The Overwhelmed Brain

Emotional Intelligence for Critical Thinkers

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Codependency: The Subtle Erosion of Love and Connection

8 Comments

Codependence is when two or more people fulfill a need for each other that strengthens a dysfunction between them.

You’ll often see this kind of dynamic between several different types of people:

  • The Rescuer and the Addict
  • The People-Pleaser and the Abuser
  • The Highly Sensitive and the Insensitive

There are many more types and they all have a complimentary nature to them. Recognizing them is usually fairly easy as well. Just look for someone who seems to give a lot to the relationship but never receives enough. Toxic relationships such as this almost always build resentment because the giver becomes tired of always trying to satisfy the needs of the taker. 

It’s the perfect imbalance of love and energy.

No matter what type of codependent relationship it is, the theme is usually the same: The dysfunctional behavior of one person supports the dysfunctional behavior of another.

Important: If you believe that you may be doing emotionally abusive behavior and would like to change that about yourself, sign up for the life-changing Healed Being program over at healedbeing.com).

If you are currently in a relationship with someone who is codependent and is hurtful to you, listen to my podcast Love and Abuse to help you navigate through the difficulties.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: abuse, Behavior, Codependency, Control, Divorce, Dysfunction, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Withdrawal, enabling, Family, Manipulation, Marriage, Narcissism, Negative Emotions, Personal Boundaries, Podcast Episode, Relationships, Victim Mentality Tagged With: co-dependency, codependence, codependent husband, codependent relationship, codependent wife, codependent with addict, codependent with alcoholic, people-pleaser

Dealing With the Victim Mentality

11 Comments

There are true victims in the world, then there are chronic complainers who keep themselves in a victimized state closing the door to progress, healing and growth.

It could have started in childhood or sprung up when they were older, but those who have a victim mentality know one thing for sure: Nothing ever works out for them.

This belief system keeps them in a rut and prevents them from seeing options that could be right in front of them.

Are you or someone you know a self-perpetuating victim? 

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Behavior, Emotional Abuse, Manipulation, Negative Emotions, Personal Boundaries, Podcast Episode, Relationships, Toxic People, Victim Mentality Tagged With: complaining, drama queen, hypochondriac, victim mentality

Surviving Infidelity – An Overlooked Warning Sign and Healing After Cheating

147 Comments

Infidelity can be one of the most painful experiences you can have next to losing a child. The pain that is created by the betrayal is nearly unbearable, and much healing is needed afterward, whether you stay in the relationship or not.

In this article, I talk about one sign you need to pay attention to most when you suspect cheating in your relationship. Then, after an affair is discovered, the emotional wounding that takes place will need mending and healing.

Free Lessons:
​
How to stop hurting those you love

Notice changes right away with these life-changing lessons on how to stop emotionally abusive behavior and give your relationship the best chance at healing.

    No spam, just value.

    For more information, visit https://healedbeing.com

    If you are in an emotionally abusive relationship, listen to the Love and Abuse podcast.

    If you are hurting someone you care about and want to change that about yourself while also giving your relationship the best chance at healing, click here to start your free lessons right away with the Healed Being course.

    [Read more…]

    Filed Under: abuse, Betrayal, Divorce, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Withdrawal, Forgiveness, Infidelity, Jealousy, Manipulation, Marriage, Negative Emotions, Relationships, Toxic People Tagged With: How can I get over the pain of the affair?, How do I get past his cheating?, husband cheated on me, I think my spouse is cheating, I'm in so much pain because she cheated, wife cheated on me

    Releasing Emotional Triggers in Relationships

    30 Comments

    Emotional triggers are the surprises that we get when someone we love or a situation causes us to have a reaction that we haven’t processed yet.

    For example, if you were yelled at as a child and you attached being yelled at to fear, you might get triggered as an adult when you are near someone yelling.

    Triggers are typically childhood beliefs that aren’t necessarily true anymore and need to be addressed to save your relationships. Once you release your old triggers, you can view the world from an entirely different place instead of through the eyes of a fearful child.

    [Read more…]

    Filed Under: anxiety, Behavior, Beliefs, Control, Divorce, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Withdrawal, Human Potential, Judgment, Marriage, Negative Emotions, Personal Boundaries, Relationships Tagged With: emotional triggers

    Personal Boundaries: Protect and Honor Who You Are at Your Core

    21 Comments

    Boundaries are the rules we set up that dictate the people and experiences we allow into our lives. These rules also drive our decisions and behaviors, so that we can achieve a certain level of comfort and stability.

    In other words, if you feel comfortable with someone, you share and give more of yourself. You can allow yourself to be more authentic, and feel vulnerable yet safe. These are the people you allow into what I like to call your “castle walls.”

    If someone makes you feel uncomfortable, and they’re asking or pressuring you into doing things you don’t want to do, these are the people you keep out beyond the moat that surrounds your castle. You don’t let them cross the drawbridge, because if you do you’ll certainly compromise the integrity of your castle.

    [Read more…]

    Filed Under: Behavior, Codependency, Emotional Abuse, enabling, Human Potential, People Pleaser, Personal Boundaries, Podcast Episode, Relationships, rescuer Tagged With: honoring yourself, How do I honor my personal boundaries?, How do I stand up for myself?, People keep walking all over me, People take advantage of me, personal boundaries

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