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Emotional Intelligence for Critical Thinkers

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When you don’t know who you are

When you don't know who you are
When you don't know who you are
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When you don't know who you are
September 13, 2020

Have you ever really learned who you are at a deeper level? Sometimes we walk around doing the things we’re supposed to do, but rarely stop to figure out who is doing those things.

In this episode, I read an email from a woman who never got a chance to learn who she is because of narcissistic parents telling her who she is all her life. Now that she’s a wife and mom, she feels lost.

If you’re lost, it’s time to find yourself. 

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Decisions, Family, Identity, Narcissism, Personal Boundaries, Podcast Episode, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Self-Worth, Therapy, Toxic Behavior, Toxic People Tagged With: The meaning of my existence, Trying to figure out who I am, What is the point of existing?

Practicing non-confrontational ways to honor yourself

Practicing non-confrontational ways to honor yourself
Practicing non-confrontational ways to honor yourself
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Practicing non-confrontational ways to honor yourself
August 30, 2020

Sometimes showing up authentically around certain people feels confrontational. One reason for that may be that you’ve never honored yourself in front of them before, so they may not have ever been exposed to you practicing self-respect or self-compassion.

If you’re ready to start being more authentic and letting other people know what’s acceptable and what’s not, you may have to ease them into the new you instead of dropping it on them like a brick. Some people need time to adapt. 

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Communication, Decisions, Guilt, People Pleaser, Personal Boundaries, Podcast Episode, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Self-Worth, Shame, Values Tagged With: Honoring your boundaries without conflict, How do I honor myself without being confrontational?, Is there a way to honor my boundaries without being a jerk?

When others make you feel small

When others make you feel small
When others make you feel small
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When others make you feel small
October 20, 2019

Is it possible to argue with love and respect for the other person? What if they can’t but you can?

If you ever feel small or are made to feel inferior after an argument with a loved one, it’s time to learn what to do when it goes too far.

Filed Under: Ask Paul, Communication, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Withdrawal, Family, Insecurity, Marriage, Personal Boundaries, Podcast Episode, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Self-Worth, Toxic People Tagged With: I always feel afraid during arguments, I feel like I can't defend myself, They make me feel small when we argue

When tiny compromises lead to resentments

When tiny compromises lead to resentments
When tiny compromises lead to resentments
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When tiny compromises lead to resentments
March 3, 2019

Do you make small compromises with the people you love so that they will like or love you more?

There are two ways to compromise:

One has attached resentments, the other doesn’t.

I’ll give you one guess which method of compromise works better for the relationships in your life.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: anger, Ask Paul, Codependency, Connection, Dysfunction, Emotional Triggers, Emotional Withdrawal, Intimacy, Loneliness, Marriage, Negative Emotions, Podcast Episode, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Self-Worth Tagged With: building resentment in your relationship, Compromising for others, When tiny compromises lead to resentments

Jealousy in the relationship

Jealousy in the relationship
Jealousy in the relationship
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Jealousy in the relationship
September 15, 2019

Several major components need to exist in a relationship in order for jealousy to take control. When there’s jealousy between you and your partner, there is almost always a decrease in love and connection, and an increase in unhappiness and anxiety.

It’s time to put jealousy to rest once and for all.

Filed Under: Ask Paul, Divorce, Insecurity, Jealousy, Marriage, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Self-Worth Tagged With: How do I stop being so jealous?, I am so jealous of my partner, They're so jealous about everyone I talk to

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