The Overwhelmed Brain

Emotional Intelligence for Critical Thinkers

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Freeze instead of fight or flight – Learning what didn’t work with the ex – Healing the hole in your heart

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What happens when you freeze instead of fight or flee? Is there anything you can do when you simply can’t function? In the first segment, I talk about the inability to move or sometimes even think when something or someone triggers you or you become stressed.

Freezing can often come from childhood when you felt like you could do nothing during a traumatic event. Learn to train yourself to stay aware of what’s happening so that the freeze doesn’t come.

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Filed Under: Abandonment, Ask Paul, Behavior, Divorce, Human Potential, Loneliness, Loss, Marriage, Mourning, Podcast Episode, Relationships, Self-Worth Tagged With: Freeze instead of fight or flight, Healing the hole in your heart, Learning what didn't work with the ex

The abuse victim’s perspective – Step-parents and step-children – When honoring yourself leads to loneliness

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Why don’t abuse victims leave the relationship? The world can look at someone who is clearly being abused by their partner and say things like, “Why don’t you just leave?” But the abuse victim’s reality is a lot different from those who’ve not experienced what it’s like to have an abused mind.

Their perceptions and beliefs about the world are entirely different than ours so leaving isn’t the easy path others make it out to be. Segment 1 is all about the perspective of the abuse victim and why it’s not as easy to leave the abuser as it may appear to others.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: abuse, Ask Paul, Children, Control, Divorce, Emotional Abuse, Family, Human Potential, Loneliness, Manipulation, Marriage, Narcissism, Personal Boundaries, Podcast Episode, Relationships Tagged With: Emotional Abuse, Step-parents and step-children, The abuse victim's perspective, verbal abuse, When honoring yourself leads to loneliness

The no-win conversation – Lashing out at others – Blame the cheater not yourself

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Does your partner corner you into a no-win situation? Do they ask you questions that make you wrong no matter what you say?

In the first segment, I talk about double binds in relationships and a couple of ways to get out of the no-win questioning that often happens in both non-abusive and abusive relationships.

For segment 2, I discuss lashing out and where it comes from. Are they new emotions that seem to originate in the moment or are they old, stored emotions that derived from a single point in time?

[Read more…]

Filed Under: abuse, anger, Ask Paul, Betrayal, Control, Divorce, Dysfunction, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Withdrawal, Family, Human Potential, Infidelity, Lying, Manipulation, Marriage, Narcissism, Podcast Episode, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Self-Worth, Sex, Toxic People Tagged With: Blame the cheater not yourself, Lashing out at others, The no-win conversation

Obsessing about people – Can your marriage heal if you grow – Online shaming

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When you obsess about someone you want in your life or someone that broke up with you, what can you do to stop the never-ended thoughts? What about when you go so far as to stalk them and find out everything you can about them?

This is a two-part segment because there’s a lot to talk about. In segment two a woman wants to know if she heals and grows will her husband see that she is better and want to stay in the relationship. However, the husband has been manipulative and unkind to her, letting her know that she’s the one with the problem and she’s the one who needs help.

Can they save their marriage or are they doomed to fail? During the close of the show I talk about Justine Sacco and how her life was ruined because of a misunderstood joke on Twitter.

Public shaming takes the stage in this segment. 

Filed Under: Marriage, Obsession, Podcast Episode, Relationships, Shame

Trusting Your Gut – Can You Reconcile with Someone You’ve Hurt – Making Decisions Easier

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Do you trust your gut? Do you want to?

In segment one, I share how I almost got conned by a store clerk and how I used my instinct to keep from getting deceived (and calling him out at the same time).

[Read more…]

Filed Under: abuse, Control, Deception, Decisions, Divorce, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Withdrawal, Manipulation, Marriage, Obsession, Podcast Episode, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Self-Worth, Toxic People Tagged With: Easy way to make decisions, Reconciling with someone you've hurt, trusting your instincts

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