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Emotional Intelligence for Critical Thinkers

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When your partner sides with their family against you

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When your partner changes their mind about your life plans
When your partner changes their mind about your life plans
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When your partner changes their mind about your life plans
April 8, 2018
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If your partner’s family is against you and your partner sides with them, what do you do?

When you can’t feel safe in your own relationship because your partner’s priority is his or her own family over you, you may have some hard choices to make. In this episode, Matthew Bivens and I have an emotionally intelligent conversation about an email I received from a woman whose husband shared her personal message to a relative of his.

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Filed Under: Abandonment, Ask Paul, Betrayal, Codependency, Control, Decisions, Divorce, Dysfunction, Emotional Abuse, enabling, Family, Human Potential, Marriage, Podcast Episode, Relationships, Toxic People Tagged With: blood is thicker, mama's boy, unhealthy family ties

The cheater who went from kind to cold when caught – Ex won’t return even after I improve – Your intuition needs closure

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The cheater who went from kind to cold when caught – Ex won’t return even after I improve – Your intuition needs closure
The cheater who went from kind to cold when caught – Ex won’t return even after I improve – Your intuition needs closure
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The cheater who went from kind to cold when caught – Ex won’t return even after I improve – Your intuition needs closure
December 10, 2017
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Segment 1: She caught her husband cheating, he blamed her and her family for the affair.

He used to be loving and supportive. Now that he can’t get his way, he is cold and manipulative. Segment 2: She wants her ex back, but all he wants is sex. She complies but feels empty and lonely without him.

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Filed Under: Betrayal, Decisions, Divorce, Infidelity, Intuition, Loneliness, Loss, Obsession, Relationships, Thinking, Toxic People Tagged With: Ex won't return even after I improve, The cheater who went from kind to cold when caught, Your intuition needs closure

Attracting higher quality partners – Feeling sorry for those that abuse you – Try, try again or do or do not?

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Attracting higher quality partners – Feeling sorry for those that abuse you – Try, try again or do or do not
Attracting higher quality partners – Feeling sorry for those that abuse you – Try, try again or do or do not
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Attracting higher quality partners – Feeling sorry for those that abuse you – Try, try again or do or do not
December 3, 2017
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Segment 1: Do you attract the worst partners? What does it take to find a normal person to date?

There is a path to attracting quality partners but it may involve facing your fear of loss.

Segment 2: If you feel bad for your emotional abuser or manipulator, you are more likely to stay in the relationship and take the abuse.

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Filed Under: abuse, Codependency, Compassion, Control, Divorce, Dysfunction, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Withdrawal, enabling, Manipulation, Marriage, Relationships, Thinking, Toxic People Tagged With: Attracting higher quality partners, Feeling sorry for those that abuse you, Try try again or do or do not?

A Near Miss Still Leaves a Mark: The Danger of the Abusive Relationship

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Back in 2017, my girlfriend and I took a trip to visit my family in New Hampshire. We both enjoyed sitting with people we knew well, enjoying their friendly faces and warm conversation.

Like most families, our conversation shifted toward a “remember the time…” direction, where we shared both happy and sad memories of the past.  

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Filed Under: abuse, Behavior, Control, Divorce, Dysfunction, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Withdrawal, Family, Manipulation, Marriage, Narcissism, Physical Health, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Self-Worth, Toxic People Tagged With: Dealing with an alcoholic person, domestic violence, Emotional Abuse, near miss

Are You Being Abused By A Narcissist?

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A long time ago, I was taught that a narcissist was a person who stared into the mirror and adored themselves for hours. But after years of working with couples on many kinds of issues, including narcissistic abuse, my perspective on narcissism has broadened greatly.

Narcissists wouldn’t be so bad if they didn’t also drag other people into their world, manipulating them to do what they want regardless of the harm they inflicted. If they kept to themselves, most people could ignore them and go on with life.

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Filed Under: abuse, Control, Divorce, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Withdrawal, enabling, Guilt, Infidelity, Manipulation, Marriage, Narcissism, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Self-Worth, Toxic People Tagged With: crazy making, Emotional Abuse, emotional manipulation, love bombing, narcissism, narcissistic abuse, verbal abuse

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