The Overwhelmed Brain

Emotional Intelligence for Critical Thinkers

The Silent Treatment – How Emotional Withdrawal Dissolves Love

22 Comments

We’ve all done it. At one time or another, you’ve emotionally withdrawn from someone who set off some sort of emotional trigger in you.

The Silent Treatment is a protection mechanism that kicks in when you feel hurt, unsafe, or triggered in some way. When someone does or says something that betrays your values, morals, or beliefs, you may withdraw and put on your “emotional armor.”

Some information may be so hard to accept or understand that you just want to slip back into your shell so that you can process it and figure out what to do next.

Important: If you believe that you may be doing emotionally abusive behavior and would like to change that about yourself, sign up for the life-changing Healed Being program over at healedbeing.com).

If you are currently in a relationship with someone who uses the silent treatment to make you feel guilty or sad, listen to my podcast Love and Abuse to help you navigate through the difficulties.

[Read more…]

The Silent Treatment – The Drawbacks of Non-Confrontational Behavior – Permission to Hate

Leave a Comment

The Silent Treatment – The Drawbacks of Non-Confrontational Behavior – Permission to Hate
The Silent Treatment – The Drawbacks of Non-Confrontational Behavior – Permission to Hate
Episode play icon
The Silent Treatment – The Drawbacks of Non-Confrontational Behavior – Permission to Hate
October 2, 2016

The silent treatment is like an acid that disintegrates trust and love because of the withdrawal of emotions (emotional withdrawal). It’s hard to trust someone who gives you the silent treatment because when they withdraw, you might feel betrayed and abandoned.

I also talk about the drawbacks of non-confrontational behavior and how choosing not to confront disintegrates love and bonding. When you choose to be non-confrontational, it’s like telling the other person “I don’t want to tell you the whole truth”.

And what about hate? Are you allowed to feel hate? Should you? I think it’s important to acknowledge and accept every part of you and every thought instead of resisting your thoughts. Otherwise, you go around holding on to a lot of negativity which you eventually unleash on those you love.

Tune into the Love and Abuse podcast to help you learn how to navigate difficult relationships

Weaning Off Toxic People

Leave a Comment

What if the person you’re with is toxic, but you have a belief that they are the best you can get?

What if you’re stuck in a relationship you don’t like, but stick around anyway because you think you’ll never find anything better, so what’s the point?

[Read more…]

The Yeah But Mentality – Life After Abuse – Rejecting Former Friends

Leave a Comment

The Yeah But Mentality – Life After Abuse – Rejecting Former Friends
The Yeah But Mentality – Life After Abuse – Rejecting Former Friends
Episode play icon
The Yeah But Mentality – Life After Abuse – Rejecting Former Friends
August 28, 2016

Ever have a friend that said “Yeah But…” to every good suggestion you made? How about when they actually ask for your advice, you give it, but they don’t do it because their excuse machine activates?

There are two types of people I talk about in the first segment: “Yeah, But” people, and “Okay, I’ll Try It” people. Sure, there are millions of other types of people out there, but it’s a good start.

Also, I receive a letter from a woman who decided to remove toxic family members from her life and get away from abuse. She took massive first steps, but what’s next? How can you recover from a life of abuse? How can you get to a place beyond where you can relax and feel good again?

Finally, I read another letting about what it might take to reject people in your life. How about those sensitive people that might be hurt by rejection? Is there a way to get away from those who keep showing up when you don’t want them to? Sounds like a great thing to talk about.

What Makes One Cheat When Their Relationship Is Great?

Leave a Comment

Why would you cheat if you’re in love and have a great sex life? It’s not like sex is missing from your life, so what’s the point of going outside the relationship for it?

Sure, perhaps a new body, a new experience, and even newfound pleasures sound appealing, but are those enough to risk flushing your current relationship down the toilet?

I recently received a letter from a woman who cheated on her husband. However, she told me there was nothing wrong in her current relationship. They were madly in love and their sex life was amazing. But, she cheated anyway. Shortly after, she felt awful about it and fessed up to him.

[Read more…]