The Overwhelmed Brain

Emotional Intelligence for Critical Thinkers

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Freeze instead of fight or flight – Learning what didn’t work with the ex – Healing the hole in your heart

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Freeze instead of fight or flight – Learning what didn’t work with the ex – Healing the hole in your heart
Freeze instead of fight or flight – Learning what didn’t work with the ex – Healing the hole in your heart
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Freeze instead of fight or flight – Learning what didn’t work with the ex – Healing the hole in your heart
November 12, 2017

What happens when you freeze instead of fight or flee? Is there anything you can do when you simply can’t function? In the first segment, I talk about the inability to move or sometimes even think when something or someone triggers you or you become stressed.

Freezing can often come from childhood when you felt like you could do nothing during a traumatic event. Learn to train yourself to stay aware of what’s happening so that the freeze doesn’t come.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Abandonment, Ask Paul, Behavior, Divorce, Human Potential, Loneliness, Loss, Marriage, Mourning, Podcast Episode, Relationships, Self-Worth Tagged With: Freeze instead of fight or flight, Healing the hole in your heart, Learning what didn't work with the ex

The abuse victim’s perspective – Step-parents and step-children – When honoring yourself leads to loneliness

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The abuse victim’s perspective – Step-parents and step-children – When honoring yourself leads to loneliness
The abuse victim’s perspective – Step-parents and step-children – When honoring yourself leads to loneliness
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The abuse victim’s perspective – Step-parents and step-children – When honoring yourself leads to loneliness
November 5, 2017

Why don’t abuse victims leave the relationship? The world can look at someone who is clearly being abused by their partner and say things like, “Why don’t you just leave?” But the abuse victim’s reality is a lot different from those who’ve not experienced what it’s like to have an abused mind.

Their perceptions and beliefs about the world are entirely different than ours so leaving isn’t the easy path others make it out to be. Segment 1 is all about the perspective of the abuse victim and why it’s not as easy to leave the abuser as it may appear to others.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: abuse, Ask Paul, Children, Control, Divorce, Emotional Abuse, Family, Human Potential, Loneliness, Manipulation, Marriage, Narcissism, Personal Boundaries, Podcast Episode, Relationships Tagged With: Emotional Abuse, Step-parents and step-children, The abuse victim's perspective, verbal abuse, When honoring yourself leads to loneliness

Rekindling with toxic family – The long-term results of honoring yourself – Even the victim plays a role – Contact or no contact your ex

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Rekindling with toxic family – The long-term results of honoring yourself – Even the victim plays a role – Contact or no contact your ex
Rekindling with toxic family – The long-term results of honoring yourself – Even the victim plays a role – Contact or no contact your ex
Episode play icon
Rekindling with toxic family – The long-term results of honoring yourself – Even the victim plays a role – Contact or no contact your ex
June 18, 2017

How do you go about rekindling with toxic and/or dysfunctional family members? Is it worth “going home” and starting up those old, dysfunctional, family get-togethers again?

Is it possible to avoid the toxicity of a dysfunctional family past? There is a way to return to a toxic family environment but it’s going to take some courage to be the person you want to be with the people that have always known you the way you were. I talk about that and more in segment one.

In segment two, I read a message from someone who shares what it’s like honoring yourself. Joshua says that he’s been taking steps to stand up for himself and express his truths to people that he never has before. He is showing up as that authentic person he’s always wanted to be and things are happening for him in a way that never has.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: abuse, childhood, Children, Control, Decisions, Depression, Desires, Divorce, Dysfunction, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Withdrawal, enabling, Family, Human Potential, Loneliness, Manipulation, Marriage, Narcissism, Personal Boundaries, Podcast Episode, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Self-Worth, Toxic People, Victim Mentality Tagged With: Contact or no contact your ex, Emotional Abuse, Even the victim plays a role, Rekindling with toxic family, The long-term results of honoring yourself, verbal abuse

All those years wasted with your ex – When hope works against you – What’s under the stream of negative emotions

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All those years wasted with your ex – When hope works against you – Under the stream of negative emotions
All those years wasted with your ex – When hope works against you – Under the stream of negative emotions
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All those years wasted with your ex – When hope works against you – Under the stream of negative emotions
June 11, 2017

How can you possibly forget that one ex who “wasted” years of your life? How can you possibly forgive them, either?

In the first segment of this episode, I read a letter from someone who married a big problem and now she is upset at him for “stealing” so many years of her life. She wants to forgive and move on but can’t seem to do it.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Ask Paul, Divorce, Forgiveness, Human Potential, Loneliness, Marriage, Negative Emotions, Podcast Episode, Relationships Tagged With: Wasted a lot of years with my ex, What's under the stream of negative emotions, When hope works against you

When You Haven’t Achieved Life Goals Yet – Walking the Line Between Partner and Consoler – Waiting for Your Ex to Return to the Relationship

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When You Haven’t Achieved Life Goals Yet – Walking the Line Between Partner and Consoler – Waiting for Your Ex to Return to the Relationship
When You Haven’t Achieved Life Goals Yet – Walking the Line Between Partner and Consoler – Waiting for Your Ex to Return to the Relationship
Episode play icon
When You Haven’t Achieved Life Goals Yet – Walking the Line Between Partner and Consoler – Waiting for Your Ex to Return to the Relationship
May 28, 2017

What happens when you reach that age where you thought you would have accomplished certain things in life but are nowhere close to what you set out to do 10, 20, 30, or more years ago? Do you get depressed? Do you have a mid-life crisis?

Or… maybe you see that there’s a bigger plan in the works for your life. If that’s too spiritual a view for you, perhaps it’s time to come to terms with your fears and accept realities you don’t want to accept.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Ask Paul, Beliefs, Career, Decisions, Desires, Divorce, Finances, Human Potential, Loneliness, Marriage, Passion, Regret, Relationships Tagged With: Waiting for Your Ex to Return to the Relationship, Walking the Line Between Partner and Consoler, When You Haven't Achieved Life Goals Yet

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