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Emotional Intelligence for Critical Thinkers

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Difficult Relationship Moments Shouldn’t Turn Into Lasting Misery

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One night my girlfriend asked me to grab her lip balm before crawling into bed. I looked around, but couldn’t find where she asked me to look.

She got a little annoyed. I don’t know if she was annoyed that it wasn’t there, or annoyed at me because she thought I missed it. I asked her where else it might be.

She directed me to the bathroom. I looked around but still didn’t see it. She said emphatically, “It should be right there against the wall.”

I looked again… Nothing. So like a good boyfriend, I started searching for it elsewhere.

She told me to give up on my search. She said, “Don’t worry about it. If you can’t find it, I’ll go without.” But that old people-pleaser behavior in me dusted itself off and kicked in to gear. And in that moment, I made it my mission to find it.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: anger, Ask Paul, Communication, Divorce, Family, Marriage, People Pleaser, Relationships Tagged With: miserable in my relationship, My partner and I are always arguing, My partner and I are always fighting

Are you enabling the bad behavior of other people?

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Are you enabling the bad behavior of other people?
Are you enabling the bad behavior of other people?
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Are you enabling the bad behavior of other people?
October 21, 2018

Do you enable behavior that you don’t like? Is it possible that the people that cause you stress do so because you are allowing it in some way?

This episode covers a very important topic that may help you get your power back if you adopt and apply the message.

For more on enabling bad behavior, be sure to tune into the Love and Abuse podcast. 

Filed Under: abuse, anger, Behavior, Betrayal, Codependency, Communication, Control, Dysfunction, Emotional Abuse, enabling, Family, Manipulation, Negative Emotions, Podcast Episode, Relationships, Toxic Behavior Tagged With: Are you enabling bad behavior?, When people mistreat you

I’m right you’re wrong: The sides we take that create division and distress

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I’m right you’re wrong: The sides we take that create division and distress
I’m right you’re wrong: The sides we take that create division and distress
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I’m right you’re wrong: The sides we take that create division and distress
October 14, 2018

If they’re not like you, you don’t like them. If you’re not like them, they don’t like you.

You have opinions, so do they, but should your differences separate you and cause you so much stress that you would rather lose relationships than accept people for their differences?

This is a full episode with many angles, including social awkwardness and social anxiety.

Filed Under: anger, anxiety, Ask Paul, Communication, Judgment Tagged With: social anxiety, taking sides with people, what to do about social awkwardness

The fear that you’ll never experience something ever again

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The fear that you’ll never experience something ever again
The fear that you’ll never experience something ever again
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The fear that you’ll never experience something ever again
August 26, 2018

The best relationship, job, or event in your life flashes by, and now you are afraid that’s the best there ever was and it will never be that good again.

When you use the words, “never,” “ever,” and “always,” you set up your present and future for a daily misery that never ends. It’s time to examine the language we use and make sure we are not setting up our reality to be a nightmare.

Filed Under: Ask Paul, Communication, Divorce, Fears, Marriage, Negative Emotions, Obsession, Podcast Episode, Regret, Relationships, Toxic Thinking, Victim Mentality Tagged With: losing your one true love, never happy again

Can Your Relationship Heal After An Affair?

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If you’ve been the victim or the perpetrator of infidelity, or you suspect that there might be cheating in your relationship, this article will help you understand several important aspects of the cheater’s behavior, the cheating partner’s perspective, and what both partners need to focus on if they are planning on saving the relationship after the affair is discovered.

Whether you want to save your relationship or not, this article will be a good resource to help you understand the perspective of both partners.

A relationship can survive infidelity if both partners want to work on it, but there are some challenging steps ahead for the couple on this path.

This article is a path to understanding the basic components of the cheater, cheating in general, and what it takes to create a successful relationship during the rebuilding process. 

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Abandonment, Communication, Deception, Divorce, Emotional Abuse, Fears, Guilt, Infidelity, Jealousy, Loneliness, Lying, Manipulation, Marriage, Regret, Relationships, Sex, Values Tagged With: cheated on me, cheating husband, cheating wife, healing after cheating, healing from the affair, surviving infidelity, why do people cheat

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