Emotional Intelligence for Critical Thinkers
What do you do when you’re partner does something you don’t like? Do you stay focused on their behavior and try to make them change it? Or do you shift your focus on what you can control and do what you can for yourself so that your partner can no longer use the excuse that you’re giving them a hard time?
Jealousy, self-worth, and self-esteem make an appearance in this episode. Sometimes the people we love do things we hate.
Have you ever tried to tell someone they were doing something you don’t like, or that they were just outright wrong, but they turned it around on you and put you on the defense?
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One night my girlfriend asked me to grab her lip balm before crawling into bed. I looked around, but couldn’t find where she asked me to look.
She got a little annoyed. I don’t know if she was annoyed that it wasn’t there, or annoyed at me because she thought I missed it. I asked her where else it might be.
She directed me to the bathroom. I looked around but still didn’t see it. She said emphatically, “It should be right there against the wall.”
I looked again… Nothing. So like a good boyfriend, I started searching for it elsewhere.
She told me to give up on my search. She said, “Don’t worry about it. If you can’t find it, I’ll go without.” But that old people-pleaser behavior in me dusted itself off and kicked in to gear. And in that moment, I made it my mission to find it.
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Silence can be golden, but in a relationship, it can lead to a slow death. It’s crucial to understand how damaging withdrawing love and attention can be.
Over time, with ongoing neglect, love can dissolve to the point of no return.
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Trying to find happiness is hard enough, but trying to do it when other people are in your life (or are interfering with your life) is even harder.
The first email I read on this episode is from someone who has a problem with his girlfriend smoking pot. He wants the relationship, but not the pot.
The second email dives into how deeply religious parents might want to continue controlling you even after you leave the nest. This episode is all about finding your true path and making the decision to follow it.
