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Emotional Intelligence for Critical Thinkers

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Exploring Infidelity: Can The Relationship Survive The Affair?

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Exploring infidelity – Can the relationship survive the affair
Exploring infidelity – Can the relationship survive the affair
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Exploring infidelity – Can the relationship survive the affair
March 25, 2018

Cheating might be the end of most relationships, but many couples have survived and thrived after an affair. There are many components to infidelity so it’s important to understand it from all sides.

In this episode, I explore the basics of cheating and what will allow your relationship to survive and heal after the affair.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Abandonment, Ask Paul, Deception, Divorce, Family, Forgiveness, Guilt, Infidelity, Intimacy, Jealousy, Lying, Marriage, Podcast Episode, Rejection, Relationships, Sex, Values Tagged With: heal from cheating, Surviving the affair

Escaping the Real World – Kids and the Narcissistic Parent – The Isolation of the Child Sexual Abuse Survivor

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Escaping the Real World – Kids and the Narcissistic Parent – The Isolation of the Child Sexual Abuse Survivor
Escaping the Real World – Kids and the Narcissistic Parent – The Isolation of the Child Sexual Abuse Survivor
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Escaping the Real World – Kids and the Narcissistic Parent – The Isolation of the Child Sexual Abuse Survivor
November 26, 2017

Do you fantasize, daydream, play video games or watch TV in hopes that you won’t have to deal with reality?

It’s not all bad, but anything in moderation, right? In the first segment of this episode, I talk about the benefits of skipping reality for a little bit as long as you connect with yourself in other ways.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Abandonment, abuse, Ask Paul, childhood, Children, Codependency, Control, Divorce, Dysfunction, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Withdrawal, Family, Human Potential, Lying, Manipulation, Narcissism, Podcast Episode, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Self-Worth, Sex, Shame, Suicide Tagged With: childhood sexual abuse, lost in thought, narcissistic abuse, narcissistic ex

The no-win conversation – Lashing out at others – Blame the cheater not yourself

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The no-win conversation – Lashing out at others – Blame the cheater not yourself
The no-win conversation – Lashing out at others – Blame the cheater not yourself
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The no-win conversation – Lashing out at others – Blame the cheater not yourself
September 10, 2017

Does your partner corner you into a no-win situation? Do they ask you questions that make you wrong no matter what you say?

In the first segment, I talk about double binds in relationships and a couple of ways to get out of the no-win questioning that often happens in both non-abusive and abusive relationships.

For segment 2, I discuss lashing out and where it comes from. Are they new emotions that seem to originate in the moment or are they old, stored emotions that derived from a single point in time?

[Read more…]

Filed Under: abuse, anger, Ask Paul, Betrayal, Control, Divorce, Dysfunction, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Withdrawal, Family, Human Potential, Infidelity, Lying, Manipulation, Marriage, Narcissism, Podcast Episode, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Self-Worth, Sex, Toxic People Tagged With: Blame the cheater not yourself, Lashing out at others, The no-win conversation

Does Authenticity Make You Cringe – Getting Past Your Partner’s Past – Building Rapport with People

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Does Authenticity Make You Cringe – Getting Past Your Partner’s Past – Building Rapport with People
Does Authenticity Make You Cringe – Getting Past Your Partner’s Past – Building Rapport with People
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Does Authenticity Make You Cringe – Getting Past Your Partner’s Past – Building Rapport with People
June 25, 2017

When someone expresses themselves to you, do you cringe at the thought of you doing the same? Does the idea of sharing what they’re sharing make you feel uncomfortable? Does it stop you from living life the way you want with authenticity and confidence?

If you feel uncomfortable or shy when someone shares something vulnerable with you, that may be a sign that something could use some healing in you, if you want to explore it. It’s a great way to tell just what you need to work on in yourself.

Full expression can make you feel lighter and stronger at the same time, but it isn’t always easy to show up authentically.

In the second segment, I read a letter from someone I call Larry. He said he can’t get his girlfriend’s two-night stand out of his head. Even though that relationship ended way before Larry met her, he still has an issue with it.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: abuse, anger, Ask Paul, Control, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Withdrawal, Human Potential, Jealousy, Marriage, Negative Emotions, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Self-Worth, Sex, Vulnerability Tagged With: building rapport, cringing at your own authenticity, your partner's past

Sex Starts Before the Bedroom – Achieving Closure After the Breakup – Attracting Authentic People

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Starting Sex Before the Bedroom – Achieving Closure After the Breakup – Attracting Authentic People
Starting Sex Before the Bedroom – Achieving Closure After the Breakup – Attracting Authentic People
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Starting Sex Before the Bedroom – Achieving Closure After the Breakup – Attracting Authentic People
May 21, 2017

When does sex really start? Is it when you’re taking off your clothes?

Does it start when that heated kissing or “petting” begins? If you are emotionally connected, you already know when sex starts – way before you ever step into the bedroom.  If, however, you’re somewhat detached from your emotions, sex is probably, mainly a physical thing for you.

Regardless of where you are on the spectrum of sexual intelligence, this segment is all about how to build up to it the right way so that it is as enjoyable as it can be. The buildup, the trust, the vulnerability, the attentiveness, the receptiveness, and a whole lot more can make or break a great sexual encounter, let alone a healthy, happy sex life to begin with. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Ask Paul, Divorce, Human Potential, Loneliness, Marriage, Negative Emotions, Podcast Episode, Relationships, Sex Tagged With: Achieving Closure After the Breakup, Attracting Authentic People, Sex Starts Before the Bedroom

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