The Overwhelmed Brain

Emotional Intelligence for Better Relationships

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Escaping the Real World – Kids and the Narcissistic Parent – The Isolation of the Child Sexual Abuse Survivor

Escaping the Real World – Kids and the Narcissistic Parent – The Isolation of the Child Sexual Abuse Survivor
Escaping the Real World – Kids and the Narcissistic Parent – The Isolation of the Child Sexual Abuse Survivor
Episode play icon
Escaping the Real World – Kids and the Narcissistic Parent – The Isolation of the Child Sexual Abuse Survivor
November 26, 2017

Do you fantasize, daydream, play video games or watch TV in hopes that you won’t have to deal with reality?

It’s not all bad but anything in moderation, right? In the first segment of this episode, I talk about the benefits of skipping reality for a little bit as long as you connect with yourself in other ways.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Abandonment, abuse, Ask Paul, childhood, Children, Codependency, Control, Divorce, Dysfunction, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Withdrawal, Family, Human Potential, Lying, Manipulation, Narcissism, Podcast Episode, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Self-Worth, Sex, Shame, Suicide Tagged With: childhood sexual abuse, lost in thought, narcissistic abuse, narcissistic ex

A Near Miss Still Leaves a Mark: The Danger of the Abusive Relationship

I took a trip to visit my family in New Hampshire recently. The trip was both relaxing and enlightening. The relaxation came in the form of sitting with people I knew well enjoying their friendly faces and warm conversation. The enlightening aspect was learning about their past and just how much each of them have been through. 

[Read more…]

Filed Under: abuse, Behavior, Control, Divorce, Dysfunction, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Withdrawal, Family, Manipulation, Marriage, Narcissism, Physical Health, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Self-Worth, Toxic People Tagged With: Dealing with an alcoholic person, domestic violence, Emotional Abuse, near miss

Guilt stops growth – Dad’s new girlfriend – Enabling the freeloader

Guilt stops growth – Dad's new girlfriend – Enabling the freeloader
Guilt stops growth – Dad's new girlfriend – Enabling the freeloader
Episode play icon
Guilt stops growth – Dad's new girlfriend – Enabling the freeloader
October 8, 2017

When you feel guilty for wanting to leave your partner because of their bad behavior, it’s time to transform that guilt into something more productive. Some partner’s set you up to feel guilty so you’ll never leave. This is called emotional abuse and it’s time to put a stop to it.

In segment two, I read a message from a woman who lost her mom. A few months later her dad wanted to be with someone new. His daughter didn’t like that at all and cannot get past that he could possibly do that so soon.

What happens when you lose a parent and the one left behind wants to date again? Can you support them or are you vehemently against it?

[Read more…]

Filed Under: anger, Ask Paul, Codependency, Control, Divorce, Dysfunction, Emotional Abuse, enabling, Family, Forgiveness, Guilt, Marriage, Relationships, Values Tagged With: Do you allow people to take advantage of you?, Does your partner make you feel guilty?, When a parent starts dating "too soon"

Those “think positively” people – Little problems that lead to explosive reactions – What is a toxic person?

Those "think positively" people – Little problems that lead to explosive reactions – What is a toxic person?
Those "think positively" people – Little problems that lead to explosive reactions – What is a toxic person?
Episode play icon
Those "think positively" people – Little problems that lead to explosive reactions – What is a toxic person?
October 1, 2017

If you’re one of those people who repress negativity and put on a smile to hide your upset, you are likely creating negative emotions in your body that will eventually lead to depression. If you aren’t sure what I mean, listen to segment one of today’s episode.

In segment two, I talk about how the little spats in relationships that lead to massive blowups have an origin. The unspoken words are what cause those big explosions. It’s time to connect emotionally rather than logically to diffuse the emotional bombs before they explode.

For segment three, I answer the question: What is toxic? Do we call people toxic just to avoid our own personal growth? A listener challenges me on the topic.

Filed Under: abuse, anger, anxiety, Ask Paul, Control, Depression, Dysfunction, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Withdrawal, Family, Human Potential, Marriage, Negative Emotions, Overwhelm, Physical Health, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Self-Worth, Thinking, Toxic People, Victim Mentality Tagged With: Little problems that lead to explosive reactions, Those "think positively" people, What is a toxic person?

The no-win conversation – Lashing out at others – Blame the cheater not yourself

The no-win conversation – Lashing out at others – Blame the cheater not yourself
The no-win conversation – Lashing out at others – Blame the cheater not yourself
Episode play icon
The no-win conversation – Lashing out at others – Blame the cheater not yourself
September 10, 2017

Does your partner corner you into a no-win situation? Do they ask you questions that make you wrong no matter what you say?

In the first segment, I talk about double binds in relationships and a couple of ways to get out of the no-win questioning that often happens in both non-abusive and abusive relationships.

For segment 2, I discuss lashing out and where it comes from. Are they new emotions that seem to originate in the moment or are they old, stored emotions that derived from a single point in time?

[Read more…]

Filed Under: abuse, anger, Ask Paul, Betrayal, Control, Divorce, Dysfunction, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Withdrawal, Family, Human Potential, Infidelity, Lying, Manipulation, Marriage, Narcissism, Podcast Episode, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Self-Worth, Sex, Toxic People Tagged With: Blame the cheater not yourself, Lashing out at others, The no-win conversation

Reconnecting With Family As The New You

One of the hardest steps to take after any level of personal growth and development is introducing the new you to those who know you best:

Family

I stayed out of touch with my father for 10 years(!) until I heard that he was dying. 10 years previous to that, I made the choice to stay away from him because our conversations never really seemed to be about how much he missed me and wanted to spend time with me, they’d almost always end with him asking me for money.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: childhood, Dysfunction, Family, Fears, Identity, Personal Boundaries, Relationships Tagged With: Reconnecting With Family As The New You

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