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Emotional Intelligence for Critical Thinkers

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How to Make Your Relationship Last Almost Forever

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Do you value what your partner values? If not, you may be in for a rude awakening when they suddenly get upset with you for seemingly no reason.

What’s important to you may not be important to them, and vice versa, but it might be a good idea to make what they value important to you since your relationship’s longevity may depend on it.

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Filed Under: anger, Ask Paul, Divorce, Fears, Marriage, Personal Boundaries, Podcast Episode, Relationships, Values, Vulnerability Tagged With: Valuing your partner's values, what's important to your partner?

Making decisions that are right for you, and tackling obsession and overthinking once and for all – Part 1

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Making decisions that are right for you and tackling obsession and overthinking once and for all
Making decisions that are right for you and tackling obsession and overthinking once and for all
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Making decisions that are right for you and tackling obsession and overthinking once and for all
February 3, 2019

Obsessive thoughts and overanalyzing can lead to terrible (or no) decision-making, causing you to stay in a rut that you can never get out of. Or if you do get out, it’s a very, very slow process.

In this episode, I talk about what it takes to make decisions that are right for you so that you stay out of obsessive thinking and get back to a more efficient, more productive, more fulfilling life.

This is part one of a two-part episode. Part two is here.

Filed Under: anxiety, Decisions, Depression, Divorce, Emotional Triggers, Jealousy, Loneliness, Loss, Negative Emotions, Obsession, Podcast Episode, Rejection, Relationships, Toxic Thinking Tagged With: Making the right decisions, Obsessive thinking is destructive, Overcoming obsessive thinking

Avoiding the Relationship Con Artist

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Have you ever wondered why some people get away with things and others don’t?

From what I’ve seen, the more dishonest someone is, the more they seem to get away with bad behavior of some sort.

When an honest person tries to get away with immoral or unethical behavior, they are often caught in the act and have to pay the price. Of course, you might say, “If they’re trying to get away with something, that doesn’t make them very honest then, does it?”

You may be right!

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Filed Under: Ask Paul, Betrayal, Blog article, Control, Dating, Deception, Divorce, Emotional Abuse, Infidelity, Lying, Manipulation, Relationships Tagged With: How can I tell if the person I'm dating is honest?, How do I know if my date is lying?, We fell in love fast

Difficult Relationship Moments Shouldn’t Turn Into Lasting Misery

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One night my girlfriend asked me to grab her lip balm before crawling into bed. I looked around, but couldn’t find where she asked me to look.

She got a little annoyed. I don’t know if she was annoyed that it wasn’t there, or annoyed at me because she thought I missed it. I asked her where else it might be.

She directed me to the bathroom. I looked around but still didn’t see it. She said emphatically, “It should be right there against the wall.”

I looked again… Nothing. So like a good boyfriend, I started searching for it elsewhere.

She told me to give up on my search. She said, “Don’t worry about it. If you can’t find it, I’ll go without.” But that old people-pleaser behavior in me dusted itself off and kicked in to gear. And in that moment, I made it my mission to find it.

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Filed Under: anger, Ask Paul, Communication, Divorce, Family, Marriage, People Pleaser, Relationships Tagged With: miserable in my relationship, My partner and I are always arguing, My partner and I are always fighting

The Silent Treatment

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The Silent Treatment
The Silent Treatment
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The Silent Treatment
October 28, 2018

Silence can be golden, but in a relationship, it can lead to a slow death. It’s crucial to understand how damaging withdrawing love and attention can be.

Over time, with ongoing neglect, love can dissolve to the point of no return.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Divorce, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Triggers, Emotional Withdrawal, Marriage, Neglect, Podcast Episode, Relationships Tagged With: He withdraws love and affection, She is giving me the silent treatment

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