The Overwhelmed Brain

Emotional Intelligence for Critical Thinkers

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When others make you feel small

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When others make you feel small
When others make you feel small
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When others make you feel small
October 20, 2019

Is it possible to argue with love and respect for the other person? What if they can’t but you can?

If you ever feel small or are made to feel inferior after an argument with a loved one, it’s time to learn what to do when it goes too far.

Filed Under: Ask Paul, Communication, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Withdrawal, Family, Insecurity, Marriage, Personal Boundaries, Podcast Episode, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Self-Worth, Toxic People Tagged With: I always feel afraid during arguments, I feel like I can't defend myself, They make me feel small when we argue

When tiny compromises lead to resentments

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When tiny compromises lead to resentments
When tiny compromises lead to resentments
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When tiny compromises lead to resentments
March 3, 2019

Do you make small compromises with the people you love so that they will like or love you more?

There are two ways to compromise:

One has attached resentments, the other doesn’t.

I’ll give you one guess which method of compromise works better for the relationships in your life.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: anger, Ask Paul, Codependency, Connection, Dysfunction, Emotional Triggers, Emotional Withdrawal, Intimacy, Loneliness, Marriage, Negative Emotions, Podcast Episode, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Self-Worth Tagged With: building resentment in your relationship, Compromising for others, When tiny compromises lead to resentments

Making difficult and sometimes painful decisions that almost always improve your life

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Making difficult and sometimes painful decisions that almost always improve your life
Making difficult and sometimes painful decisions that almost always improve your life
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Making difficult and sometimes painful decisions that almost always improve your life
September 1, 2019

The key to long-lasting happiness and fulfillment is about ten percent luck and ninety percent of what I talk about in today’s episode.

If you struggle in your relationships, your job, or life in general, you may be sabotaging your own path to success. Start making decisions based on what’s most important to you instead of from a fear of the consequences and you’ll end up with a vastly different reality.

Filed Under: Ask Paul, Decisions, Desires, Healthy Thinking, Podcast Episode, Values Tagged With: How do I make better decisions?, I sabotage my own happiness, Why doesn't anything work out for me?

How to Make Your Relationship Last Almost Forever

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Do you value what your partner values? If not, you may be in for a rude awakening when they suddenly get upset with you for seemingly no reason.

What’s important to you may not be important to them, and vice versa, but it might be a good idea to make what they value important to you since your relationship’s longevity may depend on it.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: anger, Ask Paul, Divorce, Fears, Marriage, Personal Boundaries, Podcast Episode, Relationships, Values, Vulnerability Tagged With: Valuing your partner's values, what's important to your partner?

Is your compassion killing you? What you think is compassion could be self-destruction

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Is your compassion killing you? What you think is compassion could be self-destruction
Is your compassion killing you? What you think is compassion could be self-destruction
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Is your compassion killing you? What you think is compassion could be self-destruction
April 7, 2019

If you show compassion toward someone who then takes advantage of that compassion, do you back off on being kind, helpful, and accommodating?

Or do you try even harder by showing them even more compassion in hopes they will finally “see the light”?

In order for compassion to work, it has to come from an even deeper place of compassion in you… not for others, but for yourself.

Then, when you are abundant in self-compassion, you will be able to show genuine caring and compassion for others without the drain on you.

To make sure your compassion doesn’t kill you in your relationships, be sure to tune into the Love and Abuse podcast. 

Filed Under: anxiety, Codependency, Compassion, Depression, Dysfunction, Emotional Abuse, enabling, Family, People Pleaser, Personal Boundaries, Podcast Episode, Relationships, rescuer, Toxic Thinking Tagged With: compassion for others, is your compassion killing you?

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