The Overwhelmed Brain

Emotional Intelligence for Critical Thinkers

8 Steps to Becoming the Ultimate People-Pleaser

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If you find yourself people-pleasing for love, attention, or fear of confrontation, then this article is for you.

As a former people-pleaser, I’ve learned exactly what it takes to become proficient at it. I’ve gained much wisdom since growing out of that phase of my life, so I thought I’d share with you my tips on how to become the best people-pleaser possible.

Of course, if you are already a people-pleaser, you may gain some extra skills by reading this article.

This article is meant to be tongue-in-cheek but also contains an important reminder about how people-pleasing almost always leads to unhappiness.

Are you ready? Here are the eight steps to becoming the ultimate people-pleaser:

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Is it ever okay to release toxic family?

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I received an email from someone who was very angry with me. She said “You should be ashamed of yourself for teaching that it is okay to break ties with family!“

She was referencing an episode I did on toxic family members and how I said if they are too toxic to be around that it’s okay to part ways with them.  [Read more…]

More self-help variety – The origin of upset, standing up to loved ones, apologies and forgiveness, shame and anger around death and more

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More self-help variety – The origin of upset, standing up to loved ones, apologies and forgiveness, shame and anger around death and more
More self-help variety – The origin of upset, standing up to loved ones, apologies and forgiveness, shame and anger around death and more
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More self-help variety – The origin of upset, standing up to loved ones, apologies and forgiveness, shame and anger around death and more
December 30, 2018

Lots more to explore in part two of the self-help variety show. What you are upset about has an origin from the past, exploring that can heal the present.

Do you stand up to your family for your significant other? Is it a good idea? How do you handle apologies and forgiveness? Should you ask for forgiveness?

What happens when you partner’s child doesn’t accept you in their life? What do you do with the feelings of shame and anger around someone’s death? Lots to explore in this New Year’s edition of TOB.

Difficult Relationship Moments Shouldn’t Turn Into Lasting Misery

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One night my girlfriend asked me to grab her lip balm before crawling into bed. I looked around, but couldn’t find where she asked me to look.

She got a little annoyed. I don’t know if she was annoyed that it wasn’t there, or annoyed at me because she thought I missed it. I asked her where else it might be.

She directed me to the bathroom. I looked around but still didn’t see it. She said emphatically, “It should be right there against the wall.”

I looked again… Nothing. So like a good boyfriend, I started searching for it elsewhere.

She told me to give up on my search. She said, “Don’t worry about it. If you can’t find it, I’ll go without.” But that old people-pleaser behavior in me dusted itself off and kicked in to gear. And in that moment, I made it my mission to find it.

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