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Emotional Intelligence for Critical Thinkers

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The Yeah But Mentality – Life After Abuse – Rejecting Former Friends

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The Yeah But Mentality – Life After Abuse – Rejecting Former Friends
The Yeah But Mentality – Life After Abuse – Rejecting Former Friends
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The Yeah But Mentality – Life After Abuse – Rejecting Former Friends
August 28, 2016
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Ever have a friend that said “Yeah But…” to every good suggestion you made? How about when they actually ask for your advice, you give it, but they don’t do it because their excuse machine activates?

There are two types of people I talk about in the first segment: “Yeah, But” people, and “Okay, I’ll Try It” people. Sure, there are millions of other types of people out there, but it’s a good start.

Also, I receive a letter from a woman who decided to remove toxic family members from her life and get away from abuse. She took massive first steps, but what’s next? How can you recover from a life of abuse? How can you get to a place beyond where you can relax and feel good again?

Finally, I read another letting about what it might take to reject people in your life. How about those sensitive people that might be hurt by rejection? Is there a way to get away from those who keep showing up when you don’t want them to? Sounds like a great thing to talk about.

Filed Under: abuse, Behavior, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Withdrawal, Human Potential, Manipulation, Marriage, Narcissism, Podcast Episode, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Self-Worth, Suicide, Toxic People, Victim Mentality Tagged With: Emotional Abuse, Life After Abuse, Rejecting Former Friends, The Yeah But Mentality, verbal abuse

What Makes One Cheat When Their Relationship Is Great?

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Why would you cheat if you’re in love and have a great sex life? It’s not like sex is missing from your life, so what’s the point of going outside the relationship for it?

Sure, perhaps a new body, a new experience, and even newfound pleasures sound appealing, but are those enough to risk flushing your current relationship down the toilet?

I recently received a letter from a woman who cheated on her husband. However, she told me there was nothing wrong in her current relationship. They were madly in love and their sex life was amazing. But, she cheated anyway. Shortly after, she felt awful about it and fessed up to him.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Behavior, Betrayal, Divorce, Emotional Abuse, Family, Infidelity, Manipulation, Marriage, Negative Emotions, Relationships Tagged With: cheaters, cheating, How can I get over the pain of the affair?, I think my spouse is cheating, Infidelity

What Emotionally Abusive Communication Looks Like

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manipulation

The number of manipulative people in the world is probably a lot higher than you might imagine. Of course, maybe I have that perception because the majority of my clients are in manipulative relationships, and I just don’t see too many other types.

Back around 2010, I realized I was a manipulative person for most of my life. I used masterful communication skills to get my selfish needs met by those closest to me.

In every relationship I’ve ever been in, I found ways to manipulate my partner. It took several breakups and finally a divorce for me to realize that my behavior was the reason for all of the heartaches that kept appearing in my life.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: abuse, Behavior, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Withdrawal, Manipulation, Narcissism, Negative Emotions, Personal Boundaries, Relationships, Self-Worth, Shame Tagged With: guilty, invalidation, manipulation, manipulators, shame

The Abused Mind in Relationships – A Listener Gets Cheated On And Kicked Out – Wanting Others To Do What You Believe is Right

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The Abused Mind in Relationships – A Listener Gets Cheated On And Kicked Out – Wanting Others To Do What You Believe is Right
The Abused Mind in Relationships – A Listener Gets Cheated On And Kicked Out – Wanting Others To Do What You Believe is Right
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The Abused Mind in Relationships – A Listener Gets Cheated On And Kicked Out – Wanting Others To Do What You Believe is Right
March 6, 2016
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Getting into an abusive relationship is a quick path to a horrible future. Getting into a great relationship, however, can seem like the best thing that ever happened… unless they cheat, then it feels like an abusive relationship.

If you decide to stay in a relationship where you know infidelity is happening, are you being abused, or are you abusing yourself? 

[Read more…]

Filed Under: abuse, anxiety, Behavior, Control, Divorce, Dysfunction, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Withdrawal, enabling, Family, Guilt, Human Potential, Infidelity, Loneliness, Marriage, Podcast Episode, Relationships, Toxic People Tagged With: cheating in a marriage, Emotional Abuse, I have an abused mind, verbal abuse, Wanting others to do what you want

Eliminating Negative Memories – The Yin Yang of Masculine and Feminine – Emotional Detachment

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Eliminating Negative Memories, the Yin Yang of Masculine and Feminine, and Emotional Detachment
Eliminating Negative Memories, the Yin Yang of Masculine and Feminine, and Emotional Detachment
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Eliminating Negative Memories, the Yin Yang of Masculine and Feminine, and Emotional Detachment
November 8, 2015
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Segment one: Our emotions are attached to our memories. Our memories are attached to people and stuff. It’s that stuff that we hold on to that sometimes makes us feel bad, so why do we still have it in our lives? Pictures are a great example of this. Why keep pictures that make you feel bad?

Segment two: In any relationship, the role of masculine is typically played by one person and the role of the feminine is played by the other. The problem occurs when one person likes the role they’re in and the other doesn’t. Knowing your role and what best works for the relationship will create a harmonious get-together as opposed to one of conflict.

Segment three: In this final segment, I talk a bit about detaching from your emotions. Being emotionally detached can make your partner think that you don’t love them which can be one of the worst feelings in the world.

Stop anxiety when it starts with The S.A.F.E. Empowerment System

Filed Under: anger, Communication, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Healing, Emotional Triggers, Emotional Withdrawal, Family, Femininity, Healthy Thinking, Marriage, Masculinity, Negative Emotions, Podcast Episode, Relationships Tagged With: Eliminating Negative Memories, Seems so emotionally detached, the Yin Yang of Masculine and Feminine

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