Emotional Intelligence for Critical Thinkers
Relationships end, unfortunately. But sometimes what you think is the hardest part (the breakup) turns out to be tame compared to what follows.
Your ex may not want it to end so they do things that make you uncomfortable. Or, the one you “dumped” is still friends with your friends and family, so the ties are harder to break and the distance harder to attain.
What do you do when this kind of stuff happens? I address a couple of emails asking these very questions on today’s episode.
After I met my girlfriend, I took a long drive from New Hampshire to Georgia, where she lived. I stayed for a month then drove back home. Fortunately, I timed my drive so that when I return I’d miss a major snow storm.
On the way home, I stopped at a rest area to take a break. While sitting in my truck, I saw this old red sedan pull up. The driver had his head stretched forward over his steering wheel peering into my truck trying to make eye contact with me.
My first thought was to lock my doors. I thought, “Is this guy going to rob me?”
When you have negative thoughts and emotions floating around in your head more often than not, the choices you make going forward in life are going to be influenced.
After all, whatever is swimming around in your head at the time of a decision is what typically affects that decision. If you are carrying around old baggage, it’s time to drop those emotional bags off so that you can create a future without fears or worry. [Read more…]
Codependence is when two or more people fulfill a need for each other that strengthens a dysfunction between them.
You’ll often see this kind of dynamic between several different types of people:
There are many more types and they all have a complimentary nature to them. Recognizing them is usually fairly easy as well. Just look for someone who seems to give a lot to the relationship but never receives enough. Toxic relationships such as this almost always build resentment because the giver becomes tired of always trying to satisfy the needs of the taker.
It’s the perfect imbalance of love and energy.
No matter what type of codependent relationship it is, the theme is usually the same: The dysfunctional behavior of one person supports the dysfunctional behavior of another.
Important: If you believe that you may be doing emotionally abusive behavior and would like to change that about yourself, sign up for the life-changing Healed Being program over at healedbeing.com).
If you are currently in a relationship with someone who is codependent and is hurtful to you, listen to my podcast Love and Abuse to help you navigate through the difficulties.
There are true victims in the world, then there are chronic complainers who keep themselves in a victimized state closing the door to progress, healing and growth.
It could have started in childhood or sprung up when they were older, but those who have a victim mentality know one thing for sure: Nothing ever works out for them.
This belief system keeps them in a rut and prevents them from seeing options that could be right in front of them.
Are you or someone you know a self-perpetuating victim?
[Read more…]