Emotional Intelligence for Critical Thinkers
People-pleasers appear to be very thoughtful. They will do everything they can to make sure those they love (and even those they don’t) are happy.
At first, this sounds like the ideal person to have in your life! After all, if they are set out to make you happy, who could ask for anything more?
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What if the person you’re with is toxic, but you have a belief that they are the best you can get?
What if you’re stuck in a relationship you don’t like, but stick around anyway because you think you’ll never find anything better, so what’s the point?
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Making a bad first impression is not necessarily your fault. You could be well dressed, have a great hair day, have good breath, and even have the best personality, but that mole behind your ear makes them think of their mean uncle and suddenly, their first impression of you is that you aren’t trustworthy and maybe even harmful.
That’s quite a jump in logic but it does happen. In the first segment of this episode, I talk about the first impression a listener got with this show and how he criticized every episode I’ve ever created by listening to one 15-minute segment in a single episode.
What do you do when that one person criticizes you or your work? How do you block or avoid the emotional pain behind such a thing?
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I think about some of the friends I’ve had in my life and wonder what happened to my “Yeah, but…” friends.
They were goodhearted people that would do anything for me, but couldn’t shut off their excuse machine. No matter what I said to them, Yeah, But was their answer. And they couldn’t figure out why nothing ever worked out for them.
[Read more…]Ever have a friend that said “Yeah But…” to every good suggestion you made? How about when they actually ask for your advice, you give it, but they don’t do it because their excuse machine activates?
There are two types of people I talk about in the first segment: “Yeah, But” people, and “Okay, I’ll Try It” people. Sure, there are millions of other types of people out there, but it’s a good start.
Also, I receive a letter from a woman who decided to remove toxic family members from her life and get away from abuse. She took massive first steps, but what’s next? How can you recover from a life of abuse? How can you get to a place beyond where you can relax and feel good again?
Finally, I read another letting about what it might take to reject people in your life. How about those sensitive people that might be hurt by rejection? Is there a way to get away from those who keep showing up when you don’t want them to? Sounds like a great thing to talk about.
