The Overwhelmed Brain

Emotional Intelligence for Critical Thinkers

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What are Guilt and Shame – Fearing Rejection and Abandonment – Solving All Your Problems

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What are Guilt and Shame – Fearing Rejection and Abandonment – Solving All Your Problems
What are Guilt and Shame – Fearing Rejection and Abandonment – Solving All Your Problems
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What are Guilt and Shame – Fearing Rejection and Abandonment – Solving All Your Problems
April 16, 2017

Guilt and shame are two battles in two different dimensions: Internal and external.

Internally, you can feel guilt for something you’ve said or done. Externally, you can feel shame by being the recipient of other people’s judging and blaming.

In this episode, a listener asks me the difference between the two so I do my best to explain how I see it.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Abandonment, Ask Paul, Dysfunction, Fears, Guilt, Human Potential, Loneliness, Loss, Manipulation, Marriage, Negative Emotions, Podcast Episode, Regret, Rejection, Relationships, Shame Tagged With: Fearing Rejection and Abandonment, Solving All Your Problems, What are Guilt and Shame

Emotionally Needy People – Tapping into your Foundation – I Didn’t Ask For Your Advice – Fighting Desires

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Emotionally Needy People – Tapping into your Foundation – I Didn’t Ask For Your Advice – Fighting Desires
Emotionally Needy People – Tapping into your Foundation – I Didn’t Ask For Your Advice – Fighting Desires
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Emotionally Needy People – Tapping into your Foundation – I Didn’t Ask For Your Advice – Fighting Desires
April 2, 2017

What if you’re in a relationship where you need an emotional connection from someone else but they don’t seem to be in the same space as you? 

Sometimes the one you love will come home after a long day and you just want to shower them with love, but they don’t seem to want to shower you back.

Is there something wrong with them? Is there something dysfunctional about you?

If you are in a loving, supportive relationship, but can’t seem to connect to your partner, the first segment of this episode will help you sort out what might be going on.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Ask Paul, Desires, Dysfunction, Emotional Withdrawal, Human Potential, Loneliness, Marriage, Obsession, Relationships Tagged With: Emotionally Needy People, Fighting Desires, I Didn't Ask For Your Advice, Tapping into your Foundation

Failing the Challenge – Silent Abuse in Relationships – Depressed and Unmotivated – Appreciating What Works

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Failing the Challenge – Silent Abuse in Relationships – Depressed and Unmotivated – Appreciating What Works
Failing the Challenge – Silent Abuse in Relationships – Depressed and Unmotivated – Appreciating What Works
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Failing the Challenge – Silent Abuse in Relationships – Depressed and Unmotivated – Appreciating What Works
March 26, 2017

What do you do when you have to face a challenge that you believe you’re prepared for, but fail instead?

The feelings of failure can be debilitating, especially when you’ve spent a lot of time and energy working on self-improvement. It can feel like you’ve taken 10 steps backward. Learning comes with the challenge of applying what you’ve learned, so expect challenges to be just more than you think you’re prepared for.

When you have the tools, the challenge will come.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: abuse, Ask Paul, Control, Depression, Dysfunction, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Withdrawal, Human Potential, Manipulation, Negative Emotions, Overwhelm, Physical Health, Podcast Episode, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Self-Worth, Toxic People Tagged With: Appreciating Your Body, Depressed and Unmotivated, Emotional Abuse, Failing Challenges, Silent Abuse, verbal abuse

Breaking Through Obsessive Thoughts – Is Everyone Toxic? – The Real Issue in the Relationship

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Breaking Through Obsessive Thoughts – Is Everyone Toxic? – The Real Issue in the Relationship
Breaking Through Obsessive Thoughts – Is Everyone Toxic? – The Real Issue in the Relationship
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Breaking Through Obsessive Thoughts – Is Everyone Toxic? – The Real Issue in the Relationship
February 19, 2017

When obsessive and intrusive thoughts won’t go away, what can you do?

You might feel better knowing that won’t mean a thing in a hundred years, but if resolving them isn’t that easy for you, then let me take you through a series of steps that break them apart and repackage them in a way that might just help you deal with yours.

In this segment, I’ll ask you what’s wrong with having obsessive thoughts, why are they a problem, and if there’s anything you can do about what you’re obsessing over. I’ll also talk about your resistance to them and how it causes you to suffer. If you have been suffering from that negative internal dialogue, listen to this episode.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: abuse, Ask Paul, Beliefs, Control, Divorce, Dysfunction, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Withdrawal, Forgiveness, Guilt, Human Potential, Infidelity, Marriage, Negative Emotions, Obsession, Podcast Episode, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Self-Worth, Thinking, Toxic People Tagged With: Breaking Through Obsessive Thoughts, Is Everyone Toxic, She Cheated He Took Her Back

Judging Others – Moving from Guilt to Great – Guilt is a Path to Compassion

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Judging Others – Moving from Guilt to Great – Guilt is a Path to Compassion
Judging Others – Moving from Guilt to Great – Guilt is a Path to Compassion
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Judging Others – Moving from Guilt to Great – Guilt is a Path to Compassion
February 5, 2017

Judging others is a sign of something you’re struggling with or haven’t healed from internally. It is anger, sadness, or some other bad feeling that you haven’t yet processed that is coming out and being directed at other people.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Ask Paul, Compassion, Control, Dysfunction, Family, Guilt, Human Potential, Judgment, Marriage, Podcast Episode, Relationships Tagged With: Guilt is a Path to Compassion, Judging Others, Moving From Guilt to Feeling Great

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