The Overwhelmed Brain

Emotional Intelligence for Critical Thinkers

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The Adapting Chameleon Personality – When they hurt you to get rid of you – Accepting or denying toxic family members

Segment 1: Are you a chameleon? Do you change as needed for every person and situation?

If so, is it really serving you? It’s time to explore this personality quirk and discover if it’s more harmful than helpful.

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Filed Under: Abandonment, Divorce, Family, Relationships, rescuer, Toxic Behavior, Toxic People Tagged With: Accepting or denying toxic family members, The Adapting Chameleon Personality, When they hurt you to get rid of you

When your partner sides with their family against you

If your partner’s family is against you and your partner sides with them, what do you do?

When you can’t feel safe in your own relationship because your partner’s priority is his or her own family over you, you may have some hard choices to make. In this episode, Matthew Bivens and I have an emotionally intelligent conversation about an email I received from a woman whose husband shared her personal message to a relative of his.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Abandonment, Ask Paul, Betrayal, Codependency, Control, Decisions, Divorce, Dysfunction, Emotional Abuse, enabling, Family, Human Potential, Marriage, Podcast Episode, Relationships, Toxic People Tagged With: blood is thicker, mama's boy, unhealthy family ties

Escaping the Real World – Kids and the Narcissistic Parent – The Isolation of the Child Sexual Abuse Survivor

Do you fantasize, daydream, play video games or watch TV in hopes that you won’t have to deal with reality?

It’s not all bad but anything in moderation, right? In the first segment of this episode, I talk about the benefits of skipping reality for a little bit as long as you connect with yourself in other ways.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Abandonment, abuse, Ask Paul, childhood, Children, Codependency, Control, Divorce, Dysfunction, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Withdrawal, Family, Human Potential, Lying, Manipulation, Narcissism, Podcast Episode, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Self-Worth, Sex, Shame, Suicide Tagged With: childhood sexual abuse, lost in thought, narcissistic abuse, narcissistic ex

Freeze instead of fight or flight – Learning what didn’t work with the ex – Healing the hole in your heart

What happens when you freeze instead of fight or flee? Is there anything you can do when you simply can’t function? In the first segment, I talk about the inability to move or sometimes even think when something or someone triggers you or you become stressed.

Freezing can often come from childhood when you felt like you could do nothing during a traumatic event. Learn to train yourself to stay aware of what’s happening so that the freeze doesn’t come.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Abandonment, Ask Paul, Behavior, Divorce, Human Potential, Loneliness, Loss, Marriage, Mourning, Podcast Episode, Relationships, Self-Worth Tagged With: Freeze instead of fight or flight, Healing the hole in your heart, Learning what didn't work with the ex

Stonewalling – Expectations of friends – Emotional abuse follows you – Get away to get closer to people

Stonewalling is damaging to a relationship and can make it fail if whatever is shut down is never brought up to be resolved. If you give your partner the silent treatment, you need to hear this segment. In segment two, I talk about expectations in friendships. Should friendships be an equal, two-way street or can there be imbalance where one person does all the work and the other just lets them do it?

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Abandonment, abuse, Communication, Control, Divorce, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Withdrawal, Friendships, Human Potential, Manipulation, Marriage, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Self-Worth Tagged With: Emotional abuse follows you, Expectations of friends, Get away to get closer to people, How do I know if I'm being emotionally abused?, how to make friends, Stonewalling, What is emotional abuse?

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