The Overwhelmed Brain

Emotional Intelligence for Critical Thinkers

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Losing Your Identity in the Relationship – The Brilliant, Worthy You – Exes as Friends – The Right Partner

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Nurturing yourself while you’re in a relationship decreases the impact breaking up has if and when it happens. The more you keep the connection with yourself and don’t lose a part of you in the relationship, the healthier you stay. You lose your identity in a relationship when you don’t nurture yourself.

When family doesn’t honor you and see your worth, sometimes you just have to distance yourself from them so that you reconnect with a brilliant, worthy you. Not everyone is capable of seeing what you are, so it’s important to continue nurturing and supporting yourself as if you were your own child or best friend.

When your partner has a friend who is also an ex, how do you feel about that? Do they talk all the time? Do they have to communicate because of shared custody of children? Do they communicate more than you’d like? It’s important to understand where your line is and when your partner is crossing it. Otherwise, their ex becomes a part of your relationship, which can be damaging if you’re not all good friends, to begin with.

Filed Under: Ask Paul, Behavior, Human Potential, Marriage, Negative Emotions, Personal Boundaries, Podcast Episode, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Self-Worth Tagged With: How do I find the right partner?, I don't know who I am without someone else in my life, I feel worthless and have low self-esteem, Is is okay to have an ex as a friend?

The Importance of Self-Nurturing Behavior

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How many times have you broken up or got dumped in your life? And how many times was it a piece of cake?

The end of a relationship is rarely easy. It’s possible things could go smoothly, but it doesn’t usually happen. However, how much it hurts may have a lot to do with how much you nurture yourself before a breakup happens.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Behavior, childhood, Compassion, Neglect, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Self-Worth Tagged With: I experienced neglect as a child, Nurture yourself, self-compassion, self-love

The Plight of the People-Pleaser

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People-pleasers appear to be very thoughtful. They will do everything they can to make sure those they love (and even those they don’t) are happy.

At first, this sounds like the ideal person to have in your life! After all, if they are set out to make you happy, who could ask for anything more?

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Behavior, Codependency, Dysfunction, Negative Emotions, People Pleaser, Personal Boundaries, Relationships Tagged With: How to stop being a people pleaser, people pleasing, What are people pleasers?, Why is it bad to be a people pleaser?

Weaning Off Toxic People

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What if the person you’re with is toxic, but you have a belief that they are the best you can get?

What if you’re stuck in a relationship you don’t like, but stick around anyway because you think you’ll never find anything better, so what’s the point?

[Read more…]

Filed Under: abuse, Behavior, Control, Emotional Abuse, Family, Negative Emotions, Personal Boundaries, Relationships, Toxic Behavior, Toxic People Tagged With: How to get away from toxic people, Toxic People, Toxic Relationships, Unhealthy Marriage

The Bad First Impression – Living with Debilitating Pain – Fear of Doing What’s Right For You

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Making a bad first impression is not necessarily your fault. You could be well dressed, have a great hair day, have good breath, and even have the best personality, but that mole behind your ear makes them think of their mean uncle and suddenly, their first impression of you is that you aren’t trustworthy and maybe even harmful.

That’s quite a jump in logic but it does happen. In the first segment of this episode, I talk about the first impression a listener got with this show and how he criticized every episode I’ve ever created by listening to one 15-minute segment in a single episode.

What do you do when that one person criticizes you or your work? How do you block or avoid the emotional pain behind such a thing?

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Ask Paul, Behavior, Human Potential, Negative Emotions, Physical Health, Podcast Episode, Shame, Thinking, Toxic People Tagged With: Dealing with criticism, embarrassment, Fear of Doing Whats Right For You, Living with Debilitating Pain, The Bad First Impression

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