The Overwhelmed Brain

Emotional Intelligence for Critical Thinkers

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Weaning Off Toxic People

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What if the person you’re with is toxic, but you have a belief that they are the best you can get?

What if you’re stuck in a relationship you don’t like, but stick around anyway because you think you’ll never find anything better, so what’s the point?

[Read more…]

Filed Under: abuse, Behavior, Control, Emotional Abuse, Family, Negative Emotions, Personal Boundaries, Relationships, Toxic Behavior, Toxic People Tagged With: How to get away from toxic people, Toxic People, Toxic Relationships, Unhealthy Marriage

The Bad First Impression – Living with Debilitating Pain – Fear of Doing What’s Right For You

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The Bad First Impression – Living with Debilitating Pain – Fear of Doing Whats Right For You
The Bad First Impression – Living with Debilitating Pain – Fear of Doing Whats Right For You
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The Bad First Impression – Living with Debilitating Pain – Fear of Doing Whats Right For You
September 4, 2016

Making a bad first impression is not necessarily your fault. You could be well dressed, have a great hair day, have good breath, and even have the best personality, but that mole behind your ear makes them think of their mean uncle and suddenly, their first impression of you is that you aren’t trustworthy and maybe even harmful.

That’s quite a jump in logic but it does happen. In the first segment of this episode, I talk about the first impression a listener got with this show and how he criticized every episode I’ve ever created by listening to one 15-minute segment in a single episode.

What do you do when that one person criticizes you or your work? How do you block or avoid the emotional pain behind such a thing?

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Ask Paul, Behavior, Human Potential, Negative Emotions, Physical Health, Podcast Episode, Shame, Thinking, Toxic People Tagged With: Dealing with criticism, embarrassment, Fear of Doing Whats Right For You, Living with Debilitating Pain, The Bad First Impression

Staying In The Rut with “Yeah, But…”

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I think about some of the friends I’ve had in my life and wonder what happened to my “Yeah, but…” friends.

They were goodhearted people that would do anything for me, but couldn’t shut off their excuse machine. No matter what I said to them, Yeah, But was their answer. And they couldn’t figure out why nothing ever worked out for them. 

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Behavior, Beliefs, Communication, Negative Emotions Tagged With: I don't know how to succeed, I fail at everything, i'll try

The Yeah But Mentality – Life After Abuse – Rejecting Former Friends

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The Yeah But Mentality – Life After Abuse – Rejecting Former Friends
The Yeah But Mentality – Life After Abuse – Rejecting Former Friends
Episode play icon
The Yeah But Mentality – Life After Abuse – Rejecting Former Friends
August 28, 2016

Ever have a friend that said “Yeah But…” to every good suggestion you made? How about when they actually ask for your advice, you give it, but they don’t do it because their excuse machine activates?

There are two types of people I talk about in the first segment: “Yeah, But” people, and “Okay, I’ll Try It” people. Sure, there are millions of other types of people out there, but it’s a good start.

Also, I receive a letter from a woman who decided to remove toxic family members from her life and get away from abuse. She took massive first steps, but what’s next? How can you recover from a life of abuse? How can you get to a place beyond where you can relax and feel good again?

Finally, I read another letting about what it might take to reject people in your life. How about those sensitive people that might be hurt by rejection? Is there a way to get away from those who keep showing up when you don’t want them to? Sounds like a great thing to talk about.

Filed Under: abuse, Behavior, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Withdrawal, Human Potential, Manipulation, Marriage, Narcissism, Podcast Episode, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Self-Worth, Suicide, Toxic People, Victim Mentality Tagged With: Emotional Abuse, Life After Abuse, Rejecting Former Friends, The Yeah But Mentality, verbal abuse

What Makes One Cheat When Their Relationship Is Great?

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Why would you cheat if you’re in love and have a great sex life? It’s not like sex is missing from your life, so what’s the point of going outside the relationship for it?

Sure, perhaps a new body, a new experience, and even newfound pleasures sound appealing, but are those enough to risk flushing your current relationship down the toilet?

I recently received a letter from a woman who cheated on her husband. However, she told me there was nothing wrong in her current relationship. They were madly in love and their sex life was amazing. But, she cheated anyway. Shortly after, she felt awful about it and fessed up to him.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Behavior, Betrayal, Divorce, Emotional Abuse, Family, Infidelity, Manipulation, Marriage, Negative Emotions, Relationships Tagged With: cheaters, cheating, How can I get over the pain of the affair?, I think my spouse is cheating, Infidelity

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