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Emotional Intelligence for Critical Thinkers

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Why you’re not getting a second chance

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Why you’re not getting a second chance
Why you’re not getting a second chance
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Why you’re not getting a second chance
May 17, 2020

When you get a second chance at a job, relationship, or anything that you wanted a do-over on, what’s the best way to show up?

Do you try to impress and show others how much you’ve changed? Or does that actually work against you?

Filed Under: Behavior, Podcast Episode, Relationships, Toxic Behavior Tagged With: How do I get a second chance?, I hope I get a second chance, Will I get a second chance?

Happiness dissolves when you don’t let other people know what your boundaries are

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What does it take to honor your boundaries and live from that authentic place inside you? Do you earn the respect you deserve?

You might be surprised to find out that respect from others happens naturally when you honor yourself and your personal boundaries. Doing this shows the world who you really are, and what behavior is okay, and what is not.

You are worthy and deserve respect. Honoring yourself shows the world the type of behavior you will and won’t accept, improving your relationships and keeping you not only happier, but sane!

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Behavior, Blog article, Communication, Healthy Thinking, Human Potential, Identity, Negative Emotions, People Pleaser, Personal Boundaries, Relationships Tagged With: How can I honor my boundaries?, People keep disrespecting me, What are personal boundaries?

Judgment – The Ultimate Relationship Destroyer

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Judgment can be one of the most damaging weapons in a relationship. It tells your partner that it’s not okay to be themselves.

This builds resentment in them and will eventually corrode even the most intimate relationships. Even if your relationship survives the corrosive effect of judgment, it still suffers.

This article explains how your emotional triggers form your judgments and how judging those closest to you can make you and everyone else around you miserable.

Judgment truly is the ultimate relationship destroyer. [Read more…]

Filed Under: abuse, Behavior, Beliefs, childhood, Control, Dysfunction, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Triggers, Emotional Withdrawal, Guilt, Judgment, Manipulation, Marriage, Negative Emotions, Relationships Tagged With: how to stop judging, Husband is so critical of me, judging in marriage, judging in relationship, judging my wife, Partner is always criticizing me

The Dramatic Victim Doesn’t Want Change

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Have you ever met someone who complained about their circumstances but wasn’t willing to do anything to change them?  

In fact, if you were to suggest a possible solution to them, they would come up with an excuse or valid-sounding reason for why your suggestion wouldn’t work. And the more you tried to help, the more flaws they’d find in your logic.

The hard truth is that some people don’t want to change, nor do they want others around them to help them change. People like this refuse to acknowledge the role they play in their misery and often blame others for their suffering.

If you are intertwined with someone like this, you might have to be careful that you are not helping to enable this behavior. This type of person may find comfort in your attention to their misery. And as long as they are getting their needs met, they may not mind if you become miserable along with them as you try to help them.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Behavior, Control, enabling, Human Potential, Negative Emotions, Relationships, Toxic Behavior, Victim Mentality Tagged With: Dealing with the victim mentality, How to deal with the chronic complainer, Some people are so dramatic

My Healing Journey from Being an Emotional Abuser

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Emotional abuse is the ultimate brainwashing technique. It often hides in the form of feigned helplessness, generosity, compassion, and love. The perpetrator knows how to appear kind and caring while intertwining abusive behavior, causing the person on the receiving end to become powerless.

Emotional abuse is a method of controlling, manipulating, belittling, and invalidating a person over time. It is often hard to spot in the moment as it can be seen as benign or even “normal” to most observers.

But as this behavior is repeated time and time again, the insidious compound effect of this form of hidden abuse causes its victims to lose confidence in themselves, stop trusting in their own decisions, feel devalued and unimportant, and blame themselves for being the cause of, and sometimes even deserving, of the abusive behavior.

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    [Read more…]

    Filed Under: Abandonment, Blog article, Divorce, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Healing, Emotional Withdrawal, Empathy, Judgment, Manipulation, Marriage, Narcissism, Relationships, Toxic Behavior, Toxic Thinking Tagged With: Am I emotionally abusive?, Can the emotional abuser change?, how do I stop being emotionally abusive?

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