The Overwhelmed Brain

Emotional Intelligence for Critical Thinkers

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Don’t Want You in My Mind – Spouse’s Parents Don’t Like Me – Most Important Relationship Lessons – Standing in Other’s Shoes

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Don’t Want You in My Mind – Spouse’s Parents Don’t Like Me – Most Important Relationship Lessons – Standing in Other’s Shoes
Don’t Want You in My Mind – Spouse’s Parents Don’t Like Me – Most Important Relationship Lessons – Standing in Other’s Shoes
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Don’t Want You in My Mind – Spouse’s Parents Don’t Like Me – Most Important Relationship Lessons – Standing in Other’s Shoes
April 23, 2017

What is it with pervasive thoughts about people you don’t particularly care about? You already don’t want to see them in person, so how do you keep them from appearing in your mind?

In segment one of today’s show, I read a letter from a woman who can’t get her husband’s ex-wife out of her mind. How do you get rid of consistent, unwelcome thoughts like this?

How can you finally rid yourself of that one persistent thought in your mind’s eye? I have a few suggestions.  

[Read more…]

Filed Under: abuse, Ask Paul, Beliefs, Compassion, Control, Divorce, Dysfunction, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Withdrawal, Family, Human Potential, Judgment, Manipulation, Marriage, Negative Emotions, Podcast Episode, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Self-Worth, Thinking, Toxic People Tagged With: Don't Want You in My Mind, Most Important Relationship Lessons, Spouse's Parents Don't Like Me, Standing in Other's Shoes

Suicidal Thoughts – You’re Not Alone – The Big Picture in Relationships – Taking Time to Heal Loneliness

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Suicidal Thoughts – You’re Not Alone – The Big Picture in Relationships – Taking Time to Heal Loneliness
Suicidal Thoughts – You’re Not Alone – The Big Picture in Relationships – Taking Time to Heal Loneliness
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Suicidal Thoughts – You’re Not Alone – The Big Picture in Relationships – Taking Time to Heal Loneliness
April 9, 2017

Many people walk around in darkness believing that the only way out is to kill themselves. I don’t believe that. In fact, I think suicide takes away choice which may feel more imprisoning than thinking you have no choice in the first place.

Having more choices is the goal, not taking them away. I talk about considering suicide in this first segment and also wrote an article on it right here. [Read more…]

Filed Under: anxiety, Control, Depression, Divorce, Loneliness, Marriage, Relationships, Suicide Tagged With: suicidal thoughts, Taking Time to Heal Loneliness, The Big Picture in Relationships, You're Not Alone

What are Guilt and Shame – Fearing Rejection and Abandonment – Solving All Your Problems

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What are Guilt and Shame – Fearing Rejection and Abandonment – Solving All Your Problems
What are Guilt and Shame – Fearing Rejection and Abandonment – Solving All Your Problems
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What are Guilt and Shame – Fearing Rejection and Abandonment – Solving All Your Problems
April 16, 2017

Guilt and shame are two battles in two different dimensions: Internal and external.

Internally, you can feel guilt for something you’ve said or done. Externally, you can feel shame by being the recipient of other people’s judging and blaming.

In this episode, a listener asks me the difference between the two so I do my best to explain how I see it.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Abandonment, Ask Paul, Dysfunction, Fears, Guilt, Human Potential, Loneliness, Loss, Manipulation, Marriage, Negative Emotions, Podcast Episode, Regret, Rejection, Relationships, Shame Tagged With: Fearing Rejection and Abandonment, Solving All Your Problems, What are Guilt and Shame

Emotionally Needy People – Tapping into your Foundation – I Didn’t Ask For Your Advice – Fighting Desires

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Emotionally Needy People – Tapping into your Foundation – I Didn’t Ask For Your Advice – Fighting Desires
Emotionally Needy People – Tapping into your Foundation – I Didn’t Ask For Your Advice – Fighting Desires
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Emotionally Needy People – Tapping into your Foundation – I Didn’t Ask For Your Advice – Fighting Desires
April 2, 2017

What if you’re in a relationship where you need an emotional connection from someone else but they don’t seem to be in the same space as you? 

Sometimes the one you love will come home after a long day and you just want to shower them with love, but they don’t seem to want to shower you back.

Is there something wrong with them? Is there something dysfunctional about you?

If you are in a loving, supportive relationship, but can’t seem to connect to your partner, the first segment of this episode will help you sort out what might be going on.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Ask Paul, Desires, Dysfunction, Emotional Withdrawal, Human Potential, Loneliness, Marriage, Obsession, Relationships Tagged With: Emotionally Needy People, Fighting Desires, I Didn't Ask For Your Advice, Tapping into your Foundation

Failing the Challenge – Silent Abuse in Relationships – Depressed and Unmotivated – Appreciating What Works

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Failing the Challenge – Silent Abuse in Relationships – Depressed and Unmotivated – Appreciating What Works
Failing the Challenge – Silent Abuse in Relationships – Depressed and Unmotivated – Appreciating What Works
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Failing the Challenge – Silent Abuse in Relationships – Depressed and Unmotivated – Appreciating What Works
March 26, 2017

What do you do when you have to face a challenge that you believe you’re prepared for, but fail instead?

The feelings of failure can be debilitating, especially when you’ve spent a lot of time and energy working on self-improvement. It can feel like you’ve taken 10 steps backward. Learning comes with the challenge of applying what you’ve learned, so expect challenges to be just more than you think you’re prepared for.

When you have the tools, the challenge will come.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: abuse, Ask Paul, Control, Depression, Dysfunction, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Withdrawal, Human Potential, Manipulation, Negative Emotions, Overwhelm, Physical Health, Podcast Episode, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Self-Worth, Toxic People Tagged With: Appreciating Your Body, Depressed and Unmotivated, Emotional Abuse, Failing Challenges, Silent Abuse, verbal abuse

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