The Overwhelmed Brain

Emotional Intelligence for Critical Thinkers

Eliminating Negative Memories – The Yin Yang of Masculine and Feminine – Emotional Detachment

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Eliminating Negative Memories, the Yin Yang of Masculine and Feminine, and Emotional Detachment
Eliminating Negative Memories, the Yin Yang of Masculine and Feminine, and Emotional Detachment
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Eliminating Negative Memories, the Yin Yang of Masculine and Feminine, and Emotional Detachment
November 8, 2015

Segment one: Our emotions are attached to our memories. Our memories are attached to people and stuff. It’s that stuff that we hold on to that sometimes makes us feel bad, so why do we still have it in our lives? Pictures are a great example of this. Why keep pictures that make you feel bad?

Segment two: In any relationship, the role of masculine is typically played by one person and the role of the feminine is played by the other. The problem occurs when one person likes the role they’re in and the other doesn’t. Knowing your role and what best works for the relationship will create a harmonious get-together as opposed to one of conflict.

Segment three: In this final segment, I talk a bit about detaching from your emotions. Being emotionally detached can make your partner think that you don’t love them which can be one of the worst feelings in the world.

Stop anxiety when it starts with The S.A.F.E. Empowerment System

Getting the Big Picture in Arguments – Honoring Personal Boundaries with Parents – Creating the Life You Want

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Getting the Big Picture in Arguments, Honoring Personal Boundaries with Parents, and Creating the Life You Want
Getting the Big Picture in Arguments, Honoring Personal Boundaries with Parents, and Creating the Life You Want
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Getting the Big Picture in Arguments, Honoring Personal Boundaries with Parents, and Creating the Life You Want
November 1, 2015

Segment one: Stepping out of the details so that you can see a bigger picture is one of the best ways to end an argument. When you “chunk up” into a broader perspective instead of staying “chunked down” and embroiled in the details, you’re able to step out of all the negative emotional energy about the situation.

Segment two: A listener who just graduated college wrote and asked about honoring his personal boundaries with his parents and how to get along with a particular family member who doesn’t seem to like him.

Segment Three: I talk about what it really means to “create the life you want.” If you’ve had trouble doing that up to now, this is the segment for you.

The 10 Components of a Satisfying, Loving Relationship – Part 1

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focus on others whats right for you tony robbins

There are probably hundreds of components that make up a great relationship, but I’m going to address some of the ones that make the biggest difference.

Whether a friendship, family, or intimate partner, when you adopt and include these components in your relationships, they will improve. But, just like I mention in the show, things go a lot better when the other people in your relationships also include them too.

When it’s one sided, it doesn’t go too far. But when it works, it can be completely satisfying and enjoyable. [Read more…]

Stop Justifying Your Poisonous Beliefs – The Curse of Denial

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How many times in your life has something happened that was so hard to believe, that it actually hurt to believe it? You know what I mean… it’s that truth you don’t want to hear. It’s like the people who can’t believe the holocaust happened because it was just so atrocious. Or, like the email I got from a woman who found out her husband is cheating on her. It’s very hard to accept a truth that hurts us, but if we don’t, we systematically destroy ourselves.

Denial is the topic for the day.  [Read more…]

Codependency: The Subtle Erosion of Love and Connection

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Codependence is when two or more people fulfill a need for each other that strengthens a dysfunction between them.

You’ll often see this kind of dynamic between several different types of people:

  • The Rescuer and the Addict
  • The People-Pleaser and the Abuser
  • The Highly Sensitive and the Insensitive

There are many more types and they all have a complimentary nature to them. Recognizing them is usually fairly easy as well. Just look for someone who seems to give a lot to the relationship but never receives enough. Toxic relationships such as this almost always build resentment because the giver becomes tired of always trying to satisfy the needs of the taker. 

It’s the perfect imbalance of love and energy.

No matter what type of codependent relationship it is, the theme is usually the same: The dysfunctional behavior of one person supports the dysfunctional behavior of another.

Important: If you believe that you may be doing emotionally abusive behavior and would like to change that about yourself, sign up for the life-changing Healed Being program over at healedbeing.com).

If you are currently in a relationship with someone who is codependent and is hurtful to you, listen to my podcast Love and Abuse to help you navigate through the difficulties.

[Read more…]