The Overwhelmed Brain

Emotional Intelligence for Better Relationships

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Feeling Unworthy by Comparison – Your Partner’s Controlling Parent – Breakdown of Narcissism – Recycling Dysfunction

Feeling Unworthy by Comparison – Your Partner's Controlling Parent – Breakdown of Narcissism – Recycling Dysfunction
Feeling Unworthy by Comparison – Your Partner's Controlling Parent – Breakdown of Narcissism – Recycling Dysfunction
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Feeling Unworthy by Comparison – Your Partner's Controlling Parent – Breakdown of Narcissism – Recycling Dysfunction
July 9, 2017

Comparing yourself to other people is the fastest way to low self-worth and low self-esteem.

Why do we always compare ourselves to people that are better looking, wealthier, healthier, and have more success in areas of life that we are still working on? It seems like a black hole of misery that will never end.

In segment one, I talk about one of my good friends who is self-employed and wondering why she isn’t succeeding after a few months of what I see has been a very successful time for her. She is comparing her success to those that have been in the business for a long time and that comparison is making her feel down.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: abuse, Ask Paul, Career, Control, Dysfunction, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Withdrawal, Family, Marriage, Narcissism, Negative Emotions, Podcast Episode, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Self-Worth, Toxic People Tagged With: Breakdown of Narcissism, Feeling Unworthy by Comparison, Recycling Dysfunction, Your Partner's Controlling Parent

Rekindling with toxic family – The long-term results of honoring yourself – Even the victim plays a role – Contact or no contact your ex

Rekindling with toxic family – The long-term results of honoring yourself – Even the victim plays a role – Contact or no contact your ex
Rekindling with toxic family – The long-term results of honoring yourself – Even the victim plays a role – Contact or no contact your ex
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Rekindling with toxic family – The long-term results of honoring yourself – Even the victim plays a role – Contact or no contact your ex
June 18, 2017

How do you go about rekindling with toxic and/or dysfunctional family members? Is it worth “going home” and starting up those old, dysfunctional, family get-togethers again?

Is it possible to avoid the toxicity of a dysfunctional family past? There is a way to return to a toxic family environment but it’s going to take some courage to be the person you want to be with the people that have always known you the way you were. I talk about that and more in segment one.In segment two I read a message from someone who shares what it’s like honoring yourself. Joshua says that he’s been taking steps to stand up for himself and express his truths to people that he never has before. He is showing up as that authentic person he’s always wanted to be and things are happening for him in a way that never has.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: abuse, childhood, Children, Control, Decisions, Depression, Desires, Divorce, Dysfunction, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Withdrawal, enabling, Family, Human Potential, Loneliness, Manipulation, Marriage, Narcissism, Personal Boundaries, Podcast Episode, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Self-Worth, Toxic People, Victim Mentality Tagged With: Contact or no contact your ex, Emotional Abuse, Even the victim plays a role, Rekindling with toxic family, The long-term results of honoring yourself, verbal abuse

Don’t Want You in My Mind – Spouse’s Parents Don’t Like Me – Most Important Relationship Lessons – Standing in Other’s Shoes

Don't Want You in My Mind – Spouse's Parents Don't Like Me – Most Important Relationship Lessons – Standing in Other's Shoes
Don't Want You in My Mind – Spouse's Parents Don't Like Me – Most Important Relationship Lessons – Standing in Other's Shoes
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Don't Want You in My Mind – Spouse's Parents Don't Like Me – Most Important Relationship Lessons – Standing in Other's Shoes
April 23, 2017

What is it with pervasive thoughts about people you don’t particularly care about? You already don’t want to see them in person, so how do you keep them from appearing in your mind?

In segment one of today’s show, I read a letter from a woman who can’t get her husband’s ex-wife out of her mind. How do you get rid of consistent, unwelcome thoughts like this?

How can you finally rid yourself of that one persistent thought in your mind’s eye? I have a few suggestions.   [Read more…]

Filed Under: abuse, Ask Paul, Beliefs, Compassion, Control, Divorce, Dysfunction, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Withdrawal, Family, Human Potential, Judgment, Manipulation, Marriage, Negative Emotions, Podcast Episode, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Self-Worth, Thinking, Toxic People Tagged With: Don't Want You in My Mind, Most Important Relationship Lessons, Spouse's Parents Don't Like Me, Standing in Other's Shoes

What are Guilt and Shame – Fearing Rejection and Abandonment – Solving All Your Problems

What are Guilt and Shame – Fearing Rejection and Abandonment – Solving All Your Problems
What are Guilt and Shame – Fearing Rejection and Abandonment – Solving All Your Problems
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What are Guilt and Shame – Fearing Rejection and Abandonment – Solving All Your Problems
April 16, 2017

Guilt and shame are two battles in two different dimensions: Internal and external.

Internally, you can feel guilt for something you’ve said or done. Externally, you can feel shame by being the recipient of other people’s judging and blaming.

In this episode, a listener asks me the difference between the two so I do my best to explain how I see it.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Abandonment, Ask Paul, Dysfunction, Fears, Guilt, Human Potential, Loneliness, Loss, Manipulation, Marriage, Negative Emotions, Podcast Episode, Regret, Rejection, Relationships, Shame Tagged With: Fearing Rejection and Abandonment, Solving All Your Problems, What are Guilt and Shame

Emotionally Needy People – Tapping into your Foundation – I Didn’t Ask For Your Advice – Fighting Desires

Emotionally Needy People – Tapping into your Foundation – I Didn't Ask For Your Advice – Fighting Desires
Emotionally Needy People – Tapping into your Foundation – I Didn't Ask For Your Advice – Fighting Desires
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Emotionally Needy People – Tapping into your Foundation – I Didn't Ask For Your Advice – Fighting Desires
April 2, 2017

What if you’re in a relationship where you need an emotional connection from someone else but they don’t seem to be in the same space as you? 

Sometimes the one you love will come home after a long day and you just want to shower them with love, but they don’t seem to want to shower you back.

Is there something wrong with them? Is there something dysfunctional about you?

If you are in a loving, supportive relationship, but can’t seem to connect to your partner, the first segment of this episode will help you sort out what might be going on.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Ask Paul, Desires, Dysfunction, Emotional Withdrawal, Human Potential, Loneliness, Marriage, Obsession, Relationships Tagged With: Emotionally Needy People, Fighting Desires, I Didn't Ask For Your Advice, Tapping into your Foundation

Failing the Challenge – Silent Abuse in Relationships – Depressed and Unmotivated – Appreciating What Works

Failing the Challenge – Silent Abuse in Relationships – Depressed and Unmotivated – Appreciating What Works
Failing the Challenge – Silent Abuse in Relationships – Depressed and Unmotivated – Appreciating What Works
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Failing the Challenge – Silent Abuse in Relationships – Depressed and Unmotivated – Appreciating What Works
March 26, 2017

What do you do when you have to face a challenge that you believe you’re prepared for, but fail instead?

The feelings of failure can be debilitating, especially when you’ve spent a lot of time and energy working on self-improvement. It can feel like you’ve taken 10 steps backward. Learning comes with the challenge of applying what you’ve learned, so expect challenges to be just more than you think you’re prepared for.

When you have the tools, the challenge will come.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: abuse, Ask Paul, Control, Depression, Dysfunction, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Withdrawal, Human Potential, Manipulation, Negative Emotions, Overwhelm, Physical Health, Podcast Episode, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Self-Worth, Toxic People Tagged With: Appreciating Your Body, Depressed and Unmotivated, Emotional Abuse, Failing Challenges, Silent Abuse, verbal abuse

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