The Overwhelmed Brain

Emotional Intelligence for Critical Thinkers

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Saying “No” To Someone Reveals Their True Nature

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What kind of response do you get when you need to honor yourself with someone by saying “no” to them? I had to do this once with a business partner, and it was one of the hardest things to do.

It wasn’t just a “No, I can’t help you”, it was a, “Hey, I know we’ve been planning a project together for over a month and a half now, and I know we’re going to have a conference call about it on Sunday, but I need to bow out now. I realize I’m fifty percent of the project, and that without me, you really won’t be able to finish it, at least in a short amount of time, but I have to back out.”

I’ll tell you, it was hard to click send on that email. It was an email instead of a phone call because I really wanted to word my message so it conveyed all my thoughts without interruption.

In a live call or conversation, you could say one word and the entire conversation could go into an emotional spiral. Tempers can flare and your message may never get heard. The only thing that might be conveyed is that you are abandoning them. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Abandonment, Betrayal, Communication, Decisions, Friendships, Human Potential, Personal Boundaries, Rejection, Relationships Tagged With: Saying No, true character

Personal Boundaries: Protect and Honor Who You Are at Your Core

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Boundaries are the rules we set up that dictate the people and experiences we allow into our lives. These rules also drive our decisions and behaviors, so that we can achieve a certain level of comfort and stability.

In other words, if you feel comfortable with someone, you share and give more of yourself. You can allow yourself to be more authentic, and feel vulnerable yet safe. These are the people you allow into what I like to call your “castle walls.”

If someone makes you feel uncomfortable, and they’re asking or pressuring you into doing things you don’t want to do, these are the people you keep out beyond the moat that surrounds your castle. You don’t let them cross the drawbridge, because if you do you’ll certainly compromise the integrity of your castle.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Behavior, Codependency, Emotional Abuse, enabling, Human Potential, People Pleaser, Personal Boundaries, Podcast Episode, Relationships, rescuer Tagged With: honoring yourself, How do I honor my personal boundaries?, How do I stand up for myself?, People keep walking all over me, People take advantage of me, personal boundaries

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