The Overwhelmed Brain

Emotional Intelligence for Critical Thinkers

Judgment – The Ultimate Relationship Destroyer

Judgment can be one of the most damaging weapons in a relationship. It tells your partner that it’s not okay to be themselves.

This builds resentment in them and will eventually corrode even the most intimate relationships. Even if your relationship survives the corrosive effect of judgment, it still suffers.

This article explains how your emotional triggers form your judgments and how judging those closest to you can make you and everyone else around you miserable.

Judgment truly is the ultimate relationship destroyer. [Read more…]

The Dramatic Victim Doesn’t Want Change

Have you ever met someone who complained about their circumstances but wasn’t willing to do anything to change them?  

In fact, if you were to suggest a possible solution to them, they would come up with an excuse or valid sounding reason on why your suggestion wouldn’t work. And the more you tried to help, the more flaws they’d find in your logic. 

The hard truth is that some people don’t want to change nor do they want others around them to help them change. People like this refuse to acknowledge the role they play in their misery and often blame others for their suffering. 

If you are intertwined with someone like this, you might have to be careful that you are not helping to enable this behavior. This type of person may find comfort in your attention to their misery. And as long as they are getting their needs met, they may not mind if you become miserable along with them as you try to help them.

[Read more…]

8 Steps to Becoming the Ultimate People-Pleaser

If you find yourself people-pleasing for love, attention, or fear of confrontation, then this is article is for you.

As a former people-pleaser myself, I’ve learned exactly what it takes to become very proficient at it. I’ve gained much wisdom since growing out of that phase of my life, so I thought I’d share with you my tips on how to become the best people-pleaser possible.

Of course, if you are already a people-pleaser, you may gain some extra skills reading this article.

Are you ready? Here are :

[Read more…]

Are you enabling the bad behavior of other people?

Do you enable behavior that you don’t like? Is it possible that the people that cause you stress do so because you are allowing it in some way?

This episode covers a very important topic that may help you get your power back if you adopt and apply the message.

For more on enabling bad behavior, be sure to tune into the Love and Abuse podcast. 

Can You Make Peace with Your Cravings?

I was chatting with a client recently and told her that over the weekend, I drank a soda. This may not be a shock to you, but it was for me because I haven’t had a soda in about twenty years.

I was at a horse farm with my girlfriend enjoying some time away from home, and this craving came over me. I really, really wanted a soda.

Every time I’ve tried to drink soda in the past (after I quit soft drinks), I got an instant headache. This was a blessing when I was getting off my soft drink addiction because it made the cravings a lot easier to reject.

[Read more…]