The Overwhelmed Brain

Emotional Intelligence for Critical Thinkers

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An Addict’s Mind – Is Suffering Optional – Avoid Healing by Judging Others

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An Addict’s Mind – Is Suffering Optional – Avoid Healing by Judging Others
An Addict’s Mind – Is Suffering Optional – Avoid Healing by Judging Others
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An Addict’s Mind – Is Suffering Optional – Avoid Healing by Judging Others
January 7, 2018
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Segment 1: The addict has a different perspective of the world according to a recovering addict that sent me a message that I read on this episode. Segment 2: We’re told that suffering is optional. I make an argument against, and for it.

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Filed Under: Addiction, Codependency, Divorce, Emotional Healing, enabling, Healing, Judgment, Marriage, Relationships, Suffering, Toxic Thinking Tagged With: How does an addict's mind work?, Is Suffering Optional? Avoid Healing by Judging Others

When your partner sides with their family against you

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When your partner changes their mind about your life plans
When your partner changes their mind about your life plans
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When your partner changes their mind about your life plans
April 8, 2018
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If your partner’s family is against you and your partner sides with them, what do you do?

When you can’t feel safe in your own relationship because your partner’s priority is his or her own family over you, you may have some hard choices to make. In this episode, Matthew Bivens and I have an emotionally intelligent conversation about an email I received from a woman whose husband shared her personal message to a relative of his.

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Filed Under: Abandonment, Ask Paul, Betrayal, Codependency, Control, Decisions, Divorce, Dysfunction, Emotional Abuse, enabling, Family, Human Potential, Marriage, Podcast Episode, Relationships, Toxic People Tagged With: blood is thicker, mama's boy, unhealthy family ties

Attracting higher quality partners – Feeling sorry for those that abuse you – Try, try again or do or do not?

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Attracting higher quality partners – Feeling sorry for those that abuse you – Try, try again or do or do not
Attracting higher quality partners – Feeling sorry for those that abuse you – Try, try again or do or do not
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Attracting higher quality partners – Feeling sorry for those that abuse you – Try, try again or do or do not
December 3, 2017
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Segment 1: Do you attract the worst partners? What does it take to find a normal person to date?

There is a path to attracting quality partners but it may involve facing your fear of loss.

Segment 2: If you feel bad for your emotional abuser or manipulator, you are more likely to stay in the relationship and take the abuse.

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Filed Under: abuse, Codependency, Compassion, Control, Divorce, Dysfunction, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Withdrawal, enabling, Manipulation, Marriage, Relationships, Thinking, Toxic People Tagged With: Attracting higher quality partners, Feeling sorry for those that abuse you, Try try again or do or do not?

Are You Being Abused By A Narcissist?

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A long time ago, I was taught that a narcissist was a person who stared into the mirror and adored themselves for hours. But after years of working with couples on many kinds of issues, including narcissistic abuse, my perspective on narcissism has broadened greatly.

Narcissists wouldn’t be so bad if they didn’t also drag other people into their world, manipulating them to do what they want regardless of the harm they inflicted. If they kept to themselves, most people could ignore them and go on with life.

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Filed Under: abuse, Control, Divorce, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Withdrawal, enabling, Guilt, Infidelity, Manipulation, Marriage, Narcissism, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Self-Worth, Toxic People Tagged With: crazy making, Emotional Abuse, emotional manipulation, love bombing, narcissism, narcissistic abuse, verbal abuse

Guilt stops growth – Dad’s new girlfriend – Enabling the freeloader

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Guilt stops growth – Dad’s new girlfriend – Enabling the freeloader
Guilt stops growth – Dad’s new girlfriend – Enabling the freeloader
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Guilt stops growth – Dad’s new girlfriend – Enabling the freeloader
October 8, 2017
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When you feel guilty for wanting to leave your partner because of their bad behavior, it’s time to transform that guilt into something more productive. Some partner’s set you up to feel guilty so you’ll never leave. This is called emotional abuse and it’s time to put a stop to it.

In segment two, I read a message from a woman who lost her mom. A few months later her dad wanted to be with someone new. His daughter didn’t like that at all and cannot get past that he could possibly do that so soon.

What happens when you lose a parent and the one left behind wants to date again? Can you support them or are you vehemently against it?

[Read more…]

Filed Under: anger, Ask Paul, Codependency, Control, Divorce, Dysfunction, Emotional Abuse, enabling, Family, Forgiveness, Guilt, Marriage, Relationships, Values Tagged With: Do you allow people to take advantage of you?, Does your partner make you feel guilty?, When a parent starts dating "too soon"

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