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Emotional Intelligence for Critical Thinkers

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Is your compassion killing you? What you think is compassion could be self-destruction

Is your compassion killing you? What you think is compassion could be self-destruction
Is your compassion killing you? What you think is compassion could be self-destruction
Episode play icon
Is your compassion killing you? What you think is compassion could be self-destruction
April 7, 2019

If you show compassion toward someone who then takes advantage of that compassion, do you back off on being kind, helpful, and accommodating?

Or do you try even harder by showing them even more compassion in hopes they will finally “see the light”?

In order for compassion to work, it has to come from an even deeper place of compassion in you… not for others, but for yourself.

Then, when you are abundant in self-compassion, you will be able to show genuine caring and compassion for others without the drain on you.

To make sure your compassion doesn’t kill you in your relationships, be sure to tune into the Love and Abuse podcast. 

Filed Under: anxiety, Codependency, Compassion, Depression, Dysfunction, Emotional Abuse, enabling, Family, People Pleaser, Personal Boundaries, Podcast Episode, Relationships, rescuer, Toxic Thinking Tagged With: compassion for others, is your compassion killing you?

8 Steps to Becoming the Ultimate People-Pleaser

If you find yourself people-pleasing for love, attention, or fear of confrontation, then this is article is for you.

As a former people-pleaser myself, I’ve learned exactly what it takes to become very proficient at it. I’ve gained much wisdom since growing out of that phase of my life, so I thought I’d share with you my tips on how to become the best people-pleaser possible.

Of course, if you are already a people-pleaser, you may gain some extra skills reading this article.

Are you ready? Here are the eight steps to becoming the ultimate people-pleaser:

[Read more…]

Filed Under: anger, Behavior, Codependency, Depression, Dysfunction, enabling, Family, Insecurity, Negative Emotions, People Pleaser, Personal Boundaries, Podcast Episode, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Self-Worth, Toxic Behavior Tagged With: How do I stop people pleasing?, Is people pleasing bad?, What is people pleasing?

Is it ever okay to release toxic family?

I received an email from someone who was very angry with me. She said “You should be ashamed of yourself for teaching that it is okay to break ties with family!“

She was referencing an episode I did on toxic family members and how I said if they are too toxic to be around that it’s okay to part ways with them.  [Read more…]

Filed Under: abuse, anger, Codependency, Control, Dysfunction, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Healing, enabling, Family, Narcissism, Personal Boundaries, Relationships, Toxic Behavior, Toxic People Tagged With: Is it ever okay to release toxic family?, letting go of toxic family, Releasing toxic family members

How family drama can teach you a lot about personal boundaries

How family drama can teach you a lot about personal boundaries
How family drama can teach you a lot about personal boundaries
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How family drama can teach you a lot about personal boundaries
February 10, 2019

When your family has dysfunction, family gatherings can be quite a challenge. What do you do in the midst of family drama?

Do you recoil and transform into the old, pre-personally-developed you? Or do you stand firm in who you are today and love them with your healthy boundaries intact?

Family is the final frontier of personal growth. You don’t want to miss this episode.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Ask Paul, Dysfunction, Family, Personal Boundaries, Toxic People, Values Tagged With: Do you stand firm with family?, Family drama can teach you a lot about personal boundaries, When the family gathering turns into the Jerry Springer show

Are you enabling the bad behavior of other people?

Are you enabling the bad behavior of other people?
Are you enabling the bad behavior of other people?
Episode play icon
Are you enabling the bad behavior of other people?
October 21, 2018

Do you enable behavior that you don’t like? Is it possible that the people that cause you stress do so because you are allowing it in some way?

This episode covers a very important topic that may help you get your power back if you adopt and apply the message.

For more on enabling bad behavior, be sure to tune into the Love and Abuse podcast. 

Filed Under: abuse, anger, Behavior, Betrayal, Codependency, Communication, Control, Dysfunction, Emotional Abuse, enabling, Family, Manipulation, Negative Emotions, Podcast Episode, Relationships, Toxic Behavior Tagged With: Are you enabling bad behavior?, When people mistreat you

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