The Overwhelmed Brain

Emotional Intelligence for Critical Thinkers

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Losing Your Identity in the Relationship – The Brilliant, Worthy You – Exes as Friends – The Right Partner

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Losing Your Identity in the Relationship – The Brilliant, Worthy You – Exes as Friends – The Right Partner
Losing Your Identity in the Relationship –  The Brilliant, Worthy You – Exes as Friends – The Right Partner
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Losing Your Identity in the Relationship – The Brilliant, Worthy You – Exes as Friends – The Right Partner
September 18, 2016
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Nurturing yourself while you’re in a relationship decreases the impact breaking up has if and when it happens. The more you keep the connection with yourself and don’t lose a part of you in the relationship, the healthier you stay. You lose your identity in a relationship when you don’t nurture yourself.

When family doesn’t honor you and see your worth, sometimes you just have to distance yourself from them so that you reconnect with a brilliant, worthy you. Not everyone is capable of seeing what you are, so it’s important to continue nurturing and supporting yourself as if you were your own child or best friend.

When your partner has a friend who is also an ex, how do you feel about that? Do they talk all the time? Do they have to communicate because of shared custody of children? Do they communicate more than you’d like? It’s important to understand where your line is and when your partner is crossing it. Otherwise, their ex becomes a part of your relationship, which can be damaging if you’re not all good friends, to begin with.

Filed Under: Ask Paul, Behavior, Human Potential, Marriage, Negative Emotions, Personal Boundaries, Podcast Episode, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Self-Worth Tagged With: How do I find the right partner?, I don't know who I am without someone else in my life, I feel worthless and have low self-esteem, Is is okay to have an ex as a friend?

The Importance of Self-Nurturing Behavior

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How many times have you broken up or got dumped in your life? And how many times was it a piece of cake?

The end of a relationship is rarely easy. It’s possible things could go smoothly, but it doesn’t usually happen. However, how much it hurts may have a lot to do with how much you nurture yourself before a breakup happens.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Behavior, childhood, Compassion, Neglect, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Self-Worth Tagged With: I experienced neglect as a child, Nurture yourself, self-compassion, self-love

The Yeah But Mentality – Life After Abuse – Rejecting Former Friends

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The Yeah But Mentality – Life After Abuse – Rejecting Former Friends
The Yeah But Mentality – Life After Abuse – Rejecting Former Friends
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The Yeah But Mentality – Life After Abuse – Rejecting Former Friends
August 28, 2016
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Ever have a friend that said “Yeah But…” to every good suggestion you made? How about when they actually ask for your advice, you give it, but they don’t do it because their excuse machine activates?

There are two types of people I talk about in the first segment: “Yeah, But” people, and “Okay, I’ll Try It” people. Sure, there are millions of other types of people out there, but it’s a good start.

Also, I receive a letter from a woman who decided to remove toxic family members from her life and get away from abuse. She took massive first steps, but what’s next? How can you recover from a life of abuse? How can you get to a place beyond where you can relax and feel good again?

Finally, I read another letting about what it might take to reject people in your life. How about those sensitive people that might be hurt by rejection? Is there a way to get away from those who keep showing up when you don’t want them to? Sounds like a great thing to talk about.

Filed Under: abuse, Behavior, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Withdrawal, Human Potential, Manipulation, Marriage, Narcissism, Podcast Episode, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Self-Worth, Suicide, Toxic People, Victim Mentality Tagged With: Emotional Abuse, Life After Abuse, Rejecting Former Friends, The Yeah But Mentality, verbal abuse

What Emotionally Abusive Communication Looks Like

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manipulation

The number of manipulative people in the world is probably a lot higher than you might imagine. Of course, maybe I have that perception because the majority of my clients are in manipulative relationships, and I just don’t see too many other types.

Back around 2010, I realized I was a manipulative person for most of my life. I used masterful communication skills to get my selfish needs met by those closest to me.

In every relationship I’ve ever been in, I found ways to manipulate my partner. It took several breakups and finally a divorce for me to realize that my behavior was the reason for all of the heartaches that kept appearing in my life.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: abuse, Behavior, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Withdrawal, Manipulation, Narcissism, Negative Emotions, Personal Boundaries, Relationships, Self-Worth, Shame Tagged With: guilty, invalidation, manipulation, manipulators, shame

The Process of Self-Sabotage – You Don’t Have to Forgive Everyone – Anxiety All The Time

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The Process of Self-Sabotage – You don’t have to forgive everyone – Anxiety all the time
The Process of Self-Sabotage – You don’t have to forgive everyone – Anxiety all the time
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The Process of Self-Sabotage – You don’t have to forgive everyone – Anxiety all the time
May 1, 2016
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Why do we fall off course so easily? When you prioritize tasks that take your time away from the things you want to accomplish, you fall back farther and farther until you are no longer making progress. In fact, you might even end up going backward.

Sometimes you are not in alignment with a bigger vision for yourself. The reason is that you might actually have a value hidden under the surface that you didn’t even know was there. I talk about this self-sabotaging behavior in segment one of this episode.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: anger, anxiety, Ask Paul, Dysfunction, Family, Forgiveness, Guilt, Human Potential, Infidelity, Lying, Manipulation, Marriage, Negative Emotions, Physical Health, Podcast Episode, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Self-Worth, Shame, Values, Worry Tagged With: Anxiety All The Time, The Process of Self-Sabotage, You Don't Have to Forgive Everyone

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