The Overwhelmed Brain

Emotional Intelligence for Critical Thinkers

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The Abused Mind and Mixed Signals in Relationships – Still Mourning – Overcoming Your Overwhelmed Brain

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The Abused Mind in Relationships – A Listener Gets Cheated On And Kicked Out – Wanting Others To Do What You Believe is Right
The Abused Mind in Relationships – A Listener Gets Cheated On And Kicked Out – Wanting Others To Do What You Believe is Right
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The Abused Mind in Relationships – A Listener Gets Cheated On And Kicked Out – Wanting Others To Do What You Believe is Right
March 6, 2016

Sexual and physical abuse survivors develop an abused mindset which they take into relationships. This mindset sets them up to be strung along and tolerate bad behavior. Often, former abuse victims end up with abusers in intimate relationships.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: abuse, Ask Paul, Control, Depression, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Withdrawal, Human Potential, Loneliness, Loss, Manipulation, Mourning, Overwhelm, Podcast Episode, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Self-Worth, Thinking, Values Tagged With: Emotional Abuse, Mixed Signals in Relationships, Overcoming Your Overwhelmed Brain, Still Mourning Over Loss, The Abused Mind, verbal abuse

Breaking Through Obsessive Thoughts – Is Everyone Toxic? – The Real Issue in the Relationship

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Breaking Through Obsessive Thoughts – Is Everyone Toxic? – The Real Issue in the Relationship
Breaking Through Obsessive Thoughts – Is Everyone Toxic? – The Real Issue in the Relationship
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Breaking Through Obsessive Thoughts – Is Everyone Toxic? – The Real Issue in the Relationship
February 19, 2017

When obsessive and intrusive thoughts won’t go away, what can you do?

You might feel better knowing that won’t mean a thing in a hundred years, but if resolving them isn’t that easy for you, then let me take you through a series of steps that break them apart and repackage them in a way that might just help you deal with yours.

In this segment, I’ll ask you what’s wrong with having obsessive thoughts, why are they a problem, and if there’s anything you can do about what you’re obsessing over. I’ll also talk about your resistance to them and how it causes you to suffer. If you have been suffering from that negative internal dialogue, listen to this episode.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: abuse, Ask Paul, Beliefs, Control, Divorce, Dysfunction, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Withdrawal, Forgiveness, Guilt, Human Potential, Infidelity, Marriage, Negative Emotions, Obsession, Podcast Episode, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Self-Worth, Thinking, Toxic People Tagged With: Breaking Through Obsessive Thoughts, Is Everyone Toxic, She Cheated He Took Her Back

Bad Luck and Great Fortune – Stuck with No Way Out – Small Lies and Big Problems – Advice For Life

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Bad Luck and Great Fortune – Stuck with No Way Out – Small Lies and Big Problems – Advice For Life
Bad Luck and Great Fortune – Stuck with No Way Out – Small Lies and Big Problems – Advice For Life
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Bad Luck and Great Fortune – Stuck with No Way Out – Small Lies and Big Problems – Advice For Life
February 12, 2017

When is a bad thing a good thing? When is a good thing bad? How attached are you to outcomes? I share a quick Zen Buddhist parable that might make you think twice about the stressors in the world today, especially with the heated political climate and growing fears of what might happen next.

Not everything is as it appears.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Ask Paul, Beliefs, Depression, Divorce, Fears, Human Potential, Infidelity, Manipulation, Marriage, Negative Emotions, Podcast Episode, Relationships, Thinking, Toxic People, Values Tagged With: Advice For Life, Bad Luck or Great Fortune, Small Lies and Big Problems, When You're Stuck With No Way Out

The Bad First Impression – Living with Debilitating Pain – Fear of Doing What’s Right For You

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The Bad First Impression – Living with Debilitating Pain – Fear of Doing Whats Right For You
The Bad First Impression – Living with Debilitating Pain – Fear of Doing Whats Right For You
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The Bad First Impression – Living with Debilitating Pain – Fear of Doing Whats Right For You
September 4, 2016

Making a bad first impression is not necessarily your fault. You could be well dressed, have a great hair day, have good breath, and even have the best personality, but that mole behind your ear makes them think of their mean uncle and suddenly, their first impression of you is that you aren’t trustworthy and maybe even harmful.

That’s quite a jump in logic but it does happen. In the first segment of this episode, I talk about the first impression a listener got with this show and how he criticized every episode I’ve ever created by listening to one 15-minute segment in a single episode.

What do you do when that one person criticizes you or your work? How do you block or avoid the emotional pain behind such a thing?

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Ask Paul, Behavior, Human Potential, Negative Emotions, Physical Health, Podcast Episode, Shame, Thinking, Toxic People Tagged With: Dealing with criticism, embarrassment, Fear of Doing Whats Right For You, Living with Debilitating Pain, The Bad First Impression

You still have to do the work – Protecting your kids from dysfunction – The chain of thoughts

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You still have to do the work – Protecting your kids from dysfunction – The chain of thoughts
You still have to do the work – Protecting your kids from dysfunction – The chain of thoughts
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You still have to do the work – Protecting your kids from dysfunction – The chain of thoughts

All this personal growth work is great and all, but you have to actually do the work in order for your life to get better.

The main reason for that is because you need feedback from your environment. You test, observe, test again, then take action. You learn through your results.

And in order to change your results, your desire has to overcome the results you’re getting now. If that happens, your life will change a lot easier.

Also in this episode, I read a letter from a mom who feels paralyzed by dysfunctional family members and is scared her child is going to pick up or become dysfunctional because of their bad behavior.

Family can sometimes be toxic, especially around children. Children know right from wrong, even when they’re exposed to toxic stuff, but as long as they have a healthy role model, sometimes the toxicity from others doesn’t rub off on them.

Be the best role model you can be and your child will do much better because of it.

In the last segment, I talk about how a subtle change in your thought can lead to a good outcome or a bad one.

Filed Under: Behavior, Family, Human Potential, Negative Emotions, Podcast Episode, Relationships, Thinking Tagged With: Doing the work to make life better, How to protect your kids from dysfunction, Why you're thinking of that right now

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