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Emotional Intelligence for Critical Thinkers

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Practicing non-confrontational ways to honor yourself

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Practicing non-confrontational ways to honor yourself
Practicing non-confrontational ways to honor yourself
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Practicing non-confrontational ways to honor yourself
August 30, 2020

Sometimes showing up authentically around certain people feels confrontational. One reason for that may be that you’ve never honored yourself in front of them before, so they may not have ever been exposed to you practicing self-respect or self-compassion.

If you’re ready to start being more authentic and letting other people know what’s acceptable and what’s not, you may have to ease them into the new you instead of dropping it on them like a brick. Some people need time to adapt. 

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Communication, Decisions, Guilt, People Pleaser, Personal Boundaries, Podcast Episode, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Self-Worth, Shame, Values Tagged With: Honoring your boundaries without conflict, How do I honor myself without being confrontational?, Is there a way to honor my boundaries without being a jerk?

What to do when you’re going nowhere

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What to do when you’re going nowhere
What to do when you’re going nowhere
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What to do when you’re going nowhere
August 23, 2020

If you’re on a road that you believe is never going to end and never going to get better, what do you do? Should you just accept that’s your lot in life and you should just deal with it?

Or do you take a leap of faith in a direction that leads to the unknown in hopes that life will get better? There is always hope, but sometimes it has to be pursued.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: anxiety, Communication, Depression, Dysfunction, Fears, Finding peace, Loneliness, Loss, Marriage, Personal Boundaries, Podcast Episode, Relationships Tagged With: How do I honor my boundaries when everyone is against me?, Why is change so scary?

The risk and reward of standing up for what you know is right

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Standing Up For Yourself Is The Right Thing – Getting Resistance While Honoring Your Boundaries – A Listener Stops Listening and Calls Me Out
Standing Up For Yourself Is The Right Thing – Getting Resistance While Honoring Your Boundaries – A Listener Stops Listening and Calls Me Out
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Standing Up For Yourself Is The Right Thing – Getting Resistance While Honoring Your Boundaries – A Listener Stops Listening and Calls Me Out
January 3, 2016

Taking a stand or protesting an injustice in your life isn’t always about being aggressive. Often, it can be a peaceful objection that helps you move toward honoring yourself.

Sometimes, you have to take a bigger stand, even at the risk of loss. In this article, I read an email from someone who didn’t appreciate my comments from the previous “Take a Stand” episode I created on my podcast. I talk about that and suggest a different approach to conflict resolution. [Read more…]

Filed Under: anger, Communication, Conflict, Finding peace, Podcast Episode, Toxic People Tagged With: Protesting injustice, Taking a stand at the risk of loss

Email grab bag: Purging awkwardness, the perfect partner, lonely and depressed

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Email grab bag: Purging awkwardness, the perfect partner, lonely and depressed
Email grab bag: Purging awkwardness, the perfect partner, lonely and depressed
Episode play icon
Email grab bag: Purging awkwardness, the perfect partner, lonely and depressed
July 5, 2020

I read three emails that dive into awkward feelings when interacting with others, deciding whether to settle for someone who doesn’t know what they want in a relationship, and someone who wrote to me saying that they are lonely and depressed.

Lots of variety makes for a packed show. [Read more…]

Filed Under: anxiety, Ask Paul, Communication, Connection, Depression, Finding peace, Loneliness, Obsession, Podcast Episode, Relationships, Suicide Tagged With: How do I get rid of anxiety?, How do I get rid of feeling awkward in conversations?, Should I want for my partner to change?

Dealing with those passive aggressive, negative, so hard to be around people that you just hope get it one day

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Dealing with those passive aggressive, negative, so hard to be around people that you just hope get it one day
Dealing with those passive aggressive, negative, so hard to be around people that you just hope get it one day
Episode play icon
Dealing with those passive aggressive, negative, so hard to be around people that you just hope get it one day
May 26, 2019

Passive-aggressive behavior is a way to convey anger and upset to someone indirectly. It takes the form of comments that are meant to hurt, but hard to spot as hurtful.

Passive-aggressive comments are forms of poisonous communication that can erode love and connection.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: anger, Communication, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Withdrawal, Judgment, Lying, Manipulation, Podcast Episode Tagged With: Dealing with passive aggressive behavior, How to deal with someone being passive aggressive

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