The Overwhelmed Brain

Emotional Intelligence for Critical Thinkers

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Judging Others – Moving from Guilt to Great – Guilt is a Path to Compassion

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Judging Others – Moving from Guilt to Great – Guilt is a Path to Compassion
Judging Others – Moving from Guilt to Great – Guilt is a Path to Compassion
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Judging Others – Moving from Guilt to Great – Guilt is a Path to Compassion
February 5, 2017

Judging others is a sign of something you’re struggling with or haven’t healed from internally. It is anger, sadness, or some other bad feeling that you haven’t yet processed that is coming out and being directed at other people.

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Filed Under: Ask Paul, Compassion, Control, Dysfunction, Family, Guilt, Human Potential, Judgment, Marriage, Podcast Episode, Relationships Tagged With: Guilt is a Path to Compassion, Judging Others, Moving From Guilt to Feeling Great

The Formula for Friendship – Tuning Into the Yellow Flags of Betrayal – Trusting Relationships

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The Formula for Friendship – Tuning Into the Yellow Flags of Betrayal – Trusting Relationships
The Formula for Friendship – Tuning Into the Yellow Flags of Betrayal – Trusting Relationships
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The Formula for Friendship – Tuning Into the Yellow Flags of Betrayal – Trusting Relationships
January 8, 2017

Friendships are created and can last a lifetime, but they can also disintegrate, never to be rekindled.

What makes a friendship? How do you know if your friends are truly the ones that will be there with you and for you through all the good and bad times? In this first segment, I tackle these questions head-on.

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Filed Under: abuse, Ask Paul, Behavior, Control, Divorce, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Withdrawal, Fears, Human Potential, Infidelity, Lying, Manipulation, Marriage, Negative Emotions, Podcast Episode, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Self-Worth Tagged With: The Formula for Friendship, The Yellow Flags of Betrayal, Trusting Relationships

Do You Invest Too Much Into Your Relationship?

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I received an email from someone who is still obsessed over his ex even though they broke up long ago. Not in a “stalkerish” kind of way, but in a “I’m hurt and can’t stop thinking about her” kind of way. He cries almost daily and can’t get over the loss. According to him, she was everything he wanted in a girl.

He invested his time, energy, and emotions into the relationship, and even though it seemed to be going well, she decided to emotionally close off from him.

Eventually, they split. Since then, he has been unhappy. 

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Abandonment, Codependency, Divorce, Family, Human Potential, Marriage, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Self-Worth Tagged With: Do You Invest Too Much Into The Relationship?, When The Happiness Leaves With The Relationship

The Silent Treatment – How Emotional Withdrawal Dissolves Love

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We’ve all done it. At one time or another, you’ve emotionally withdrawn from someone who set off some sort of emotional trigger in you.

The Silent Treatment is a protection mechanism that kicks in when you feel hurt, unsafe, or triggered in some way. When someone does or says something that betrays your values, morals, or beliefs, you may withdraw and put on your “emotional armor.”

Some information may be so hard to accept or understand that you just want to slip back into your shell so that you can process it and figure out what to do next.

Important: If you believe that you may be doing emotionally abusive behavior and would like to change that about yourself, sign up for the life-changing Healed Being program over at healedbeing.com).

If you are currently in a relationship with someone who uses the silent treatment to make you feel guilty or sad, listen to my podcast Love and Abuse to help you navigate through the difficulties.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: abuse, anger, Behavior, Codependency, Dysfunction, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Withdrawal, Human Potential, Manipulation, Marriage, Negative Emotions, Podcast Episode, Relationships Tagged With: Dealing with Emotional Withdrawal, How do I deal with the silent treatment?, I'm getting the silent treatment from my girlfriend, The Silent Treatment, What is the silent treatment?

Measuring Your Worth and Esteem – Jealous and Insecure in the Relationship

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Measuring Your Worth and Esteem – Jealous and Insecure in the Relationship
Measuring Your Worth and Esteem – Jealous and Insecure in the Relationship
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Measuring Your Worth and Esteem – Jealous and Insecure in the Relationship
October 9, 2016

Self-esteem stems from the level of self-worth you have about yourself. How do you raise either or both so that you can walk through life confidently and assert yourself when needed?

There’s “street knowledge” then there’s book (academic) knowledge. Street Knowledge is having real-world experience. Book knowledge is when you know what to do but don’t necessarily know how to do it, or have the courage to do it.

In the Ask Paul segment, I read a letter from a jealous husband who doesn’t like it when other people look at his wife. He can’t figure out how to get past these feelings.

Insecurities abound in this segment so it’s a great segue from the last one. There’s a little bit of ego involved, a leap of faith, and a lot of trust that may need to be built up in order to allow the jealousy to go away.

Filed Under: Ask Paul, Behavior, Human Potential, Insecurity, Jealousy, Marriage, Negative Emotions, Personal Boundaries, Podcast Episode, Relationships Tagged With: I don't feel loved or important, Jealous and Insecure In Your Relationship?, Measuring Your Self-Worth and Self-Esteem

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