The Overwhelmed Brain

Emotional Intelligence for Critical Thinkers

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10 Steps to Keep Your Relationship from Slipping into Dysfunction

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If your relationship has gone through its ups and downs but is now on a good path to prosper, you’ll probably want to keep it that way.

Here are ten steps you can take to make sure your relationship stays healthy and continues to blossom. For more of an in-depth look at each step, listen to the episode attached to this post. 

Important: If you believe that you may be doing emotionally abusive behavior and would like to change that about yourself, sign up for the life-changing Healed Being program over at healedbeing.com).

If you are currently in a relationship with someone whose dysfunctions are hurtful to you, listen to my podcast Love and Abuse to help you navigate through the difficulties.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: abuse, anger, Codependency, Control, Divorce, Dysfunction, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Withdrawal, enabling, Forgiveness, Manipulation, Marriage, Rejection, Relationships, Values Tagged With: Keeping Your Relationship in Top Shape

Guilt stops growth – Dad’s new girlfriend – Enabling the freeloader

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Guilt stops growth – Dad’s new girlfriend – Enabling the freeloader
Guilt stops growth – Dad’s new girlfriend – Enabling the freeloader
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Guilt stops growth – Dad’s new girlfriend – Enabling the freeloader
October 8, 2017

When you feel guilty for wanting to leave your partner because of their bad behavior, it’s time to transform that guilt into something more productive. Some partner’s set you up to feel guilty so you’ll never leave. This is called emotional abuse and it’s time to put a stop to it.

In segment two, I read a message from a woman who lost her mom. A few months later her dad wanted to be with someone new. His daughter didn’t like that at all and cannot get past that he could possibly do that so soon.

What happens when you lose a parent and the one left behind wants to date again? Can you support them or are you vehemently against it?

[Read more…]

Filed Under: anger, Ask Paul, Codependency, Control, Divorce, Dysfunction, Emotional Abuse, enabling, Family, Forgiveness, Guilt, Marriage, Relationships, Values Tagged With: Do you allow people to take advantage of you?, Does your partner make you feel guilty?, When a parent starts dating "too soon"

All those years wasted with your ex – When hope works against you – What’s under the stream of negative emotions

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All those years wasted with your ex – When hope works against you – Under the stream of negative emotions
All those years wasted with your ex – When hope works against you – Under the stream of negative emotions
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All those years wasted with your ex – When hope works against you – Under the stream of negative emotions
June 11, 2017

How can you possibly forget that one ex who “wasted” years of your life? How can you possibly forgive them, either?

In the first segment of this episode, I read a letter from someone who married a big problem and now she is upset at him for “stealing” so many years of her life. She wants to forgive and move on but can’t seem to do it.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Ask Paul, Divorce, Forgiveness, Human Potential, Loneliness, Marriage, Negative Emotions, Podcast Episode, Relationships Tagged With: Wasted a lot of years with my ex, What's under the stream of negative emotions, When hope works against you

Breaking Through Obsessive Thoughts – Is Everyone Toxic? – The Real Issue in the Relationship

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Breaking Through Obsessive Thoughts – Is Everyone Toxic? – The Real Issue in the Relationship
Breaking Through Obsessive Thoughts – Is Everyone Toxic? – The Real Issue in the Relationship
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Breaking Through Obsessive Thoughts – Is Everyone Toxic? – The Real Issue in the Relationship
February 19, 2017

When obsessive and intrusive thoughts won’t go away, what can you do?

You might feel better knowing that won’t mean a thing in a hundred years, but if resolving them isn’t that easy for you, then let me take you through a series of steps that break them apart and repackage them in a way that might just help you deal with yours.

In this segment, I’ll ask you what’s wrong with having obsessive thoughts, why are they a problem, and if there’s anything you can do about what you’re obsessing over. I’ll also talk about your resistance to them and how it causes you to suffer. If you have been suffering from that negative internal dialogue, listen to this episode.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: abuse, Ask Paul, Beliefs, Control, Divorce, Dysfunction, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Withdrawal, Forgiveness, Guilt, Human Potential, Infidelity, Marriage, Negative Emotions, Obsession, Podcast Episode, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Self-Worth, Thinking, Toxic People Tagged With: Breaking Through Obsessive Thoughts, Is Everyone Toxic, She Cheated He Took Her Back

The Emotional Healing Journey – To Express or Not To Express – Focus on Yourself

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The Emotional Healing Journey – To Express or Not To Express – Focus on Yourself
The Emotional Healing Journey – To Express or Not To Express – Focus on Yourself
Episode play icon
The Emotional Healing Journey – To Express or Not To Express – Focus on Yourself
December 18, 2016

The emotional healing journey consists of many ups and downs. A listener asks me how I managed to get through my journey and what I can share with others on what to expect.

Whether you’re starting your healing journey from scratch or still on a hot path of learning, healing, and growing, there’s always more to learn.

I talk about what it takes to honor your boundaries in a healthy way (instead of waiting until you blow up) and recognize patterns in yourself that may point back to emotional wounds from the past.

What are your results over and over again? Are you succeeding in life or failing miserably?

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Behavior, Beliefs, Control, Decisions, Forgiveness, Human Potential, Negative Emotions, Podcast Episode, Relationships, Vulnerability Tagged With: Focus on Yourself, The Emotional Healing Journey, To Express or Not To Express

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