex

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The Meaning of Communication – Guilt by Manipulation – Obsessing Over the Ex
The Meaning of Communication – Guilt by Manipulation – Obsessing Over the Ex
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The Meaning of Communication – Guilt by Manipulation – Obsessing Over the Ex
October 30, 2016
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What you say isn’t always what they hear. What they understand isn’t always what you conveyed. Who is responsible for the communication, you? Them? Both? Neither? It’s time to explore this topic.

In Ask Paul part 1, I read a message from someone who got out of a manipulative, abusive relationship with a malignant narcissist. It was a crazy time for her, and she is healing, but she shares a lesson for us all.

In Ask Paul part 2, I read a letter from someone still obsessing over his ex. They were together a short time but he’s still grieving over the death of their relationship. What can you do when you’re in that state?

Tune into the Love and Abuse podcast to help you learn how to navigate difficult relationships

The Pattern of Anxiety – Saving Anger Only For Those Closest to You

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The Pattern of Anxiety – Saving Anger Only For Those Closest to You
The Pattern of Anxiety – Saving Anger Only For Those Closest to You
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The Pattern of Anxiety – Saving Anger Only For Those Closest to You
October 23, 2016
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With General Anxiety Disorder (GAD), is there a chance of getting free of the consistent feelings of anxiety and panic? Is there a remote chance of feeling better or even making it go away completely? Maybe…

Also, I get a letter from a girl whose boyfriend gets jealous so she gets angry, which causes him to insult her, which causes her to react, and so on. I talk about a possible resolution. I’ll cover jealousy and anger and the fact that we often direct that anger at the wrong people.

Stop anxiety when it starts with The S.A.F.E. Empowerment System

Laughing at Criticism – There Are No Terrible Children – Fixing Your Own Toxic Behavior

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Laughing at Criticism – There Are No Terrible Children – Fixing Your Own Toxic Behavior
Laughing at Criticism – There Are No Terrible Children – Fixing Your Own Toxic Behavior
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Laughing at Criticism – There Are No Terrible Children – Fixing Your Own Toxic Behavior
October 16, 2016
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Can you laugh at criticism? Do you believe in yourself enough so that when someone calls you anything less than you really are, you can shrug it off without those sometimes hard-to-avoid feelings?

When you get to a place inside where you are proud of yourself no matter what, then you’ll find yourself genuinely laughing instead of reacting when someone is being critical of you.

Children can seem to do awful things, but they are a result of the programming adults have fed into them since birth. Is it really their fault they are acting in the way they were nurtured and influenced?

Finally, is it possible to change manipulative, toxic behavior, and repair the damage to your relationships because of it? Both can be achieved but they require serious introspection. Heal yourself and both situations can improve and evolve.

The Silent Treatment – How Emotional Withdrawal Dissolves Love

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We’ve all done it. At one time or another, you’ve emotionally withdrawn from someone who set off some sort of emotional trigger in you.

The Silent Treatment is a protection mechanism that kicks in when you feel hurt, unsafe, or triggered in some way. When someone does or says something that betrays your values, morals, or beliefs, you may withdraw and put on your “emotional armor.”

Some information may be so hard to accept or understand that you just want to slip back into your shell so that you can process it and figure out what to do next.

Important: If you believe that you may be doing emotionally abusive behavior and would like to change that about yourself, sign up for the life-changing Healed Being program over at healedbeing.com).

If you are currently in a relationship with someone who uses the silent treatment to make you feel guilty or sad, listen to my podcast Love and Abuse to help you navigate through the difficulties.

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