The Overwhelmed Brain

Emotional Intelligence for Critical Thinkers

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Transforming the Emotionally Abusive Relationship

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When I was first getting to know my partner, she told me about her relationship with her ex. She said that they were the best of friends, so it only made sense that developing that friendship into a romantic relationship would enhance what they had and bring them even closer.

After several years of emotional abuse and a bitter divorce, she left that relationship a shell of her former self.

Emotionally abusive people know exactly how to be a good friend. They show up when you need them. They say all the right things. They appear to be genuinely kind and generous to you and the rest of the world.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: abuse, anxiety, Control, Divorce, Dysfunction, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Withdrawal, enabling, Family, Loneliness, Manipulation, Narcissism, Negative Emotions, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Self-Worth, Toxic People Tagged With: How can I stop my partner from being emotionally abusive?, How do I know if I'm being emotionally abused?, What is emotional abuse?

The Formula for Friendship – Tuning Into the Yellow Flags of Betrayal – Trusting Relationships

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The Formula for Friendship – Tuning Into the Yellow Flags of Betrayal – Trusting Relationships
The Formula for Friendship – Tuning Into the Yellow Flags of Betrayal – Trusting Relationships
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The Formula for Friendship – Tuning Into the Yellow Flags of Betrayal – Trusting Relationships
January 8, 2017
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Friendships are created and can last a lifetime, but they can also disintegrate, never to be rekindled.

What makes a friendship? How do you know if your friends are truly the ones that will be there with you and for you through all the good and bad times? In this first segment, I tackle these questions head-on.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: abuse, Ask Paul, Behavior, Control, Divorce, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Withdrawal, Fears, Human Potential, Infidelity, Lying, Manipulation, Marriage, Negative Emotions, Podcast Episode, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Self-Worth Tagged With: The Formula for Friendship, The Yellow Flags of Betrayal, Trusting Relationships

The Silent Treatment – How Emotional Withdrawal Dissolves Love

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We’ve all done it. At one time or another, you’ve emotionally withdrawn from someone who set off some sort of emotional trigger in you.

The Silent Treatment is a protection mechanism that kicks in when you feel hurt, unsafe, or triggered in some way. When someone does or says something that betrays your values, morals, or beliefs, you may withdraw and put on your “emotional armor.”

Some information may be so hard to accept or understand that you just want to slip back into your shell so that you can process it and figure out what to do next.

Important: If you believe that you may be doing emotionally abusive behavior and would like to change that about yourself, sign up for the life-changing Healed Being program over at healedbeing.com).

If you are currently in a relationship with someone who uses the silent treatment to make you feel guilty or sad, listen to my podcast Love and Abuse to help you navigate through the difficulties.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: abuse, anger, Behavior, Codependency, Dysfunction, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Withdrawal, Human Potential, Manipulation, Marriage, Negative Emotions, Podcast Episode, Relationships Tagged With: Dealing with Emotional Withdrawal, How do I deal with the silent treatment?, I'm getting the silent treatment from my girlfriend, The Silent Treatment, What is the silent treatment?

The Silent Treatment – The Drawbacks of Non-Confrontational Behavior – Permission to Hate

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The Silent Treatment – The Drawbacks of Non-Confrontational Behavior – Permission to Hate
The Silent Treatment – The Drawbacks of Non-Confrontational Behavior – Permission to Hate
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The Silent Treatment – The Drawbacks of Non-Confrontational Behavior – Permission to Hate
October 2, 2016
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The silent treatment is like an acid that disintegrates trust and love because of the withdrawal of emotions (emotional withdrawal). It’s hard to trust someone who gives you the silent treatment because when they withdraw, you might feel betrayed and abandoned.

I also talk about the drawbacks of non-confrontational behavior and how choosing not to confront disintegrates love and bonding. When you choose to be non-confrontational, it’s like telling the other person “I don’t want to tell you the whole truth”.

And what about hate? Are you allowed to feel hate? Should you? I think it’s important to acknowledge and accept every part of you and every thought instead of resisting your thoughts. Otherwise, you go around holding on to a lot of negativity which you eventually unleash on those you love.

Tune into the Love and Abuse podcast to help you learn how to navigate difficult relationships

Filed Under: Behavior, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Withdrawal, Hate, Human Potential, Negative Emotions, Personal Boundaries, Podcast Episode, Relationships Tagged With: How do I deal with the silent treatment?, I don't know what to do when my husband gives me the silent treatment, Permission to Hate, The Drawbacks of Non-Confrontational Behavior, The Silent Treatment

Weaning Off Toxic People

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What if the person you’re with is toxic, but you have a belief that they are the best you can get?

What if you’re stuck in a relationship you don’t like, but stick around anyway because you think you’ll never find anything better, so what’s the point?

[Read more…]

Filed Under: abuse, Behavior, Control, Emotional Abuse, Family, Negative Emotions, Personal Boundaries, Relationships, Toxic Behavior, Toxic People Tagged With: How to get away from toxic people, Toxic People, Toxic Relationships, Unhealthy Marriage

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