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Emotional Intelligence for Critical Thinkers

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Those “think positively” people – Little problems that lead to explosive reactions – What is a toxic person?

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If you’re one of those people who repress negativity and put on a smile to hide your upset, you are likely creating negative emotions in your body that will eventually lead to depression. If you aren’t sure what I mean, listen to segment one of today’s episode.

In segment two, I talk about how the little spats in relationships that lead to massive blowups have an origin. The unspoken words are what cause those big explosions. It’s time to connect emotionally rather than logically to diffuse the emotional bombs before they explode.

For segment three, I answer the question: What is toxic? Do we call people toxic just to avoid our own personal growth? A listener challenges me on the topic.

Filed Under: abuse, anger, anxiety, Ask Paul, Control, Depression, Dysfunction, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Withdrawal, Family, Human Potential, Marriage, Negative Emotions, Overwhelm, Physical Health, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Self-Worth, Thinking, Toxic People, Victim Mentality Tagged With: Little problems that lead to explosive reactions, Those "think positively" people, What is a toxic person?

The no-win conversation – Lashing out at others – Blame the cheater not yourself

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Does your partner corner you into a no-win situation? Do they ask you questions that make you wrong no matter what you say?

In the first segment, I talk about double binds in relationships and a couple of ways to get out of the no-win questioning that often happens in both non-abusive and abusive relationships.

For segment 2, I discuss lashing out and where it comes from. Are they new emotions that seem to originate in the moment or are they old, stored emotions that derived from a single point in time?

[Read more…]

Filed Under: abuse, anger, Ask Paul, Betrayal, Control, Divorce, Dysfunction, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Withdrawal, Family, Human Potential, Infidelity, Lying, Manipulation, Marriage, Narcissism, Podcast Episode, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Self-Worth, Sex, Toxic People Tagged With: Blame the cheater not yourself, Lashing out at others, The no-win conversation

Reconnecting With Family As The New You

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One of the hardest steps to take after any level of personal growth and development is introducing the new you to those who know you best:

Family

I stayed out of touch with my father for 10 years(!) until I heard that he was dying. 10 years previous to that, I made the choice to stay away from him because our conversations never really seemed to be about how much he missed me and wanted to spend time with me, they’d almost always end with him asking me for money.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: childhood, Dysfunction, Family, Fears, Identity, Personal Boundaries, Relationships Tagged With: Reconnecting With Family As The New You

Feeling Unworthy by Comparison – Your Partner’s Controlling Parent – Breakdown of Narcissism – Recycling Dysfunction

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Feeling Unworthy by Comparison – Your Partner’s Controlling Parent – Breakdown of Narcissism – Recycling Dysfunction
Feeling Unworthy by Comparison – Your Partner’s Controlling Parent – Breakdown of Narcissism – Recycling Dysfunction
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Feeling Unworthy by Comparison – Your Partner’s Controlling Parent – Breakdown of Narcissism – Recycling Dysfunction
July 9, 2017
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Comparing yourself to other people is the fastest way to low self-worth and low self-esteem.

Why do we always compare ourselves to people that are better looking, wealthier, healthier, and have more success in areas of life that we are still working on? It seems like a black hole of misery that will never end.

In segment one, I talk about one of my good friends who is self-employed and wondering why she isn’t succeeding after a few months of what I see has been a very successful time for her. She is comparing her success to those that have been in the business for a long time and that comparison is making her feel down.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: abuse, Ask Paul, Career, Control, Dysfunction, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Withdrawal, Family, Marriage, Narcissism, Negative Emotions, Podcast Episode, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Self-Worth, Toxic People Tagged With: Breakdown of Narcissism, Feeling Unworthy by Comparison, Recycling Dysfunction, Your Partner's Controlling Parent

Rekindling with toxic family – The long-term results of honoring yourself – Even the victim plays a role – Contact or no contact your ex

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How do you go about rekindling with toxic and/or dysfunctional family members? Is it worth “going home” and starting up those old, dysfunctional, family get-togethers again?

Is it possible to avoid the toxicity of a dysfunctional family past? There is a way to return to a toxic family environment but it’s going to take some courage to be the person you want to be with the people that have always known you the way you were. I talk about that and more in segment one.

In segment two, I read a message from someone who shares what it’s like honoring yourself. Joshua says that he’s been taking steps to stand up for himself and express his truths to people that he never has before. He is showing up as that authentic person he’s always wanted to be and things are happening for him in a way that never has.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: abuse, childhood, Children, Control, Decisions, Depression, Desires, Divorce, Dysfunction, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Withdrawal, enabling, Family, Human Potential, Loneliness, Manipulation, Marriage, Narcissism, Personal Boundaries, Podcast Episode, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Self-Worth, Toxic People, Victim Mentality Tagged With: Contact or no contact your ex, Emotional Abuse, Even the victim plays a role, Rekindling with toxic family, The long-term results of honoring yourself, verbal abuse

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