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Emotional Intelligence for Critical Thinkers

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Happiness dissolves when you don’t let other people know what your boundaries are

What does it take to honor your boundaries and live from that authentic place inside you? Do you earn the respect you deserve?

You might be surprised to find out that respect from others happens naturally when you honor yourself and your personal boundaries. Doing this shows the world who you really are, and what behavior is okay, and what is not.

You are worthy and deserve respect. Honoring yourself shows the world the type of behavior you will and won’t accept, improving your relationships and keeping you not only happier, but sane!

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Behavior, Blog article, Communication, Healthy Thinking, Human Potential, Identity, Negative Emotions, People Pleaser, Personal Boundaries, Relationships Tagged With: How can I honor my boundaries?, People keep disrespecting me, What are personal boundaries?

Judgment – The Ultimate Relationship Destroyer

Judgment can be one of the most damaging weapons in a relationship. It tells your partner that it’s not okay to be themselves.

This builds resentment in them and will eventually corrode even the most intimate relationships. Even if your relationship survives the corrosive effect of judgment, it still suffers.

This article explains how your emotional triggers form your judgments and how judging those closest to you can make you and everyone else around you miserable.

Judgment truly is the ultimate relationship destroyer. [Read more…]

Filed Under: abuse, Behavior, Beliefs, childhood, Control, Dysfunction, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Triggers, Emotional Withdrawal, Guilt, Judgment, Manipulation, Marriage, Negative Emotions, Relationships Tagged With: how to stop judging, Husband is so critical of me, judging in marriage, judging in relationship, judging my wife, Partner is always criticizing me

The Dramatic Victim Doesn’t Want Change

Have you ever met someone who complained about their circumstances but wasn’t willing to do anything to change them?  

In fact, if you were to suggest a possible solution to them, they would come up with an excuse or valid sounding reason on why your suggestion wouldn’t work. And the more you tried to help, the more flaws they’d find in your logic. 

The hard truth is that some people don’t want to change nor do they want others around them to help them change. People like this refuse to acknowledge the role they play in their misery and often blame others for their suffering. 

If you are intertwined with someone like this, you might have to be careful that you are not helping to enable this behavior. This type of person may find comfort in your attention to their misery. And as long as they are getting their needs met, they may not mind if you become miserable along with them as you try to help them.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Behavior, Control, enabling, Human Potential, Negative Emotions, Relationships, Toxic Behavior, Victim Mentality Tagged With: Dealing with the victim mentality, How to deal with the chronic complainer, Some people are so dramatic

Dealing with selfish people that don’t care if they hurt you

Those selfish people that don't care if you're hurt by their behavior
Those selfish people that don't care if you're hurt by their behavior
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Those selfish people that don't care if you're hurt by their behavior
February 9, 2020

When you are interacting with people that only want what they want, regardless of how it affects you, you’re in for a very dysfunctional, and possibly emotionally harmful situation.

It’s important to know your line and know when people cross it, then honor that line so that you don’t lose a bit of yourself.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Emotional Abuse, Emotional Triggers, Empathy, Family, Lying, Manipulation, Marriage, Narcissism, Negative Emotions, Neglect, Personal Boundaries, Podcast Episode, Relationships, Selfishness Tagged With: narcissistic abuse, so selfish, why are people selfish?

When tiny compromises lead to resentments

When tiny compromises lead to resentments
When tiny compromises lead to resentments
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When tiny compromises lead to resentments
March 3, 2019

Do you make small compromises with the people you love so that they will like or love you more?

There are two ways to compromise:

One has attached resentments, the other doesn’t.

I’ll give you one guess which method of compromise works better for the relationships in your life.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: anger, Ask Paul, Codependency, Connection, Dysfunction, Emotional Triggers, Emotional Withdrawal, Intimacy, Loneliness, Marriage, Negative Emotions, Podcast Episode, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Self-Worth Tagged With: building resentment in your relationship, Compromising for others, When tiny compromises lead to resentments

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