The Overwhelmed Brain

Emotional Intelligence for Critical Thinkers

Are You Being Abused By A Narcissist?

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A long time ago, I was taught that a narcissist was a person who stared into the mirror and adored themselves for hours. But after years of working with couples on many kinds of issues, including narcissistic abuse, my perspective on narcissism has broadened greatly.

Narcissists wouldn’t be so bad if they didn’t also drag other people into their world, manipulating them to do what they want regardless of the harm they inflicted. If they kept to themselves, most people could ignore them and go on with life.

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The abuse victim’s perspective – Step-parents and step-children – When honoring yourself leads to loneliness

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The abuse victim’s perspective – Step-parents and step-children – When honoring yourself leads to loneliness
The abuse victim’s perspective – Step-parents and step-children – When honoring yourself leads to loneliness
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The abuse victim’s perspective – Step-parents and step-children – When honoring yourself leads to loneliness
November 5, 2017

Why don’t abuse victims leave the relationship? The world can look at someone who is clearly being abused by their partner and say things like, “Why don’t you just leave?” But the abuse victim’s reality is a lot different from those who’ve not experienced what it’s like to have an abused mind.

Their perceptions and beliefs about the world are entirely different than ours so leaving isn’t the easy path others make it out to be. Segment 1 is all about the perspective of the abuse victim and why it’s not as easy to leave the abuser as it may appear to others.

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Stonewalling – Expectations of friends – Emotional abuse follows you – Get away to get closer to people

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Stonewalling – Expectations of friends – Emotional abuse follows you – Get away to get closer to people
Stonewalling – Expectations of friends – Emotional abuse follows you – Get away to get closer to people
Episode play icon
Stonewalling – Expectations of friends – Emotional abuse follows you – Get away to get closer to people
October 22, 2017

Stonewalling is damaging to a relationship and can make it fail if whatever is shut down is never brought up to be resolved. If you give your partner the silent treatment, you need to hear this segment. In segment two, I talk about expectations in friendships. Should friendships be an equal, two-way street or can there be imbalance where one person does all the work and the other just lets them do it?

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Guilt stops growth – Dad’s new girlfriend – Enabling the freeloader

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Guilt stops growth – Dad’s new girlfriend – Enabling the freeloader
Guilt stops growth – Dad’s new girlfriend – Enabling the freeloader
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Guilt stops growth – Dad’s new girlfriend – Enabling the freeloader
October 8, 2017

When you feel guilty for wanting to leave your partner because of their bad behavior, it’s time to transform that guilt into something more productive. Some partner’s set you up to feel guilty so you’ll never leave. This is called emotional abuse and it’s time to put a stop to it.

In segment two, I read a message from a woman who lost her mom. A few months later her dad wanted to be with someone new. His daughter didn’t like that at all and cannot get past that he could possibly do that so soon.

What happens when you lose a parent and the one left behind wants to date again? Can you support them or are you vehemently against it?

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The no-win conversation – Lashing out at others – Blame the cheater not yourself

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The no-win conversation – Lashing out at others – Blame the cheater not yourself
The no-win conversation – Lashing out at others – Blame the cheater not yourself
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The no-win conversation – Lashing out at others – Blame the cheater not yourself
September 10, 2017

Does your partner corner you into a no-win situation? Do they ask you questions that make you wrong no matter what you say?

In the first segment, I talk about double binds in relationships and a couple of ways to get out of the no-win questioning that often happens in both non-abusive and abusive relationships.

For segment 2, I discuss lashing out and where it comes from. Are they new emotions that seem to originate in the moment or are they old, stored emotions that derived from a single point in time?

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