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Emotional Intelligence for Critical Thinkers

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My Healing Journey from Being an Emotional Abuser

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Emotional abuse is the ultimate brainwashing technique. It often hides in the form of feigned helplessness, generosity, compassion, and love. The perpetrator knows how to appear kind and caring while intertwining abusive behavior, causing the person on the receiving end to become powerless.

Emotional abuse is a method of controlling, manipulating, belittling, and invalidating a person over time. It is often hard to spot in the moment as it can be seen as benign or even “normal” to most observers.

But as this behavior is repeated time and time again, the insidious compound effect of this form of hidden abuse causes its victims to lose confidence in themselves, stop trusting in their own decisions, feel devalued and unimportant, and blame themselves for being the cause of, and sometimes even deserving, of the abusive behavior.

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    [Read more…]

    Filed Under: Abandonment, Blog article, Divorce, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Healing, Emotional Withdrawal, Empathy, Judgment, Manipulation, Marriage, Narcissism, Relationships, Toxic Behavior, Toxic Thinking Tagged With: Am I emotionally abusive?, Can the emotional abuser change?, how do I stop being emotionally abusive?

    Is it ever okay to release toxic family?

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    img-1I received an email from someone who was very angry with me. She said “You should be ashamed of yourself for teaching that it is okay to break ties with family!“

    She was referencing an episode I did on toxic family members and how I said if they are too toxic to be around that it’s okay to part ways with them.  [Read more…]

    Filed Under: abuse, anger, Codependency, Control, Dysfunction, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Healing, enabling, Family, Narcissism, Personal Boundaries, Relationships, Toxic Behavior, Toxic People Tagged With: Is it ever okay to release toxic family?, letting go of toxic family, Releasing toxic family members

    Loosening the Emotional Grip Problems Have on You

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    Loosening the grip emotional pain and suffering can have on you
    Loosening the grip emotional pain and suffering can have on you
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    Loosening the grip emotional pain and suffering can have on you
    November 29, 2020
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    How difficult is it to experience life to the fullest when you have a dark cloud of problems and challenges?

    In this episode, I help you tackle the problems in your life with many questions designed to loosen the grip emotional challenges have on you. If you can get some relief from the problems in your life, perhaps you could experience more of what it has to offer.

    Filed Under: Ask Paul, Dysfunction, Emotional Healing, Negative Emotions, Podcast Episode, Toxic Thinking Tagged With: life is hard, Loosening the Emotional Grip Problems Have on You

    When a dysfunctional upbringing leaves you with nothing but broken tools

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    When a dysfunctional upbringing leaves you with nothing but broken tools
    When a dysfunctional upbringing leaves you with nothing but broken tools
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    When a dysfunctional upbringing leaves you with nothing but broken tools
    August 5, 2018
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    Your level of function or dysfunction as an adult is almost always determined by the most unhealthy or toxic people in your family growing up.

    When you are raised by those who didn’t or couldn’t love and support you as you deserved, you may have developed “broken” tools to deal with situations as an adult. When your emotional toolbox has a bunch of broken tools, you may keep getting the results you don’t want, causing you to stay unhappy.

    In this episode, I help you identify those broken tools and what you can do to start utilizing them the right way, or even fixing them altogether.

    Filed Under: abuse, Ask Paul, Behavior, Beliefs, childhood, Codependency, Dysfunction, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Healing, Family, Healing, Healthy Thinking, Manipulation, Narcissism, Neglect, Podcast Episode, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Self-Worth, Toxic Thinking Tagged With: don't know how to heal, dysfunctional childhood, No means to heal

    Pulling out of the emotional rut

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    Pulling out of the emotional rut
    Pulling out of the emotional rut
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    Pulling out of the emotional rut
    June 17, 2018
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    There is a path out of the rut of depression, feeling unworthy, unlovable, stupid, and any of a number of other thoughts and feelings that can permeate your life.

    If you’re in that miserable, stuck state, this episode may be a path to a door that shines the light on the dark.

    Filed Under: anxiety, Depression, Emotional Healing, Overwhelm, Self-Esteem, Self-Worth, Toxic Thinking Tagged With: Getting out of anxiety and depression, pulling out of the emotional rut

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