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Emotional Intelligence for Critical Thinkers

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So What You’re Afraid – Avoiding Unavoidable People – To Start Anew or Wait for the Old

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So What You’re Afraid – Avoiding Unavoidable People – To Start Anew or Wait for the Old
So What You’re Afraid – Avoiding Unavoidable People – To Start Anew or Wait for the Old
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So What You’re Afraid – Avoiding Unavoidable People – To Start Anew or Wait for the Old
July 16, 2017

Honoring your boundaries can be the hardest step to take in your personal development, and it’s also one of the fastest ways to start creating a life without toxicity and dysfunction. But what if you’re too scared to do it?

Getting to a place where fear goes away isn’t easy – it can take a lot of inner growth, leading to the confidence and courage to do whatever it takes to let others know what is acceptable and what is not. [Read more…]

Filed Under: abuse, Ask Paul, Control, Divorce, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Withdrawal, Family, Fears, Human Potential, Personal Boundaries, Podcast Episode, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Self-Worth Tagged With: Fear stopping you, starting anew or waiting for things to change, unavoidable people

Feeling Unworthy by Comparison – Your Partner’s Controlling Parent – Breakdown of Narcissism – Recycling Dysfunction

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Feeling Unworthy by Comparison – Your Partner’s Controlling Parent – Breakdown of Narcissism – Recycling Dysfunction
Feeling Unworthy by Comparison – Your Partner’s Controlling Parent – Breakdown of Narcissism – Recycling Dysfunction
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Feeling Unworthy by Comparison – Your Partner’s Controlling Parent – Breakdown of Narcissism – Recycling Dysfunction
July 9, 2017

Comparing yourself to other people is the fastest way to low self-worth and low self-esteem.

Why do we always compare ourselves to people that are better looking, wealthier, healthier, and have more success in areas of life that we are still working on? It seems like a black hole of misery that will never end.

In segment one, I talk about one of my good friends who is self-employed and wondering why she isn’t succeeding after a few months of what I see has been a very successful time for her. She is comparing her success to those that have been in the business for a long time and that comparison is making her feel down.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: abuse, Ask Paul, Career, Control, Dysfunction, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Withdrawal, Family, Marriage, Narcissism, Negative Emotions, Podcast Episode, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Self-Worth, Toxic People Tagged With: Breakdown of Narcissism, Feeling Unworthy by Comparison, Recycling Dysfunction, Your Partner's Controlling Parent

Does Authenticity Make You Cringe – Getting Past Your Partner’s Past – Building Rapport with People

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Does Authenticity Make You Cringe – Getting Past Your Partner’s Past – Building Rapport with People
Does Authenticity Make You Cringe – Getting Past Your Partner’s Past – Building Rapport with People
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Does Authenticity Make You Cringe – Getting Past Your Partner’s Past – Building Rapport with People
June 25, 2017

When someone expresses themselves to you, do you cringe at the thought of you doing the same? Does the idea of sharing what they’re sharing make you feel uncomfortable? Does it stop you from living life the way you want with authenticity and confidence?

If you feel uncomfortable or shy when someone shares something vulnerable with you, that may be a sign that something could use some healing in you, if you want to explore it. It’s a great way to tell just what you need to work on in yourself.

Full expression can make you feel lighter and stronger at the same time, but it isn’t always easy to show up authentically.

In the second segment, I read a letter from someone I call Larry. He said he can’t get his girlfriend’s two-night stand out of his head. Even though that relationship ended way before Larry met her, he still has an issue with it.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: abuse, anger, Ask Paul, Control, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Withdrawal, Human Potential, Jealousy, Marriage, Negative Emotions, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Self-Worth, Sex, Vulnerability Tagged With: building rapport, cringing at your own authenticity, your partner's past

Rekindling with toxic family – The long-term results of honoring yourself – Even the victim plays a role – Contact or no contact your ex

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Rekindling with toxic family – The long-term results of honoring yourself – Even the victim plays a role – Contact or no contact your ex
Rekindling with toxic family – The long-term results of honoring yourself – Even the victim plays a role – Contact or no contact your ex
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Rekindling with toxic family – The long-term results of honoring yourself – Even the victim plays a role – Contact or no contact your ex
June 18, 2017

How do you go about rekindling with toxic and/or dysfunctional family members? Is it worth “going home” and starting up those old, dysfunctional, family get-togethers again?

Is it possible to avoid the toxicity of a dysfunctional family past? There is a way to return to a toxic family environment but it’s going to take some courage to be the person you want to be with the people that have always known you the way you were. I talk about that and more in segment one.

In segment two, I read a message from someone who shares what it’s like honoring yourself. Joshua says that he’s been taking steps to stand up for himself and express his truths to people that he never has before. He is showing up as that authentic person he’s always wanted to be and things are happening for him in a way that never has.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: abuse, childhood, Children, Control, Decisions, Depression, Desires, Divorce, Dysfunction, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Withdrawal, enabling, Family, Human Potential, Loneliness, Manipulation, Marriage, Narcissism, Personal Boundaries, Podcast Episode, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Self-Worth, Toxic People, Victim Mentality Tagged With: Contact or no contact your ex, Emotional Abuse, Even the victim plays a role, Rekindling with toxic family, The long-term results of honoring yourself, verbal abuse

Identifying Your Sense of Self – Overcoming the Guilt of Leaving the Emotional Abuser – Diminishing Emotional Triggers

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Identifying Your Sense of Self – Overcoming the Guilt of Leaving the Emotional Abuser – Diminishing Emotional Triggers
Identifying Your Sense of Self – Overcoming the Guilt of Leaving the Emotional Abuser – Diminishing Emotional Triggers
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Identifying Your Sense of Self – Overcoming the Guilt of Leaving the Emotional Abuser – Diminishing Emotional Triggers
June 4, 2017

Your sense of self and identity can dissolve or even be rewritten over years of trauma, abuse, and/or dysfunction.

Dis-integration can happen after a lifetime of challenges that you haven’t yet healed from, causing you to feel scattered and feel like you have no purpose.

When you don’t have a strong emotional foundation, the hard times are harder and you feel beat up and burnt out almost all the time so it’s important to establish who you are.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: abuse, anger, Ask Paul, Control, Divorce, Ego, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Withdrawal, Guilt, Human Potential, Identity, Marriage, Podcast Episode, Rejection, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Self-Worth Tagged With: Diminishing Emotional Triggers, Emotional Abuse, How do I know if I'm being emotionally abused?, Identifying Your Sense of Self, Overcoming the Guilt of Leaving the Emotional Abuser, verbal abuse, What is emotional abuse?

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