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Emotional Intelligence for Critical Thinkers

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Difficult Relationship Moments Shouldn’t Turn Into Lasting Misery

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One night my girlfriend asked me to grab her lip balm before crawling into bed. I looked around, but couldn’t find where she asked me to look.

She got a little annoyed. I don’t know if she was annoyed that it wasn’t there, or annoyed at me because she thought I missed it. I asked her where else it might be.

She directed me to the bathroom. I looked around but still didn’t see it. She said emphatically, “It should be right there against the wall.”

I looked again… Nothing. So like a good boyfriend, I started searching for it elsewhere.

She told me to give up on my search. She said, “Don’t worry about it. If you can’t find it, I’ll go without.” But that old people-pleaser behavior in me dusted itself off and kicked in to gear. And in that moment, I made it my mission to find it.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: anger, Ask Paul, Communication, Divorce, Family, Marriage, People Pleaser, Relationships Tagged With: miserable in my relationship, My partner and I are always arguing, My partner and I are always fighting

Avoiding vulnerability and stuffing down emotions

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Avoiding vulnerability and stuffing down emotions
Avoiding vulnerability and stuffing down emotions
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Avoiding vulnerability and stuffing down emotions
November 11, 2018
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When you carry around an inability to be vulnerable, you can build up an emotional resistance increasing the negativity inside of you. When this happens, you end up living a life that isn’t as happy or fulfilling as it could be.

I explain this process in this episode.

Filed Under: anxiety, Ask Paul, Depression, Negative Emotions, Vulnerability Tagged With: Afraid to be vulnerable, Is there strength in vulnerability?, Stuffing down emotions

The Silent Treatment

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The Silent Treatment
The Silent Treatment
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The Silent Treatment
October 28, 2018
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Silence can be golden, but in a relationship, it can lead to a slow death. It’s crucial to understand how damaging withdrawing love and attention can be.

Over time, with ongoing neglect, love can dissolve to the point of no return.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Divorce, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Triggers, Emotional Withdrawal, Marriage, Neglect, Podcast Episode, Relationships Tagged With: He withdraws love and affection, She is giving me the silent treatment

Are you enabling the bad behavior of other people?

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Are you enabling the bad behavior of other people?
Are you enabling the bad behavior of other people?
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Are you enabling the bad behavior of other people?
October 21, 2018
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Do you enable behavior that you don’t like? Is it possible that the people that cause you stress do so because you are allowing it in some way?

This episode covers a very important topic that may help you get your power back if you adopt and apply the message.

For more on enabling bad behavior, be sure to tune into the Love and Abuse podcast. 

Filed Under: abuse, anger, Behavior, Betrayal, Codependency, Communication, Control, Dysfunction, Emotional Abuse, enabling, Family, Manipulation, Negative Emotions, Podcast Episode, Relationships, Toxic Behavior Tagged With: Are you enabling bad behavior?, When people mistreat you

Decrease Social Anxiety

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Decrease Social Anxiety
Decrease Social Anxiety
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Decrease Social Anxiety
October 17, 2018
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Social anxiety can be debilitating. In this bonus mini-episode, I talk about one way to start thinking about it differently so that it doesn’t have such a grip on you.

Stop anxiety when it starts with The S.A.F.E. Empowerment System

Filed Under: anxiety, Ask Paul, Fears, Insecurity Tagged With: fear of crowds, Fear of public speaking fear of public speaking, how to get over social anxiety, social phobia

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