The Overwhelmed Brain

Emotional Intelligence for Critical Thinkers

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The Dramatic Victim Doesn’t Want Change

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Have you ever met someone who complained about their circumstances but wasn’t willing to do anything to change them?  

In fact, if you were to suggest a possible solution to them, they would come up with an excuse or valid-sounding reason for why your suggestion wouldn’t work. And the more you tried to help, the more flaws they’d find in your logic.

The hard truth is that some people don’t want to change, nor do they want others around them to help them change. People like this refuse to acknowledge the role they play in their misery and often blame others for their suffering.

If you are intertwined with someone like this, you might have to be careful that you are not helping to enable this behavior. This type of person may find comfort in your attention to their misery. And as long as they are getting their needs met, they may not mind if you become miserable along with them as you try to help them.

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Filed Under: Behavior, Control, enabling, Human Potential, Negative Emotions, Relationships, Toxic Behavior, Victim Mentality Tagged With: Dealing with the victim mentality, How to deal with the chronic complainer, Some people are so dramatic

My Healing Journey from Being an Emotional Abuser

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Emotional abuse is the ultimate brainwashing technique. It often hides in the form of feigned helplessness, generosity, compassion, and love. The perpetrator knows how to appear kind and caring while intertwining abusive behavior, causing the person on the receiving end to become powerless.

Emotional abuse is a method of controlling, manipulating, belittling, and invalidating a person over time. It is often hard to spot in the moment as it can be seen as benign or even “normal” to most observers.

But as this behavior is repeated time and time again, the insidious compound effect of this form of hidden abuse causes its victims to lose confidence in themselves, stop trusting in their own decisions, feel devalued and unimportant, and blame themselves for being the cause of, and sometimes even deserving, of the abusive behavior.

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    Filed Under: Abandonment, Blog article, Divorce, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Healing, Emotional Withdrawal, Empathy, Judgment, Manipulation, Marriage, Narcissism, Relationships, Toxic Behavior, Toxic Thinking Tagged With: Am I emotionally abusive?, Can the emotional abuser change?, how do I stop being emotionally abusive?

    Dealing with selfish people that don’t care if they hurt you

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    When you are interacting with people who only want what they want, regardless of how it affects you, you’re in for a very dysfunctional and possibly emotionally harmful situation.

    It’s important to know your line and know when people cross it, then honor that line so that you don’t lose a bit of yourself.

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    Filed Under: Emotional Abuse, Emotional Triggers, Empathy, Family, Lying, Manipulation, Marriage, Narcissism, Negative Emotions, Neglect, Personal Boundaries, Podcast Episode, Relationships, Selfishness Tagged With: narcissistic abuse, so selfish, why are people selfish?

    Making difficult or impossible decisions

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    If you’re always looking in the rearview mirror, it’s quite possible you’re not creating the life you want.

    Sometimes you get to the tipping point where you just can’t stand it anymore and you take action. Segment one of this episode covers this and more.

    In segment two, there’s a seriously difficult decision facing someone who wrote to me who is married but wants to explore being transgender, but his wife is upset and the marriage is in limbo. The impossible decision looms over him.

    Filed Under: abuse, Decisions, Divorce, Fears, Identity, Podcast Episode, Relationships Tagged With: Facing transgender issue in marriage, How to make difficult decisions

    How to make sure you make it through the big changes in life

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    If you don’t mind, I’m going to be Captain Obvious for a moment and share something with you that you already know:

    Life can throw you a curveball and turn your entire world upside down.

    Let me give you an example of a curveball:

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    Filed Under: anxiety, Decisions, Depression, Divorce, Fears, Loss, Overwhelm, Regret, Relationships Tagged With: major life events change everything, When life throws a curve ball

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