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Emotional Intelligence for Critical Thinkers

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The Process of Self-Sabotage – You Don’t Have to Forgive Everyone – Anxiety All The Time

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The Process of Self-Sabotage – You don’t have to forgive everyone – Anxiety all the time
The Process of Self-Sabotage – You don’t have to forgive everyone – Anxiety all the time
Episode play icon
The Process of Self-Sabotage – You don’t have to forgive everyone – Anxiety all the time
May 1, 2016

Why do we fall off course so easily? When you prioritize tasks that take your time away from the things you want to accomplish, you fall back farther and farther until you are no longer making progress. In fact, you might even end up going backward.

Sometimes you are not in alignment with a bigger vision for yourself. The reason is that you might actually have a value hidden under the surface that you didn’t even know was there. I talk about this self-sabotaging behavior in segment one of this episode.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: anger, anxiety, Ask Paul, Dysfunction, Family, Forgiveness, Guilt, Human Potential, Infidelity, Lying, Manipulation, Marriage, Negative Emotions, Physical Health, Podcast Episode, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Self-Worth, Shame, Values, Worry Tagged With: Anxiety All The Time, The Process of Self-Sabotage, You Don't Have to Forgive Everyone

Getting the Big Picture in Arguments – Honoring Personal Boundaries with Parents – Creating the Life You Want

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Getting the Big Picture in Arguments, Honoring Personal Boundaries with Parents, and Creating the Life You Want
Getting the Big Picture in Arguments, Honoring Personal Boundaries with Parents, and Creating the Life You Want
Episode play icon
Getting the Big Picture in Arguments, Honoring Personal Boundaries with Parents, and Creating the Life You Want
November 1, 2015

Segment one: Stepping out of the details so that you can see a bigger picture is one of the best ways to end an argument. When you “chunk up” into a broader perspective instead of staying “chunked down” and embroiled in the details, you’re able to step out of all the negative emotional energy about the situation.

Segment two: A listener who just graduated college wrote and asked about honoring his personal boundaries with his parents and how to get along with a particular family member who doesn’t seem to like him.

Segment Three: I talk about what it really means to “create the life you want.” If you’ve had trouble doing that up to now, this is the segment for you.

Filed Under: Dysfunction, Emotional Triggers, Family, Marriage, Negative Emotions, Personal Boundaries, Podcast Episode, Relationships, Toxic People, Values Tagged With: Creating the Life You Want, Getting the Big Picture in Arguments, Honoring Personal Boundaries with Parents

Programming Your Future for Success

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belief subconscious accomplishment successWhen you were a child, whatever fear came up, you figured out a way to survive the moment. These survival skills were very handy in adolescence simply because they worked to keep us alive!

Sure, we probably weren’t going to die, but it felt like it! Then, years later we became adults (well, some of us did 😉 ), and soon we were put into situations that caused similar fears and once again, that old survival mentality kicked back in.

Our brains went, “Oh yeah, I know how to get through this! I learned it as a child, this is an easy one. I’ll just… (fill in the blank).” We took the belief system we developed as children into our adult world and suddenly we feel stress and pain and hurt, and all kinds of things we didn’t expect.

That’s because we stuck to the old system of beliefs we created as children. And these beliefs are deep, so it’s no wonder we rarely question what we believe. But, isn’t it time to do just that? Especially if the results you are getting in life simply aren’t what you expected them to be?

Sounds like a trip to the subconscious mind is in store today! [Read more…]

Filed Under: Behavior, Beliefs, Desires, Finances, Healthy Thinking, Human Potential, Money, Negative Emotions, Personal Boundaries, Values Tagged With: beliefs, subconscious

What’s Missing In My Life?

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whats missing in my life sad unhappy unsatisfied

If you don’t know what’s missing in your life, then you’ve been asking yourself the wrong question.

Perhaps you should ask “What’s present in my life that’s preventing me from getting what’s missing in my life?”

It may sound like an odd way to ask the question but the way you phrase questions to yourself will dictate how you think about everything. And if you change the way you think, you can change your results.

When you don’t know what’s missing, you don’t know what to focus on to obtain what’s missing. So maybe it’s time to change the questions you ask yourself.

“What’s missing in my life?”

No… How about: “What is in my life right now that, if it were missing, would help me get what I need to feel happy?”

How your phrase your language changes how you think about a problem.

The above question sounds weird on purpose. And in order to understand it, you need to reach inside yourself a little deeper than you normally would. This will help you access your innermost resources that will help you come up with a solution.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Behavior, Beliefs, Career, Communication, Decisions, Depression, Desires, Fears, Human Potential, Identity, Motivation, Negative Emotions, Passion, People Pleaser, Podcast Episode, Self-Esteem, Self-Worth, Thinking, Values Tagged With: finding your passion, I am unsatisfied in life, meaning of life, what's missing in my life?, What's the purpose of my life?

Setting Goals for People who Hate Setting Goals

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I hate setting goals, so I had to figure out how I could get what I want in life without following the standard goal-setting steps we’re always taught.

Just writing down a goal makes me cringe. But why?

Perhaps it’s because I’m not one of those highly organized people full of energy, That could be half of it, but it’s certainly not the whole picture.

In this article, I’m going to share with you how to get what you want without setting goals. If you hate setting goals like I do, I think this post will give you a lot of relief.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Career, Finances, Human Potential, Overwhelm, Resources, Thinking, Values Tagged With: I never achieve my goals, I never follow through on the goals I set for myself, Why is setting goals so hard

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