The Overwhelmed Brain

Emotional Intelligence for Critical Thinkers

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When your partner sides with their family against you

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If your partner’s family is against you and your partner sides with them, what do you do?

When you can’t feel safe in your own relationship because your partner’s priority is his or her own family over you, you may have some hard choices to make. In this episode, Matthew Bivens and I have an emotionally intelligent conversation about an email I received from a woman whose husband shared her personal message to a relative of his.

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Filed Under: Abandonment, Ask Paul, Betrayal, Codependency, Control, Decisions, Divorce, Dysfunction, Emotional Abuse, enabling, Family, Human Potential, Marriage, Podcast Episode, Relationships, Toxic People Tagged With: blood is thicker, mama's boy, unhealthy family ties

Holding on to a lie to keep the relationship going

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Holding on to a lie to keep the relationship going
Holding on to a lie to keep the relationship going
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Holding on to a lie to keep the relationship going
December 6, 2017

When you find out a lie that your partner has been holding on to for months or years, where does that leave the relationship?

How do you move on? What if it’s a minor lie and your relationship has been going great?

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Filed Under: Deception, Divorce, Infidelity, Lying, Manipulation, Marriage, Relationships, Values Tagged With: Holding on to a lie to keep the relationship going

Attracting higher quality partners – Feeling sorry for those that abuse you – Try, try again or do or do not?

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Segment 1: Do you attract the worst partners? What does it take to find a normal person to date?

There is a path to attracting quality partners but it may involve facing your fear of loss.

Segment 2: If you feel bad for your emotional abuser or manipulator, you are more likely to stay in the relationship and take the abuse.

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Filed Under: abuse, Codependency, Compassion, Control, Divorce, Dysfunction, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Withdrawal, enabling, Manipulation, Marriage, Relationships, Thinking, Toxic People Tagged With: Attracting higher quality partners, Feeling sorry for those that abuse you, Try try again or do or do not?

Losing love and the general lies we tell ourselves

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Black or white thinking can lead you to be untrusting of people and the world in general.

If you’ve loved and lost and cannot figure out how to love as deeply as you once did, it could be a general distrust you carry around – seeing people as either safe or not safe. If you cannot be vulnerable, a difficult thing to achieve after pain or betrayal, you may not be able to rebuild the emptiness in your heart.

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Filed Under: Betrayal, Divorce, Lying, Marriage, Relationships Tagged With: Losing love and the general lies we tell ourselves

A Near Miss Still Leaves a Mark: The Danger of the Abusive Relationship

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Back in 2017, my girlfriend and I took a trip to visit my family in New Hampshire. We both enjoyed sitting with people we knew well, enjoying their friendly faces and warm conversation.

Like most families, our conversation shifted toward a “remember the time…” direction, where we shared both happy and sad memories of the past.  

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Filed Under: abuse, Behavior, Control, Divorce, Dysfunction, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Withdrawal, Family, Manipulation, Marriage, Narcissism, Physical Health, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Self-Worth, Toxic People Tagged With: Dealing with an alcoholic person, domestic violence, Emotional Abuse, near miss

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