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Emotional Intelligence for Critical Thinkers

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Search Results for: people pleasing

Disarming people who disempower you

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Disarming people that disempower you
Disarming people that disempower you
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Disarming people that disempower you
November 1, 2020

In this article, I explore the essential mental tools for effectively dealing with snarky or hurtful individuals. These tools aim to disarm those who seek to emotionally manipulate you, leaving them puzzled when you don’t react as they expect.

Inspired by an email from a listener, I’ll share my own ‘communications toolbox,’ a set of strategies designed to facilitate empowering and non-confrontational conversations with negative people.

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Filed Under: Children, Communication, Divorce, Podcast Episode, Relationships, Toxic Behavior, Toxic People Tagged With: Keep your power with toxic people, talking to the toxic ex, Talking with toxic people

Do people think you’re stubborn for honoring your boundaries?

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Do people think you’re stubborn for honoring your boundaries?
Do people think you’re stubborn for honoring your boundaries?
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Do people think you’re stubborn for honoring your boundaries?
August 9, 2020

Honoring your boundaries isn’t always easy. Some people will think you’re being a jerk or stubborn. Some will even say that you’re changing in a bad way even though it’s good for you.

Get clear on what you will and won’t accept from others and your life will change for the better.

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Filed Under: anxiety, Career, Fears, Insecurity, Negative Emotions, Personal Boundaries, Podcast Episode, Therapy Tagged With: Honoring your boundaries with toxic people, How to honor your personal boundaries

8 Steps to Becoming the Ultimate People-Pleaser

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If you find yourself people-pleasing for love, attention, or fear of confrontation, then this article is for you.

As a former people-pleaser, I’ve learned exactly what it takes to become proficient at it. I’ve gained much wisdom since growing out of that phase of my life, so I thought I’d share with you my tips on how to become the best people-pleaser possible.

Of course, if you are already a people-pleaser, you may gain some extra skills by reading this article.

This article is meant to be tongue-in-cheek but also contains an important reminder about how people-pleasing almost always leads to unhappiness.

Are you ready? Here are the eight steps to becoming the ultimate people-pleaser:

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Filed Under: anger, Behavior, Codependency, Depression, Dysfunction, enabling, Family, Insecurity, Negative Emotions, People Pleaser, Personal Boundaries, Podcast Episode, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Self-Worth, Toxic Behavior Tagged With: How do I stop people pleasing?, Is people pleasing bad?, What is people pleasing?

The Plight of the People-Pleaser

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People-pleasers appear to be very thoughtful. They will do everything they can to make sure those they love (and even those they don’t) are happy.

At first, this sounds like the ideal person to have in your life! After all, if they are set out to make you happy, who could ask for anything more?

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Filed Under: Behavior, Codependency, Dysfunction, Negative Emotions, People Pleaser, Personal Boundaries, Relationships Tagged With: How to stop being a people pleaser, people pleasing, What are people pleasers?, Why is it bad to be a people pleaser?

Practicing non-confrontational ways to honor yourself

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Practicing non-confrontational ways to honor yourself
Practicing non-confrontational ways to honor yourself
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Practicing non-confrontational ways to honor yourself
August 30, 2020

Sometimes showing up authentically around certain people feels confrontational. One reason for that may be that you’ve never honored yourself in front of them before, so they may not have ever been exposed to you practicing self-respect or self-compassion.

If you’re ready to start being more authentic and letting other people know what’s acceptable and what’s not, you may have to ease them into the new you instead of dropping it on them like a brick. Some people need time to adapt. 

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Filed Under: Communication, Decisions, Guilt, People Pleaser, Personal Boundaries, Podcast Episode, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Self-Worth, Shame, Values Tagged With: Honoring your boundaries without conflict, How do I honor myself without being confrontational?, Is there a way to honor my boundaries without being a jerk?

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