Emotional Intelligence for Critical Thinkers
People-pleasers appear to be very thoughtful. They will do everything they can to make sure those they love (and even those they don’t) are happy.
At first, this sounds like the ideal person to have in your life! After all, if they are set out to make you happy, who could ask for anything more?
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What if the person you’re with is toxic, but you have a belief that they are the best you can get?
What if you’re stuck in a relationship you don’t like, but stick around anyway because you think you’ll never find anything better, so what’s the point?
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Ever have a friend that said “Yeah But…” to every good suggestion you made? How about when they actually ask for your advice, you give it, but they don’t do it because their excuse machine activates?
There are two types of people I talk about in the first segment: “Yeah, But” people, and “Okay, I’ll Try It” people. Sure, there are millions of other types of people out there, but it’s a good start.
Also, I receive a letter from a woman who decided to remove toxic family members from her life and get away from abuse. She took massive first steps, but what’s next? How can you recover from a life of abuse? How can you get to a place beyond where you can relax and feel good again?
Finally, I read another letting about what it might take to reject people in your life. How about those sensitive people that might be hurt by rejection? Is there a way to get away from those who keep showing up when you don’t want them to? Sounds like a great thing to talk about.
Why would you cheat if you’re in love and have a great sex life? It’s not like sex is missing from your life, so what’s the point of going outside the relationship for it?
Sure, perhaps a new body, a new experience, and even newfound pleasures sound appealing, but are those enough to risk flushing your current relationship down the toilet?
I recently received a letter from a woman who cheated on her husband. However, she told me there was nothing wrong in her current relationship. They were madly in love and their sex life was amazing. But, she cheated anyway. Shortly after, she felt awful about it and fessed up to him.
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Should you receive something in return for everything you give? You bet, but maybe not in the way you’re thinking.
You can build an emotional deficit by giving and giving and not receiving in the way you’d like. Resentment can build and you can get very tired of being a people-pleaser.
Also, I receive a letter from someone who feels socially inept. He can’t make or keep friends, and he feels awkward on dates. Sometimes being yourself is the best solution, but who are you really being during those awkward silences?
Finally, I talk about a woman who is deeply in love with her husband and has a great sex life, yet still cheated anyway. She can’t figure out why so I explore why even a good marriage or relationship experiences infidelity.
